Adult Confessions

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This category is for confessing to things that are just plain 'ol "funny as fuck." If it won't make us piss ourselves with laughter, it simply doesn't belong here. Knock yourself out you funny shit..

- Funny As Fuck -
Bi-Sexual Male / 21

21 Y Guy, Fantasize About Sucking Dicks From Boys Between 3~10 Years

i would love to get totally naked and kneel submissively in front of a little white boy aged 3 to 12 and then i would kiss, lick and suck vigorously and pleasurably his hard, delicious, smegma cock peepee. I would suckle on the purple red glans like a boys strawberry, I would moan with pleasure ''hhmmmmmm'' while tasting the delicious cocks of the little boys, I would love to see the little boys laughing with pleasure and dominating me and giving me orders on how I should suck your beautiful and delicious dicks.

3
# 56182 - by Suckboyscocks / January 19, 2022
    • - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 22

    Older Neighbor Pays Me To Photoshop Nude Photos Of His Wife

    It started as as simple request. My neighbor asked me to fix a family photo using my mad photoshop skills.

    Then he asked me to remove some people from the background of a beach pic of him and his wife. While standing over my shoulder he jokingly (not so jokingly) asked if I could make her boobs bigger. So I did.

    He was impressed. So I made her a bit skinnier and removed some sun blotches from her face while making her look younger.

    Later that night I get a text asking if I could edit some private photos and he'd paypal me $5 a pic. I agree and a second later I get a pic of her in black lingerie. Needless to say I jerked it then edit the photo. Giving her the "mommy makerover" and putting her in a sexy hotel scene.

    For a couple weeks it was pretty much the same. Lots of lingerie pics and some underwear pics. Then out of no where I get a pic of her completely naked in the shower. I proceeded to photoshop her in a co-ed shower. Blending her into the background.

    I've done all sorts of kinky stuff for this guy. I put his wife on the street corner with prostitutes. Naked on a nude beach. Locked in in jail naked in a nude line up. You name it I've done it.

    Yesterday I got the first pic of him. It was a close up of his dick about to go inside his wife very tight looking and sexy pussy. He asked if I could make his dick bigger. It made me laugh to see that his dick was so small.

    Anyways his wife has no idea I've seen her naked and fucking. It's hot to bump into her in the hallway knowing I'll probably get new naked pictures of her later that evening.

    2
    # 55978 - by Chris / January 10, 2022
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Gay Male / 25

    Is It The Next Step Or A For Runner? Help Someone ...

    I used to read about this when I was doing legal studies at school about fetish with dead bodies and I can't even think to go there. but I do like watching men fuck sex dolls with huge tits wobbling everywhere. is that weird? I don't mind sex dolls but a real dead body I think it would be a dull event and smelly. not my think so help me loud.

    3
    # 55855 - by Batscank / January 4, 2022
    • - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 18

    Cumming At Midnight

    My parents had a New Years Eve party at my house last night and there must have been 20 or more people in attendance. Most of them were drunk and loud well before midnight, so I went up to my room with my cousin Sherry to get away from the craziness. She and her parents had planned on sleeping over after the party.

    We were both on our laptops when she started to giggle and when I looked over she closed her laptop. I asked her to show me what was so funny. Her friend Carla had sent her a picture of a party at a nudist resort somewhere. Carla had made the joke that they were all gonna cum together at the "STROKE" of midnight. LOL.

    "Not a bad idea I told Sherry" jokingly, as I put my hand between my legs and rubbed my cock. Sherry was a year younger than me at age 15 and we had fooled around a little before. " Well we only have ten minutes" she said. She pulled her shirt over her head and let her big boobs free, as I started to unzip my pants. In no time my 6.5 inch cock was standing up and Sherry wiggled it about and said " Oh Wow".

    She started to suck my cock as I fondled her nice firm boobs. I tensed up and felt my cum building up. I told her to wait a second until we heard fireworks going off in the neighborhood and all the people downstairs yelling Happy New Year . She took my cock in her hand and after just a few strokes I shot my own fireworks off as I shot several big streams of cum on her chest.

    "Happy new Year " I laughed as the last few drops squirted out....

    0
    # 55791 - by JayJay / January 1, 2022
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 32

    I've Banged 2 Out Of 3 Sisters And Seen All 3 Naked

    About 13 years ago in college I dated a girl with 2 other sisters. All younger. The girl was a 90 pound sex freak. We fucked all the time. We'd fuck all night and there were even times I'd wake up to her masturbating next to me.

    One time we went to her parents house and found the middle sister butt ass naked riding her boyfriend in the living room floor. We had a perfect view from the garage window and my girlfriend actually enjoyed watching her sister. Told me not to interrupt and to at least let them finish.

    So we did. I watch the sister moan and eventually cum. Then she stood over the boyfriend legs spread and let his cum drip out of he pussy onto his chest. The sex freak gene is clearly genetic. I got to see her fully naked from head to toe and even lucky enough to watch her get dressed.

    Fast forward 13 years to the past summer and I ran into the youngest sister on POST who had just started police academy. Last time I saw her she was only 11, but now she's 24 and looks exactly like her oldest sister.

    We hit it off and I offered for her to join me at my hotel just off POST. She wanted a break from the dorms, but we both knew what it meant. She wasted no time getting naked in front of me and asking if I wanted to join her in the shower.

    She's so little and light I had her holding on to the shower rod but basically pounded the shit out of her in mid air. We fucked non-stop in between classes for almost an entire week. I haven't seen or talked to her since.

    Update on the oldest sister. She married a veterinarian and has 2 kids.

    1
    # 55743 - by Aaron / December 29, 2021
    • - Funny As Fuck -
    Bi-Sexual Male / 25

    Marilyn Monroe- My Friend

    It happened to my friend in front of me. She was in charge of taking care of a childcare center. It was a part time job. She needed some cash for a strict personal reasons. Little did she know that the day care had notorious kids. It was a hot day and she wore a long frock dress. As the dress was long, she did not bother wearing panties.
    She was in the playground with the kids. There was a leafblower there and the kids decided to blow her skirt to have fun. I was there that day to run an errand to her. She was talking to me when one of the boys brought the blower and started it. In a matter of seconds, the dress went up to the point I could see the bottom half of her white bras. From that point to the feet, I along with 5 other kids (3 boys and 2 girls) could see her bare bottom.
    The kids went, lily (fake name) is not wearing underwear. The blower was still on and she was having some hard time pulling down her dress. The girls were covering there mouth and eyes but still seeing her once in a while.
    The kids were pulling her dress from here and there to tease her while she tried chasing the kid with the blower who was constantly blowing her to show her bare bottoms. I jokingly said to her that if the kids want to see her pussy and butt so bad then she should just show them so that they don’t tease her anymore. She took it seriously and it worked. She suddenly stopped struggling and lifted her dress to expose her bare bottom to them and said to them to look properly with their heart's content. Their fun ended within seconds. They all saw her pussy for 10-12 seconds with a sad face and then said that they don’t want to play anymore and their mood died. So they went inside. She let go of the dress and after some time we resumed our conversation.

    0
    # 55720 - by AmoMano / December 27, 2021
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Bi-Sexual Female / 67

    Tit Worship Training.

    it started out with therapist and her daughter talking about boovys and hard nipples on pets and I had a dislike for tits being touched for decades and now cope with it but nipples feel sore and blizard so now my husband and I love watching men fuck sex dolls with huge tits wobbling everywhere and sucking them to orgasm. It gives me a turn on and I am a woman. but the idea of being fucked like that and even a man showing me how he would do it to me is a good feeling. he said he would make a porn of him doing it and we could try this reverse cowgirl thing while sucking and tit worship and cum to tit suck worship porn.

    0
    # 55683 - by Noosyfarker / December 25, 2021
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 27

    Girlfriend Received 12 Pelvic Exams In A Single Day & She Liked It

    My girlfriend is in her last year of nursing school and was encouraged to sign up as a standardized patient to understand what it's like to be a patient before going out into the real world. Plus they always need SPs for the medical students to practice on, so she did.

    Her patient card informed her that she was having unprotected sex with multiple partners and was there for birth control. BUT she was to pretend she was there for headaches and to embarrassed to talk about sex with them. According to her it's pretty common to have wild back stories to help get the med students out of their comfort zones.

    Anyways, she said about half of the docs picked up that there was more going on than headaches and pushed her to talk about all the sex she was supposedly having. From there she ending up having 12 different pelvic exams from 12 different med students.

    I know she liked it because it's day 3 after the exams and she's incredibly horny.

    0
    # 55623 - by Ron / December 22, 2021
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Lesbian Female / 28

    Am I On The Turn Of Gay?

    I was thinking about riding a woman's hot bulby long nipples with my c**t and clit. I seen a girl clit fuck a girl sex doll and ride her face as well and her boyfriend watched.

    0
    # 55498 - by Never thought this way b4 / December 15, 2021
    • - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Female / 32

    Hockey Bet Turned Blowbang

    Hi!!

    So im Stacey and from Toronto Canada and lastnight I lost a bet.

    As an Oilers fan I bet my new boyfriend that the Oilers would beat the Maple Leafs by 2. The bet was if my Oilers win he would eat my pussy and my best friends pussy he laughed saying no problem so he said the same back and that I would suck his cock and his best friends. DEAL we both said and since are best friends are both singal they had no issues with this and were both excited. So I don't know if you guys watch hockey that much but the Oilers lost 5 to 1. Watching the game I couldn't believe I had to do this and the worst parts is is that all were at our place watching the game. So the game ends my boyfriend looks at me with the biggest smile on his face knowing I'm gonna have some dicks in my mouth and my girlfriend is looking at me like OMG its really going to happen. I say let's get it over with. I take my top off so my tits are out and kneel down on the carpet. My boyfriend and his buddy stand up pants off standing above me semi hard. My boyfriend says are you sure and I say yes. So started sucking both at the same time going back and forth between them. Taking turns deepthroating and gagging on each. it didn't take long before there were going to blow( i would say 10 minutes) umy top was off so they could cum on my tits but both of them pulled out of my mouth and shot their loads all over my face which I wasn't expecting and it was a lot. My girlfriend grabbed me a towel wipe the cum off my face and all could see were 2 guys with the biggest smiles on there faces which made me happy that they were happy. Would I do it again? Yes for sure withe the Maple Leafs haha NO!

    0
    # 55491 - by Stacey / December 15, 2021
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