Knocked Off My Feet, In Love At First Sight
I finished my Cardiology residency June of 2020 and joined a practice with a large client base. I was assigned a patient, a 36 year old woman with congenital heart issue. She was there for her annual checkup. When I walked into the examining room I lost a breath. Her blue eyes went through me, her handshake was too long, her smile transfixed me. In my life experience no one had made my heart miss a beat.
I went over her history, her current condition and health status. I examined her and had her lay down. While I listened to her heart I had to unbutton her shirt and fit the stethoscope under her bra. She looked into my eyes, and asked 'may I?' and put her hand under my breast. I lost bladder control and wet my pants. Her hand on my breast caused my voice to break telling her it was inappropriate, but I did not remove her hand.
I composed myself and stood back, telling her she couldn't be my patient and I had to excuse myself. She sat up and told me she wanted me to be her doctor, not somebody who didn't care. I told her she was fine, to come back in six months and I would find another doctor for her case. And I went to change my pants.
That evening I got a phone message asking me to meet her for lunch the next day. I decided to go, to end this completely. Her eyes took KY resolve away, she told me she was married, but he was a man. That she wanted me to meet him. She wanted a start over, she knew more than ever I was the one she had been looking for. I had no choice, no backbone, I agreed to meet her on Saturday, her and her husband. She walked me back to the clinic kissing me on the lips.
Saturday. Three days after I first set eyes on her. Her husband is a big man, 50 something, very manly, very firm handshake, took over the conversation, interrogated me, told me his wife was not to be hurt, questioned my intentions, asked if I walked on both sides of the street or stayed in my lane. I couldn't answer, except to shake my head. He gave us permission to get to know each other.
Sleeping with her was private, being taken by him was three's company. I rushed at the end of the day to see her. I had to admit to myself I had never had a crush like this, never made love like this, never before had I let a man have me, but it made her happy. If only I could wake up with her every day.
I don't now, or since I learned of my propensity, deny I am a lesbian. She is a lesbian. My heart, grain, feelings, emotions right now are overwhelmed. I can't explain allowing her husband to have me, to play three's company with them. I thought getting my medical degree was the hardest test in my life, it's not. Figuring out this relationship mix is.