Straight Female / 38
Husband Got Valentine Gift From Safeway...for Me And His Mistress
The jerk was two hours late getting home from work.
Using the Find My app, I tracked him at Safeway and then at his mistress's apartment.
He was all excited when he got home. He said he'd driven to four florists, only to find that all were sold out of Valentine flowers. At the fifth one he found an adorable teddy bear wearing a pink sweater and carrying one red rose.
He forgot to remove the green "BARGAIN 9.99" tag on the bear's butt!
Later I was organizing online shopping lists. The Safeway app keeps a history of in-store as well as online purchases. There it was! "Floral clearance - bear with rose - 1 stem" for $9.99. But the quantity was 2 instead of 1!
I took the bear, cut it open, pulled out the stuffing, crushed the rose petals, removed the thorns from the stem, and spread the whole mess on his side of the bed, along with a screen shot of the purchase record. "Hope your mistress enjoyed hers, too. I'll be meeting a divorce lawyer tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day, honey!"
Using the Find My app, I tracked him at Safeway and then at his mistress's apartment.
He was all excited when he got home. He said he'd driven to four florists, only to find that all were sold out of Valentine flowers. At the fifth one he found an adorable teddy bear wearing a pink sweater and carrying one red rose.
He forgot to remove the green "BARGAIN 9.99" tag on the bear's butt!
Later I was organizing online shopping lists. The Safeway app keeps a history of in-store as well as online purchases. There it was! "Floral clearance - bear with rose - 1 stem" for $9.99. But the quantity was 2 instead of 1!
I took the bear, cut it open, pulled out the stuffing, crushed the rose petals, removed the thorns from the stem, and spread the whole mess on his side of the bed, along with a screen shot of the purchase record. "Hope your mistress enjoyed hers, too. I'll be meeting a divorce lawyer tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day, honey!"