I Can Feel It Getting Worse

As much as the title makes it seem like I’m turning into a zombie I’m not. Or maybe I am.

I’ve always been a bigger girl not super heavy but above average, your classic chubby girl. I never really had issues with food. My mom was always skinny and had me on diet tabs through Highschool but it never really helped. I got a boyfriend and we moved in together after high school. We had 2 kids. It was shortly after I had my daughter and was at my heaviest ever (250 pounds) that I started working full time and with working full time came me being on my feet for 8+ hours a day so I was getting in steps and burning calories. Then I got promoted and got to be the only person there when people called off. So I ended up being at work for sometimes over 16 hours at a time and I wouldn’t bring any food. Slowly this began to be a daily occurrence. I just wouldn’t eat, then I’d pull a double and sleep when I got home so I’d end up going days without food and I started dropping the weight. Then regulars at work began to notice and make comments. It felt good knowing I looked “better” but I also knew it wasn’t a healthy way to be losing weight.

I started to think. How bad does something you’re struggling with have to get out of hand before you don’t have control of it anymore? I’m conscious enough to know I shouldn’t be doing it. But the rewards are too good to ignore.

I had lost 60 pounds and was loving how I looked. Then life happened and I was out of work for a little. I kept the same eating scheming I had before and I was still losing. I slowly started eating regularly again and…I gained 10 pounds.

I’m working again and I recently haven fallen back into the same habits. Not eating all day but I feel like it’s getting worse.

Comments

MartinMcFly

by MartinMcFly on Nov 14, 2023 at 10:39 PM

I've also struggled with weight issues for many years, and have recently been having success with intermittent fasting. There are several ways to do it, and based on what you've said here, it seems like one of the ways could fit very well with your lifestyle. Good luck, and be well! I sincerely hope things work out for you.

(0)  (0)
Anonymous

by Anonymous on Nov 15, 2023 at 4:30 PM

Not sure what you are expecting in responses on this site, but honestly, this strikes me as very genuine and wholesome. I mean, not your predicament, please don't misunderstand. But if you've visisted the site much, you know the stories and comments are anything but wholesome.

So I just wanted to wish you well. I was relieved to see the other commenter with genuine advice and good wishes. I've no advice of my own to add, only that except in dreams we are never truly free. Life is transient, y'know? Live your life how you will, subject to no whims but your very own. I'm not a good person to be giving advice.

Regardless, best of luck, and good health to you.

(5)  (0)

Comment this

Can't read the image? Click here to refresh