We've all had them - those truly hateful embarrassing moments, caught with your finger up your nose, or snooping through a medicine cabinet, sneezing snot all over a fellow passenger, or realizing you forgot to set the parking brake after your car rolls into a gully, or needing to wrap your jacket around your waist when your period unexpectedly started when you were wearing white pants. This is the place to chronicle those most embarrassing moments so we can laugh at it together. Let the whole world know your bad habits and when you got caught committing them.

I was a soldier. I was stationed at a base outside a small township. Me and a few others made friends with a strange chick who called herself Fatty Snax. I don't know why she called herself that. Maybe she was fat at one time, she never said. She was a tad on the thick side but no where near fat. Probably one of the prettiest women I have ever seen. Beautiful, flawless white skin, blue black hair, blue eyes, perfect teeth. She never wore make up, she sure didn't need it.

One day we came in from out in the field. I was sick something aweful. Must have been a bad C rat. Yeah, that's how long ago! Probably those beans and motherfuckers. I wouldn't feed those to the enemy but some guys liked them.

After we cleaned and stowed our gear it was party time. I wasn't gonna go but the party was at Fatty Snax's place. No one in their right mind would miss that! It was always strange because Fatty wasn't into guys. she prefered women...and whiskey. But her parties were awesome.

I sat on the sofa, nursing a beer that got to warm, watching everyone get blitzed. Fuckers were sleeping in the latrine, on the patio and there were some on the front porch. Even Fatty disappeared.

I was getting ready to get up and leave when Fatty busted out of her bedroom,naked. Man she had an awesome body. Perfect titties and silky hair on her pussy. She looked around and said, I'm gonna fuck something! I guess the dildo she had in her hand was just enough to get her itching. Everyone was out cold, except me.

She walked over to me and asked, are you sober enough to fuck? She didn't have to ask, I already had a hard on. I thought we were gonna head for her rack but she pulled own my pants and boxers and pushed me back on the sofa. She said we don't have time to travel and she plopped down on my hard dick like she had radar in her pussy.

She liked to tore me up, but she had a massive orgasm and that caused me to nut . She must have been really drunk because when she sat up and smiled an looked at me she had a bobble head. And she was green. Oh no, I'm about to pay for this fuckin'. But she stood up, unsteady as hell and she farted, real long and loud. That long fart ended with a "PLOP"
She walked back to her room as I was leaning forward to grab my pants and pull them up. OH FUCK, I found the PLOP!
Right there on the floor, between my legs, was a big turd, RIGHT THERE ON THE FLOOR!, just missing my pants. Fatty Snax almost shit in MY pants. How the fuck would I ever be able to explain that?

Like I said, you never ever want to miss a party at Fatty Snax's place.

I still live with my parents and have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. So our sex life is very good. He stays the night with me a few times a week since he lives with friends. He’s 3 years older then me.

This happened last week. He stayed two nights in a row so obviously we were going to have sex each night. I sleep in just bikini panties and a shirt, he sleeps in just tighty whities. I think they are actually cute on him lol.

So it was around 6pm the second night he was here, before it was time to eat I was so horny and just craving dick bad. I had him follow me into the laundry room. I pulled his shorts down, then his tighty whities and took his dick into my mouth.

I’ll be honest, his dick is really nothing special. He’s a little over 5 inches long, a decent girth and uncut. He’s also very hairy around his dick too, never grooms his pubic hair which I’m find with a bush.

So I was sucking his dick, you tonguing under his foreskin. This is the first uncut dick I’ve had. My mom walks in! There was clothes that needed put in the dry. She looks down at me and just says my name out of surprise. All while I got my boyfriends dick in my hand and mouth. I take my mouth off of him and stand up. He’s still standing there with his dick out.

My mom tells me to finish him, don’t give the poor guy blue balls. She walks out and shuts the door. I was super embarrassed but my boyfriend wasn’t. He guided my back down to his dick, I made him cum and swallowed.

He went to the bath to clean his dick while I went into the kitchen. My mom bluntly asks me did you swallow? I said yes and she said good no mess then.

Then she says my boyfriend has a small dick. I already knew that but I’m small framed so it’s plenty for me. And she says it’s very hairy. Tells me my dad is why bigger and he trims or shaves. Like I wanted to know that. I already see my dad in his tighty whities in the morning and before bed.

This past year for my birthday, a bunch of my girlfriends and I got together and rented a couple hotels rooms at a resort for the weekend. No husbands.

We had been drinking a bunch of wine and someone starting talking about a dare called the towel drop. Where you answer the door in just a towel and let it fall off in front of the delivery guy. Anyway, we ordered some pizza and the girls started talking me in to it. They all agreed it would just be some teenage kid, he would get an eye full and it would be something we could all laugh about. I wasn’t too sure about it, but finally agreed.

When the knock came at the door, I downed my glass of wine for more courage. I opened the door, but was going to back out when I saw a twenty something guy standing there. One of the girls grabbed my towel and pulled it off, I could hear them cracking up. The door automatically closed behind me and I dropped the money all over the floor. To make matters worse, there was a group of young guys standing in the hallway staring at me with the guy from the front desk.

I turned around and started pounding on the door. It felt like an hour but was probably just a minute. I looked over and one of the guys was filming me with his phone and the pizza guy was standing there with his mouth wide open. I realized I wasn’t covering myself, so I started trying trying to cover myself and knock at the same time. The girls finally opened the door and took a picture when they did. I ran inside.

I never looked at the picture and couldn’t look at the front desk guy the rest of our time there. Also, the group of guys stayed right next to us and I had to ride the elevator with them a couple times and see them at the pool where they all stared at me and smiled.

  • When I was 15 I got caught by my friends mom. We were naked in his bedroom, he was on top of me pumping my asshole with his big cock. He was 18 and had been fucking me for over a year but this time he was grunting really loudly and she came in and saw us. He just kept pumping and then came inside me while she was standing there. He made me do it when I was younger and I just let it keep happening, he was 3 years older than me and bigger but I was so embarrassed that this woman I saw naked a couple of times and wanted so badly thought I was gay. I guess then I was but her son and 3 other guys later were the only guys. After that it's been all girls. I still live next door to her, her son is away at college and I still want to fuck her but know I'd never stand a chance especially now.

    Drunk Barefoot King

    On Halloween I was having Lunch at Burger King and then in comes a group of Court Jesters carrying their King who was wearing nothing but a Robe and the Burger King Crown, holding a Scepter and his Throne was a Toilet.

    The King was also barefoot and he had what looked like his underwear around his ankles and oh my god the moment this asshole came in I couldn't tell what smelled worse his feet or the shit he was taking in the restaurant as I can see everyone in the restaurant either laughing or groaning in disgust seeing a grown man sitting on the toilet in a restaurant wearing only a Crown, Robe, and his Underwear.

    Then King Feet got off his Porcelain Throne without wiping his own ass and pulled up his underwear; dear God help us if anyone saw his Penis. He then stuck his barefoot in the toilet and everyone in the restaurant was showing disgust as Burger King employees began yelling at King Feet and his Court Jesters to get the Hell out of Burger King as they were violating Health Violations.

    Then King Feet took his foot out of the Toilet and began to Smell His Fucking Feet in the damn restaurant as other diners were really getting sickened. Then the Jesters carrying King Feet accidentally dropped King Feet onto my table knocking over my food and worst off all toilet water Spilled out and went everywhere soaking me and several other diners as now this Burger King officially stunk like Feet and Shit Toilet Water.

    Then King Feet recovered from the embarrassing Fall as he now had his hands on my Whopper as he put his Foot in my Whopper and Sucked his Toes on my Whopper. I was so pissed I took the King's Scepter and hit him with it as he slipped and fell on his own toilet water and then hit his head on his Toilet Throne as Burger King employees grabbed and then began to drag this drunk, half naked ass buffoon out of Burger King.

    My Halloween was officially Ruined but Ding Dong the Burger King is Dead.

  • since lockdown i`ve became quite lazy in what i wear around the house sometimes i would only wear a house coat all day or a summer dress have not worn underwear for months now i live with my son (16) and my daughter (10) (no husband) over the last week or so i have noticed my son sneaking a look at my body and to be honest its giving me a tingle, when i`m in the garden i have started to flash the people who may walk past yesterday i was sitting there in the sunshine eyes closed dress pulled high pussy on show to all whe i got a tap on the shoulder i jumped with a start legs closed, it was 1 of my sons friends he was smiling and just asked if josh was in i told him to go straight in , i then noticed he had his phone in his hand, i dont know if he took pictures or even a video,
    the thought of pictures of my body being passed to all of my sons friends might be embarrassing but it also excites me

    I once had slipping pills mixed in my drink in a party and woke up later laying on the floor naked with everyone looking at me. A week later someone sent me a video clip with four guys giving me oral sex. The girls that had been there told me I was so drunk I took my clothes off myself and seemed happy it happed to me.

    I have a pretty easy job that I can do from home. I do cad work to spec from company enineers and customers. I'm very good and efficient so it's a secure way to earn a living. I also have a separate workshop whaere I have a few machines I use to create my own designs.

    My neighbor is an older lady who lives alone and I help her with some minor maintenance and yard work frequently.
    She's very active and keeps herself in good shape, still looks nice in a modest two piece swim suit. She has two daughters who live out of town and they don't get home very often.

    When it's nice out I usually join her on her lanai to watch tv or just talk half the night. She told me she was planning to sel her house and move toa local retirement community. One of her daughters was coming in to help her dispose of her lifetime of collections and memories.

    A few days later she came in to my shop and said her daughter would be a few days late and ask if I could help her get started. Sure, I said, I need a few hours to finish my work and I'd be right over.

    After we worked a few hours boxing up things to go to storage it was time to go relax on the lanai. As we sat there sipping on wine coolers she looked at me very serious and said, I want you to fuck me. I almost dropped my glass. I had never thought of having sex with some one as old as my grandma. I mean, she was still built really good and everything she had was in the right places, but she was till ages older than me. She knew I was shocked and not too keen on sticking my dick in her. She patted me on the arm and said, just think about it.

    I was busy for a few days and as soon as I was free I popped in to see her. She was wearing flimsy shorts and a wifebeater. Don't know what came over me but I said in my best cowboy drawl, Ma'am, I come to give you a fuckin'.

    Oh, she said, I have the perfect place ready in the loft. The loft was light and airy an gave a view of the whole first floor and the back yard. I undressed her and laid her down on the day bed. She watched as I pulled my clothes off. I bent down and started to eat he pussy, I didn't believe she would get very wet , but she did. Don't worry about me having an orgasm, I just want to feel your dick in me. I went as slow as I could so she could enjoy it as long as I was able.

    I could feel her getting more and more energetic, she was pushing her mons into me harder and harder trying to get as much dick as she could. Finally I heard her making small quick moans and that triggered me in to thrusting faster and harder to catch up and I was just ..(continue confession)

    I was masturbating at an adult book store 4 months ago. While I had my pants around my ankles and my dick out my briefs the woman who cleans walked in on me! All she said was oh oops sorry. She even looked at my dick and smiled! I promptly put my dick back in my briefs, pulled my pants up and left

  • I just tried to suck myself off and ended up jizzing all over my face and in my mouth. I usually like it when guys cum in my mouth or on my face. It turns out I don’t like it when it’s my own semen.
    I feel gross.