Who doesn't have an Uncle Bubba, with the beer belly and obnoxious belching, or the Aunt Petunia with the bright red lipstick and too-tight pants? We all have at least one person in the family tree we'd all wish would be plucked. If your relatives would make a good comedy routine, then we want to hear about them. This category is for all those stories about loud aunts, drunk brothers, flatulent uncles, and slutty sisters.

Two Bars, And My Niece Is Pregnant

On Friday I left work early without telling my wife, so my niece and I had some private time together. I'd been buying her tests every few months, to be as responsible as I could, given than neither of likes condoms, let alone me pulling out. We've been making love so much, frankly I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. At 20 she is very fertile.

I'm not worried for her. She is over the moon! She wished for becoming a mom and not going to college.

I am worried about my situation. There's no question, imma step up and be an amazing dad. I'm excited at the thought of us finding a place just for us and of being able to spend time together like a regular couple, no more stolen afternoons here and there.

What I have no clue about is how to explain to my wife that I'm leaving her. We've been roommates for years, but she'll still make a big deal, I fear.

And how do I tell my brother? I mean, he should be relieved his daughter is pregnant to a man who loves her and who has financial resources to help her. But he will probably fixate on all the differences between us. He's very religious, so he'll probably also say it's wrong.

Not sure how my two sons, who are around the same age as my niece, will take the news. They're both good with the ladies, so I can see them high-fiving me. On the other hand, their mom might manipulate them, turning them against me.

So, there's my confession, a mix of excitement and trepidation.

  • Spying On My Aunt

    One of my aunts had an incredible body, we had a pool at our house and she came over often always changing into her suit in the spare bedroom. I had the bright idea to hide in there when I was like twelve or thirteen. She came into the room, I was standing there with my face against the slit in the bifold door watching her, she is totally naked and is putting on the bottom part when suddenly she jerks her head looking straight at the doors. She started moving right at the door I was behind, opens it up still topless and whispers you little pervert. She did not even cover her breasts and says what to do about this, goes thru a scenario of me getting grounded for life then says or and moves even closer to me and says Lick my nipples and I am about to wet myself. I started doing it, she is giving whispering commands on what to do, I end up with one of my hands in her suit bottom rubbing her pussy. She is standing there smiling at me then says drop them, meaning my pants. She knelt down and told me I better keep quiet and starts sucking on me hard, I am almost in pain as she is doing it. Gets me hard as a rock then just stops and finishes putting on her suit and tells me see you out at the pool pervert. I redressed myself and changed into my suit after beating off, anytime she had the chance she would flash me and even grabbed my cock thru the suit underwater. She asked my mom if she thought I was old enough to mow her lawn, my mom said oh, of course and my aunt replied by saying good will pick him up tomorrow and he can do that and clean out weeds in my flower beds, mom was like put him to work doing whatever you need done. I come in from doing all that plus some other stuff and she tells me to come on so I follow her back to her bedroom, she took off her clothes and told me how to lick her pussy and pleasure her breasts. Never offered me any relief then drove me home, dropped me saying thanks for the yard work you pervert. Did this like six times that summer never once letting me even take my clothes off. Man, I loved it!

    My Son And My Dirty Panties

    I'm a old single mother to a 12-year-old boy. I haven't had sex or dated anyone in the last three years. Not only am I pretty busy, but I'm also very fat and unattractive, pretty butch-looking. Of course I don't like it, but it is what it is. Two weeks ago, I was putting dirty laundry from the hamper to wash and I noticed some white stains on my blue cotton panties. They looked like cum. I was surprised, sure I masturbate often (the only way I get off lately) but never in my underwear, and my cum is pretty much see-through. I had seen such stains often over the last year, but always on my son's own underwear and bed sheets. So I knew he was going through puberty, having wet dreams and masturbating, but obviously this was different. I shuddered when I thought that my son might have used my panties to jerk off. But I soon thought better of it. I felt like the last woman in the world anyone would get off on. And it's not like I'm the only woman he sees all day. He goes to school normally and has friends. And a phone with Internet access. I told myself maybe the stains were from a detergent from the last wash, or my son did jerk off in the bathroom but he simply took the first thing from the hamper to clean himself up later.


    A week later, I was putting laundry to wash and I noticed that one of my panties was missing. It was definitely seven pairs when I put them in the hamper earlier that morning, not six. The black ones were gone. I figured I must be mistaken or I dropped them somewhere. I didn't feel like looking so I just put the laundry to wash. My son was in his room then, but I didn't think much of it. Later, I was putting some clothes back in my bedroom closet and I found the missing black panties there, on top of the pile of clothes. Once again, there were white stains on them. My pussy juiced up. I was both weirded out and aroused. It had been so long since any man desired me, and how could they? But that wasn't a man, it was a boy... my boy. My head was spinning.

    The next morning, I decided to test my son. I was telling myself I just had to know for sure, but the truth was I missed the feeling of being desired sexually so much. It was Saturday and he was to be home all day. When he was in the living room watching TV, I casually walked in topless. (He had seen me topless or in a bra a few times before so I figured I could get away with it without making it seem weird or being too obvious, but the last time it happened he was around 10.) As an excuse, I mumbled something about being in a hurry and looking for a bra and a shirt. I tried acting like I wasn't looking at him and wasn't interested but of course I was sneaking peeks to see his reaction. As soon as I walked in his eyes nearly bulged out and I soon saw him adjusting his pants. Poor boy didn't even try to look away, he just stared at my big tits the whole time. My heart was pounding and I got so wet. I let him leer at me for a few minutes before I went back to my room. Almost immediately, I heard fast footsteps and the door to his room closing. I took my pants and underwear off and dropped to the bed butt-naked, furiously rubbing my fat pussy with one hand and groping my own tits with another. My clit was hard and standing up like a tiny prick, my pussy drenched. The thoughts of a man lusting after me, of making a man hard, making him cum, were just driving me crazy. I slipped two fingers into my sopping wet hole and pumped furiously, as I squeezed my left tit hard and leaned my head down to lick my hard nipple. I came hard, squirting all over the bed. I know it's wrong, but ever since then I've been masturbating to it over and over.

  • My Daughter Sighed As I Came Through The Back Door

    It was a beautiful, crisp day last fall. I'd invited my adult daughter to my home in the country so she could get away, and celebrate her recent divorce from her cheating husband. I had lost my wife in to a tragic illness a few years before. My country home was my escape, the place where I felt as close to whole as was still possible.

    My daughter and I spent the morning picking apples in an old orchard on my property. She ran back to make lunch while I walked the bushel baskets to the house. I would carry one of the heavy baskets and leave it just inside the back door for her to put away, because I didn't want to track mud inside. I'd barely go in, then go back out for the next basket. Again and again because we'd filled ten baskets!

    Before grabbing the last basket, I took my little fishing net and filtered through the stream by the side of the orchard. I filled a plastic bag with tadpoles, which I figured she could take back to the city to show the students she taught. Yes, I was proud that my daughter was teacher of the year at a Christian elementary school!

    With just the tadpoles in hand, no more bushel baskets, I came through the back door, walked into the house, and sat on the sofa. My daughter sighed, because now I'd tracked a mess into the house.

    She was happy about the tadpoles I'd given her, though. It was the start of a beautiful weekend of father-daughter bonding.

    I Fell Into The Same Sex Trap.

    My husband and i got married a little over a year on the day of his 61st birthday. He is the product of a second divorce. He has a son who is now 25 that have been living in another section of the house that have added on to his father's property. He have been hitting on me the moment i came into his father's life and for that i think he has absolutely 'no respect for either me or his father. I tried to get along with him as best as i can but after i get to know him better i realize the trap i found myself in.

    Now let me first say that my stepson likewise his father has very large penis. Literally 2 big cocks. My stepson flashes it every chance he gets as he tries to tempt me. I tried not to look at his huge cock but whenever i saw him by the pool swimming naked when his father his out doing business i steered without him noticing me. Only months after our first anniversary i then got caught off guard. Even though my husband keep warning me to stay away from him he ended up fucking me twice for the first time on the same day. This young man doesn't have time to romance or foreplay he just grab and fuck which is the part that makes me cum quicker than normal. If my husband ever finds this out he would be very disappointed. I am now fucking my stepson more often than my husband. I am a very bad woman.

  • I Have A Very Horny Pussy...

    I am not so sure if any other girl can share in on my experience but after my first period at age 12 i became the most horniest girl alive. The horny feeling at times became uncontrollable and because of that it is now difficult for me not to touch myself. When i turned 13 i surprised myself with what feels like my first cum. I rubbed, massage, and fingered my own vagina until i started trembling after this illustrious feeling of a contraction started pulling everything out of my 180lb body... And yes i'm a fat girl with a meaty vagina.

    I did this for more than 5 years in the secrecy of my own room, and now that i'm 18 the feeling of wanting more is ripping me apart.

    Now nobody can come by my house when i'm alone except my uncle or my cousin his son. The first time my uncle came by when everyone were at home i could tell what would happen after the way i looked at him and he looked back at me. He came by one day when i were alone and nothing surprised me thereafter. I watched him drove up and i went and take off everything except my panty and my bra. He came and saw me like that and started sweating even under the cool air conditioning. He started acting like he didn't realized i wanted him to fuck me out so i grabbed him by his pants and pulled him to my room and landed him my first 'FUCK' as i rode his cock under my 200lb weight. His son who is a year younger than me is a little more advance for his age,.. He too was flattened when i straddled his cock in an old building near to where i live and almost broke it off inside me.

    I fuck him like a thirsty bitch and because there is no one else to fuck me i make sure those 2 cocks don't leave my presence without going balls deep inside my fat pussy. My uncle is now turning me upside down, inside out, doggie style and other position and i love it. I wanted to fuck one of dad's friend who came by with him one day to fix our refrigerator but we were not alone. I gave him the look and he responded with the look i was hoping for.

    Therefore, anytime i get a hold of him his cock his mine. I enjoyed sex and probably way too much but as long as the feeling is there i will ride any stiff cock that cross my path.

    Shared

    My husband shares me with his father. His father is relatively young and in good shape and I like sleeping with him. Twice they have taken turns with me in a threesome. Everything is out in the open. Fucking my husband's father is very much like fucking an older version of my husband. It all started when his wife died and he was depressed. My husband told me to go to him one night. That one night has turned into dozens of nights.

    48yo Divorced Dad With 22yo Gf

    I was listening to a podcast by two bitter women whose husbands had left them. They invite women to record stories about the "fuckwit" (ex-husband) of the week.

    They went off on a 48-year old man who had left his wife and was living with his 22-year-old girlfriend. They were worried for his sons, 18 and 19.

    My parents divorced when I was that age. First and foremost, I would have been happy seeing both my parents happy with new partners, whatever their ages.

    Second, it would have been cool having a young stepmom. We would have enjoyed the same music and activities. Seeing my dad succeed that way would have challenged and motivated me to pursue the youngest and hottest girls.

    Who knows, maybe she would have been open to dad-son three-ways, and if not, then to some secret fun when my dad was not around.

    Every Opportunity To Sniff My Motherinlaw's Bum

    I have fabricated opportunities to covertly sniff my motherinlaw's ass.

    She always wares leggings that flatter her bum, and I can't help myself.

    I take the chance for instance, when we are near eachother and have to both bend over at the same time, like picking a few things up off the floor, or in one instance, crawlingbehind her into the crawl space in her loft.

    There is pretty much always other people around, but I've gotten in 3 deep inhales of her Fem bum scent in the past 3 years.

    Doesn't happen as often as I'd like.

    Sometimes I think she has noticed and lets me do it. She seems more touchy feely with me than before.

    I've also sniffed her dirty panties and came on her clean ones, so my dried cum gets on her pussy.

  • My Moms Ex Boyfriend

    My mom dated this good looking guy for 7 years. Honestly not sure why they broke up but I was always attracted to him. Especially when I’d see him get home from a run and he was all sweaty in his short shorts with his dick outline showing

    I ended up reconnecting with him earlier this year when I saw him at a restaurant I was at. We talked then made plans to meet up and catch up.

    After eating and talking for hours we were standing in the parking lot and I was extremely horny. But I figured I’d best not sleep with my mom’s ex boyfriend.

    A few weeks later I run into him again and this time I jokingly say should we go back to your place. Some how I ended up getting naked with my mom’s ex boyfriend.

    As he’s stripping to his Calvin Klein briefs and I’m in just my thong can’t control myself and I push him on the bed. Get on top of him and start to make out. I could feel his dick getting hard in his briefs.

    I pulled off his briefs and finally got to see that dick I always saw outlines of. It was perfect to me.

    As I laid there after sex with his cum in my pussy he said that was great but it feels so wrong. After that I got up to go pee and get dressed.

    As I’m getting dressed and he’s laying there naked he says we definitely can tell anyone about this. Then asks if I want to come over again sometime