We've all had them - those truly hateful embarrassing moments, caught with your finger up your nose, or snooping through a medicine cabinet, sneezing snot all over a fellow passenger, or realizing you forgot to set the parking brake after your car rolls into a gully, or needing to wrap your jacket around your waist when your period unexpectedly started when you were wearing white pants. This is the place to chronicle those most embarrassing moments so we can laugh at it together. Let the whole world know your bad habits and when you got caught committing them.

Husband Got Valentine Gift From Safeway...for Me And His Mistress

The jerk was two hours late getting home from work.

Using the Find My app, I tracked him at Safeway and then at his mistress's apartment.

He was all excited when he got home. He said he'd driven to four florists, only to find that all were sold out of Valentine flowers. At the fifth one he found an adorable teddy bear wearing a pink sweater and carrying one red rose.

He forgot to remove the green "BARGAIN 9.99" tag on the bear's butt!

Later I was organizing online shopping lists. The Safeway app keeps a history of in-store as well as online purchases. There it was! "Floral clearance - bear with rose - 1 stem" for $9.99. But the quantity was 2 instead of 1!

I took the bear, cut it open, pulled out the stuffing, crushed the rose petals, removed the thorns from the stem, and spread the whole mess on his side of the bed, along with a screen shot of the purchase record. "Hope your mistress enjoyed hers, too. I'll be meeting a divorce lawyer tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day, honey!"

  • Lucky Not To Be In Jail

    In my early 20's I was quietly let go from a job at a funeral home. Yes I did something really sick and the director discovered it.
    My job was a nighttime position prepping bodies for early morning embalming. It was part time and I only worked when a body was brought in noon or after. One evening I was called in. The body was a stunning teen girl. Some sort of natural causes because no marks on the body. Her naked body was perfect! I am an ass guy so I rolled her over face down. O_M_G I full on took my cock out and began jerking off. I was rock hard when I took my free hand and touched her perfect ass. No turning back there. I lubed my cock, jumped on the table and fucked her asshole. It was probably the most intense orgasm I ever had!
    I placed her back in position and finished the prep. I got a call the next day asking me to come in. The director had a private talk with me. He definitely noticed her disturbed back door. I was quietly told I would not be called back and told to not seek employment at any similar facilities.

    Talk About Being Embarrassed

    Last April I was in Florida on business for my company. It was Spring Break for lots of college guys so I met a few in the bar where I was staying. They invited me to a party they were having the next evening so being recently divorced I was looking for some fun.

    They had rented a beach house so there were lots of people there with most of them half my age but they made me feel right at home.

    As I had heard about Spring Break there was lots of drinking and other things. I hadn’t partied in some time so it didn’t take long for me to get drunk.

    As the evening went on a few of the guys started coming on to me which was flattering since there were lots of younger girls there their age.

    Being very drunk when one of the guys started kissing me I didn’t resist his advances so we got very passionate. As we were kissing I felt someone else running their hand up my skirt. Before I could do anything he was in my panties fingering me.

    It had been almost two years since I had been intimate so between the kissing and foreplay it didn’t take long to have me where they wanted. So right in front of everyone at the party my panties came off

    I had not been on birth control since shortly after my ex and I separated so I told them they needed to use condoms which both guys did. It had been so long that I had multiple orgasms between the two of them with the whole crowd cheering them on.

    I returned home then a week or so later I felt under the weather. Thinking I had the flu I went to the doctor. After he examined me he left the room then returned with the nurse. I was stunned with he asked if I knew I was pregnant since I had not yet missed my period. I was totally embarrassed because he had been my ex and my doctor for years so he knew I was single.

    I made the decision to have the baby since I am against abortion. In early January I had a beautiful baby girl.

  • Face Full Of Brothers Cock!

    Last spring my little brother graduated high school. He was an "oops" baby, I'm 26 with an older brother as well.
    A few years back Mom, dad and little brother moved to another state for a work thing. I stayed. Anyway I was driving in for little brothers graduation. He was looking forward to it, not to mention the big party that night. Well day before graduation his girlfriend dumped him and hooked up with another guy. He was crushed. AND I WAS PISSED! Note to anyone listening, think it through before you decide to do something.
    I was going to rub this little skanks nose in it. I figured no one at his school knew me. I insisted he go to the after party and I was going to be his hot older woman date. Not my smartest plan...
    I dressed up a little slutty and we walked into the party. A few drinks in I realized I was in over my head. My role as his date got the appropriate shock factor but now I was in a role to compete with his ex girlfriend. She was playing it up with the new boyfriend. Dancing, making out, his hands all over her.
    Yes, I did it. I kissed my brother, and not just a peck on the lips. I let him feel me up and played out the role.
    Then something happened I didn't understand. One of my brothers friends came up and said "hey, are we gonna do some side by sides tonight". My brother froze and I could tell he was nervous. I had no clue what a "side by side" was. My brother was trying to make an excuse but when His ex and the new boy joined the group and said "yes" I spoke up for my brother and said "were in".
    NOT A BRIGHT MOVE! In my world a "side by side" is an all terrain vehicle. Not here! Let me describe this.
    Everyone joining in quickly got in their cars and started pairing off. The cars would park in opposite directions so the drivers could roll down the windows and talk face to face. Then I got the shock. My brothers friend raised his hips and obviously pulled his pants down. His girlfriend went down and started sucking his cock. O-M-G! My brother was sitting there like a deer in the headlights refusing to look at me. His friend made a joke asking if I was shy. My brother slowly raised his hips and pulled his pants down. THE LITTLE SHIT COULD HAVE FAKED IT! He looked over at me like he wanted to die. I slowly went down in his lap. I put my hand over his little soft dick and began to fake it. Again O-M-G! He couldn't help it, he got hard! I kept my hand over his hard on shielding my face. He slipped his hand down and slowly started rubbing his dick and it only took a minute. He shot his cum all over my hand and himself.
    The most embarrassing night of my life!

    It Caught Me Out .

    My wife to see people dogging . I took her to a place where i knew there was dogging . I had seen the car headlighs in the trees . The car park was in the trees . We sat watching . She wanted me to join in . To signal you wanted to join in . You flashed your headlights and left them on with your engine running . She wanted to watch me getting a blow job from a woman . I had to take my trousers off and sit sideways on my drivers seat . With my legs hanging outside the door . For a woman to come over and give me a blow job . I sat waiting for a long time . They were getting fucked . But no one was interested in me . I told my wife i was going to get dressed . She told me to be patient and wait . No one was looking at me or coming over to me . Then someone was crawling along the ground from the back of my car . My car was in darkness . No lights on us . Lights on in the car . I was watching the fucking . I could feel my cock in a mouth . I was enjoying a blow job . When l looked down it was a man . I have always been straight . My wife knew i was not in to sex with men . She knew i was going to tell him to stop . She told me not to . Enjoying watching man giving me a blow job . It made me feel embarrassed . It was what gay men did . After he had made me cum . I was embarrassed about it . I never wanted it to happen again . On our way driving home my wife told me how much she had enjoyed watching it . She took her panties off and wanted me to rub her clit . I could tell just how arroused she was . As she was soon cumming . My rubbing her when i was driving was one of the things she liked . But it usually took a long time for her to cum . She told me that seeing a man giving me a blow job had been a big turn on . She wanted to see me getting a blow job in our house . She looked on a gay contact site. Finding a young twink in our area . She arranged him to visit me . She would pay him . We have lots of gay friends . Both men and women . We go to there nights out and parties . They always have great parties . They know we are both straight . They have never come on to us . She thought of asking one of them to hook us up with one . That would have been too embarrassing . Before he arrived she told me to wear baggy PJ bottoms . He came in and introduced himself . Looking at him you knew he was gay . When he spoke it proved it . He was a nice looking boy . We sat on the sofa and my wife asked him if she could watch . He told her that was ok as long as she did not try to join in . He was only in to men . She sat in a chair watching us with her hand under her dress and in her panties rubbing her pussy . He let me cum in his mouth and he swallowed it . My wife wanted to watch me give him a blow job . I told he no . But she was almost begging me . As he did not look like a normal man . I gave him a blow job . Even swallowing his cum . After showing my mouth full of it to my wife . She asked me what it was like giving him a blow job . I told her that him being young and looking gay . Had made it easier . After 2 weeks she told me that she wanted to see me give another blow job . This time without telling me . She arranged for me to realise my fantasy . I had told her that i had been looking at transexuals . The pretty ones that had tits and face that looked like girls . She knew that part of my fantasy . Was that their body must be shaved . It is easy to find willing transsexuals in our area . They post pictures on a contact site . Not for gay men also for women . Most are not like that . She found one that she liked . Arranging to meet her for a coffee on Saturday . After talking she invited him to our house . When i saw her she was beautiful . It was hard to believe that she had a cock . When she asked her to undress . Even seeing the cock i fancied her . We went to our bedroom and undressed . We both kissed her . Then she fucked my wife . I licked the cum from her pussy . We lay on the bed . Both me and my wife kissing her and feeling the cock . When it was hard . My wife watched me give her a blowjob and swallow the cum . I was had and my wife wanted to watch me fucking her in the but . I was feeling so arroused i did it . Using a condom . Feeling my cock in his but . Was not like fucking a woman . It was so tight . My wife was playing with my balls . I was cumming . She told me she could feel it in my balls when i was cumming .

  • SuperBowl SuperBrawl Part 3

    Then Karen took the Gatorade and poured it on top of The Videomaster's head as The Videomaster was pretty much the Last Man standing at this point

    Then the sirens were heard as The Police were on their way after the neighbors reported all of the chaos as all of the fighting.

    Gaten Materezzo regained consciousness and heard the sirens and then went over to wake both Finn and Logan up as they did and heard the sirens and needed to bail.

    Gaten: Fin, Logan wake Up the Police are coming.

    Finn: The Police, oh fuck we better get out of here, where's our shoes.

    Logan: Why are my socks wet?

    The Videomaster saw the three regain consciousness and attempted to chase them.

    Videomaster: Oh Hell No, the three of you ain't leaving here alive.

    Gaten, Finn, and Logan all ran back into the Ecto One Sockfooted and all drove off as The Videomaster got into his truck to chase the Ecto One as The Police Arrived to break up all of the chaos that was happening.

    Jim, Jerry, Kimberly, Jennifer, Fred , Arthur, Chad, Banana Guy, and Karen were all taken away in handcuffs and sent to jail most likely with a laundry list of charge.

    The Referee Regained Consciousness and threw the Flag on the Floor.

    Referee: Penalty, Total Insanity, No One Wins. Except the Philadelphia Eagles because Mahomes didn't suck my balls long enough for me to flag every Eagles Offense this time.

    There you have it Ladies and Gentlemen the SuperBowl SuperBrawl has mercifully ended with Chaos, Thousands of Dollars in Damages, Potential Lawsuits, Arrests Being Made this was truly on of the most chaotic SuperBowl Parties in History.

    It's a Good thing Actors Finn Wolfhard, Logan Kim, and Gaten Matarazzo got the Hell out of Dodge before the Cop arrived otherwise this incident would be all over the News and on next month's issue of People Magazine.

    The Real Question is has the Videomaster caught up to them, boy I tell you what this Feud between The Videomaster has with actors Finn Wolfhard and Logan Kim ain't over until it's settled inside HELL IN A CELL at WrestleMania 41 which might also include actors Asher Angel and Jack Dylan Grazer whom The Videomaster has made repeated threats against since 2 Years Ago.

    Hey Triple H, book that Match for WrestleMania 41.

    Well that wraps this up this Coverage of SuperBowl SuperBrawl, see you Next Time, Good Night Everybody.

    SuperBowl SuperBrawl Part 1

    SuperBowl SuperBrawl

    Sponsored by Wendy's SuperBar it'll be back someday.

    Welcome Sports Fans to the Jeffers and Price Family SuperBowl SuperBrawl

    All Hell Broke Loose as Brothers Jim and Jerry argued all game long with Jim throwing a Tantrum over the Chiefs Performance with Jerry rubbing it in Jim's Face.

    Normlly Jim is the one throwing a tantrum about Jim was flipping out because the Chiefs were losing and Patrick Mahomes was exposed as the fraud that he is.

    Jim: This is Bullshit the Chies were supposed to win, fcknig backstabbing refs.

    Jerry: Cry about it Jim the Eagles are going to fly over you and that bitch Taylor Swift.

    Then tempers flared as both Jim and Jerry yelled at eachother and then started throwing chicken wings and nachos at eachother which stained the living room and before you know it the fists started flying.

    Both jim and Jerry started punching eachother and fought all over the living room, destroying the living room in the process and fought on top of the coffee table causing all of the food to spill as other party goers tried to seperate them including the referee who laid a flag on the floor.

    Referee: Penalty, unnecessary Fist Fighting.

    But that didn't stop Jim and Jerry from beating the Hell out of eachother as they continued to trade punches and throw food at eachother leaving a big mess in the living room as wings sauce and nacho cheese stained the whole living room.

    Jennifer: Taylor Swift is a Cunt

    Kimberly: I'l lkill you for saying that you bitch

    Then Kimberly and Jennifer the daughters of both Jim and Jerry got into a catfight over Taylor Swift as the two cousins stripped down to their bra and panties and had a catfight in the living room while their fathers started throwing their jerseys at each other and engaged in another fist fight.

    Referee: Penalty, Catfighting

    Then in comes Cousin Fred dressed like a cheerleader wearing a top, skirt, was barefoot, and was shaking his pompons, licking his fingers and rubbing his nipples and smelling his fucknig feet and the sight of him would make anyone want to go blind as the referee flagged that call too.

    Fred: You want to smell my feet?

    Referee: Penalty, dressing like a cheerleader and being barefoot.

    Then Fred makes his way towards the restroom as the Referee than says

    Referee: Penalty, barefoot in the bathroom, disgusting.

    Then one of the guests sate too many wings made and shit their pants and then asked another man to wipe his ass pulled his pants down as the ref dropped the flag on the floor

    Man: I Shit my Pants can you wipe my ass.

    Other Man: Bro ar you fucking Serious.

    Referee: Penalty, too lazy to wipe his ass

    Fred: I'll wipe your ass with my Foot.

    But then Fred walks back into the party wearing Chiefs Thong and then used his bare foot to wipe the partier's dirty shit filled ass and go shit all over his bare foot and then started smelling his feet too the horror and disgust to the entire party.

    Fred: Smells like Shit.

    Referee: Penalty, Smelling Feet.

    Then one party goer strips down to his underwear and socks and starts breakdancing while Kendrick Lamar is performing during Half Time.

    Then Cousin Arthur gets naked and has sex with a Picnic Table as Neighbor Louis is having a panic attack over hearing MUSTARD as Arthur squirts Louise with Mustard causing her to flip out.

    Louise: OH MAH GAWD, THAT'S DISGUSTING. ARE YOU NUTS? ARE YOU NUTS?

    Clearly Louise has never recovered from the humiliation from being on the MAury Povich show 20 Years Ago.

    Then one man is seen dancing with Bananas in the party wearing a yellow thong and was also giving himself a blowjob with a banana which upset Chad because he felt he was being upstaged.

    Referee: Penalty, Dancing with Bananas.

    Then in comes George on his motorcycle wearing Pantyhoes as he drove his motorcycle through the front door and crashed into the coffee table and setting the smoke alarm off in the house, as Jim and Jerry both yelled at George and before you know it it turned into a three way free for all between Jim, Jerry, and George in the living room.

    George: MARY ANNE MARY ANNE MARY ANNE MARY ANNE.

    Referee: Penalty, Illegal Motorcycle In the Ho....Ow.

    HE HIT HIM WITH A VIDEO, HE HIT HIM WITH A VIDEO!

    Walk by Pantera Play as The Videomaster his The Referee with a VHS Tape and began to hi everyone with VHS Tapes.

    Then The Ghostbusters Theme began to play and Te Ecto Oe Sirens could be heard outside the House as The Ecto One pulled up in front of the house.

    The Videomaster left the House armed with VHS Tapes and The Ecto One opened it's doors as there was both Finn Wolfhard and Logan Kim in their Ghostbusters Uniforms challenging The Videomaster to hit them.

    Feeling Guilty

    A few weeks ago I was out shopping and ran into an old boyfriend from high school. He was in town visiting family. I hadn’t seen him since we graduated so when he invited me to go for a drink I accepted. He was staying at a hotel close to where we ran into each other so we went there to the lounge.
    We had a couple of drinks then I started getting sentimental about old days back in high school. We were never intimate.when we dated but when it was obvious he was flirting with me I got aroused giving him hints I was interested but he didn’t make a move.
    After I finished my drink I told him I had better be getting back because it was getting late.
    As we were walking out he took my hand then we ended up going to his room where we had sex for over an hour.
    Now I’m having a real guilt trip because nobody other than my husband had ever came in me but I let him since my tubes are tied so there was no chance of him getting me pregnant.

    Visiting Building Sites .

    Near where to where we live in England . There are sites where houses are being built to be sold . Some are large and very expensive . My wife likes to visit them . To have a look arround the unfinished ones . They have things like kitchens already installed . Although she likes to look through them . She also wants to have sex in them . We have had sex with her leaning on the empty wooden window frame . Looking out of the bedroom window I pull her panties down . Lift her dress . Drop my jeans , and fuck her . She likes to be able to see people walking arround . Not noticing us . One time i had her bending over a kitchen unit . Dress lifted up to her neck . Panties round her ankles . Me with my jeans round my ankles . Fucking her . I had pushed her bra off her tits . I had my hands on them . All of her body up to her neck was exposed . I was cumming . I heard a noise behind us . When i turned my head to look behind . My cock still in her pussy . A couple were standing watching us . I had no idea how long they had been there . I pulled out . Cum was running out of her . All i could say was hello . They replied hello and walked away . I was embarrassed . My wife was laughing .

  • An Erecion In My Tight Shorts

    I live in Britain . Me and my wife holiday in Dorset . Where we holiday there is one of the best beaches in Britain . It is over 3 miles long . In the day it is crowded and one end is a nudist beach . We like to take a walk on the beach on a nice warm summer evening . Our favorite area is a bay . We walk along the shore eventually arriving at a restaurant . It is always deserted . One evening we were walking where the sandy beach is at its widest . At least 250 yads wide . An expensive speed boat came in near the beach . 3 beautiful girls looking to be in their late teen got out and walked slowly towards us . They were naked with beautiful boobs and hairy pussys . They walked up to us and then continued on across the beach . When they reached the far side . They turned round and walked back . We had moved along the beach , but they headed to where we were . They stopped in front of us . Looked at us and smiled . By now i had an erection . That could be could clearly seen outline , pushing out the front of my tight shorts . They seemed satisfied to see my erection . Blowing kisses at us . They walked back to the boat . I still had the erection when we encountered 3 middle aged couples . Walking towards us . I saw the women looking at my erection . Then they were talking to each and laughing . They kept looking back at us .