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Funny As Fuck
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Gay Male / 70
Never For One Minute Did I Plan On Having A Wife In My Life
In November 2003 I got a call from a young woman who worked for me. She was detained in the county jail for DUI, for assaulting a Peace Officer and for peeing in the drunk tank. At the hearing the judge had put her on 20K bail, and an order to surrender herself to court to plead guilt or innocence. I half hung up, why was this now my problem?
I went down to the lock up and she was sitting looking like shit warmed over. Hung over. I posted bail, and took her to my house and straight into a shower. After getting her cleaned up and fed I gave her the interrogation. I wanted to know, every last detail of what happened. In short, she was DUI, no question on that one, she fought the Peace Officer and punched him in the nose and gave him a bloody nose, as to peeing in the drunk tank, she refused to use the toilet and squatted and peed on the floor in front of her 'best friends and neighbors' in the tank, and several Police.
I got her a good lawyer, goal was to have her released on her own recognizance, serve XX days of community service, surrender her license for a year. She got two years supervised probation, home detainment and 240 hours of community service working as a janitor in the women's sector of the county jail. They dismissed the pee incident as not being relevant.
I kept her at home, where I could keep an eye on her. She cleaned up and without anywhere to go or anything to do she did online classes. She insisted on showering in my shower and she refused to cover herself. I had her learn to cook using YouTube and bought her lounging wear. When she went to the county jail for her community service she had to wear lock up gear, no pockets, and cotton panties. It was months before things were civil and she started to understand the trouble she was in.
Two years went by slowly, one day at a time. By the time she was there a year she didn't walk around naked and combed her hair and shaved her legs and armpits and used makeup. We watched TV together, and we had long talks about her future. She had mastered some dishes and she no longer resisted doing housework. She started to look pretty.
The day came when she had completed her community service and her home detention. She easily surrendered her ankle bracelet and asked me to take her to eat Italian. She asked me if she had to move out and I told her no, she could stay as long as she got a job and kept the house clean. After dinner she asked me to take her to the mall and she bought a new nightgown and underwear, which she modeled for me later. She asked if she could move into my room with me.
We had sex that night, it lasted a long time, I never really focused on how hungry she was. She didn't get a job at first, she just spent her days being 'free'. She asked me if I was going to marry her or if she had to live like that, a live in. I told her for now she was a live in, until she proved she was worthy. She had moved into my room and my bed and for a good six weeks we had sex every night. She surrendered everything, no question, no restriction. She cut out or printed out pictures of wedding bands and left them in my briefcase. She had towels made up, with HIS and LIVE IN. She told me she didn't know how long she could hold out not getting pregnant.
I married her five years after she was 'freed' from her sentence. By then she was nursing a baby. I'm an old man now turning 70 and she's barely turning forty. She never did get a job worth a damn, she didn't want to leave 'home'. To my knowledge she went on the wagon and has not had any alcohol. She's a good driver and a good mother and a decent housekeeper.
Well that's all I have to say, I made a decision one night without thinking and I've had a 'wife' for twenty years to prove it. So much for being a confirmed bachelor.
I went down to the lock up and she was sitting looking like shit warmed over. Hung over. I posted bail, and took her to my house and straight into a shower. After getting her cleaned up and fed I gave her the interrogation. I wanted to know, every last detail of what happened. In short, she was DUI, no question on that one, she fought the Peace Officer and punched him in the nose and gave him a bloody nose, as to peeing in the drunk tank, she refused to use the toilet and squatted and peed on the floor in front of her 'best friends and neighbors' in the tank, and several Police.
I got her a good lawyer, goal was to have her released on her own recognizance, serve XX days of community service, surrender her license for a year. She got two years supervised probation, home detainment and 240 hours of community service working as a janitor in the women's sector of the county jail. They dismissed the pee incident as not being relevant.
I kept her at home, where I could keep an eye on her. She cleaned up and without anywhere to go or anything to do she did online classes. She insisted on showering in my shower and she refused to cover herself. I had her learn to cook using YouTube and bought her lounging wear. When she went to the county jail for her community service she had to wear lock up gear, no pockets, and cotton panties. It was months before things were civil and she started to understand the trouble she was in.
Two years went by slowly, one day at a time. By the time she was there a year she didn't walk around naked and combed her hair and shaved her legs and armpits and used makeup. We watched TV together, and we had long talks about her future. She had mastered some dishes and she no longer resisted doing housework. She started to look pretty.
The day came when she had completed her community service and her home detention. She easily surrendered her ankle bracelet and asked me to take her to eat Italian. She asked me if she had to move out and I told her no, she could stay as long as she got a job and kept the house clean. After dinner she asked me to take her to the mall and she bought a new nightgown and underwear, which she modeled for me later. She asked if she could move into my room with me.
We had sex that night, it lasted a long time, I never really focused on how hungry she was. She didn't get a job at first, she just spent her days being 'free'. She asked me if I was going to marry her or if she had to live like that, a live in. I told her for now she was a live in, until she proved she was worthy. She had moved into my room and my bed and for a good six weeks we had sex every night. She surrendered everything, no question, no restriction. She cut out or printed out pictures of wedding bands and left them in my briefcase. She had towels made up, with HIS and LIVE IN. She told me she didn't know how long she could hold out not getting pregnant.
I married her five years after she was 'freed' from her sentence. By then she was nursing a baby. I'm an old man now turning 70 and she's barely turning forty. She never did get a job worth a damn, she didn't want to leave 'home'. To my knowledge she went on the wagon and has not had any alcohol. She's a good driver and a good mother and a decent housekeeper.
Well that's all I have to say, I made a decision one night without thinking and I've had a 'wife' for twenty years to prove it. So much for being a confirmed bachelor.
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