I Am Still Learning To Embrace My Lesbian Self

I am one of the kids my mother has with several different men. She is undocumented, and to my knowledge so was my father. For whatever reasons I inherited brains, not so much looks like one of my sisters. In the sixth grade I won a contest put on by the local McDonalds and won a scholarship to St. Mary's School for Good Girls, usually not attended by girls from my neighborhood. Since I was born here I have automatic citizenship, so technically not a Mexican.

I did well in school without trying, and I graduated with honors and still a virgin. Like I said, I didn't get the looks, my sister got that. I got a scholarship for underprivileged Mexican kids and went to a Catholic College. By the time I graduated I had so much religion I thought I was a Nun or something. I worked during college with the troubled teen programs in my neighborhood, lots of girls got pregnant. That's where I got both a desire to work to prevent pregnancies with young girls, and also to prevent abortions. I thought of myself as a lay Num performing social services.

I got caught up at a party at my sister's and ended up losing my virginity and getting pregnant. Who he was is still a mystery, but he is not Mexican, he is white. My daughter is pretty fair skinned compared to anyone else in my family. I blew it off, I was never interested in finding the father or having to deal with a man. A friend of mine from college opened a beauty salon and she invited me to live with her. That's where things go out of order. To her living together meant 'living' together in the carnal sense. I admit I got caught unprepared for that.

I heard over and over of how she had always telegraphed to me that she was in love with me. I didn't get the telegraphs. How she always knew I was in love with her. I don't remember that part. In any event, living with her was 'living' with her and learning to be sexually intimate with her. Whatever I should have learned instead of going to religion, she taught me first hand. Girls do do that, and do do this, and do do it. I admit that it took me several months to get more or less comfortable with 'living' with her like that. I guess my problem is that I liked it.

Now, which is five years later, I am fully on that side of the street with her. I may not have been the hottie for the boys, but I attracted girls. I've found out that a couple of my best friends in school also 'live' with another girl. And that goes for a couple of friends from college. I seemed to have just gravitated that way. There seems to be quite a few of girls like that. I mean Mexican girls from the hood where I grew up who liked girls. No wonder they made it through school not getting pregnant.

To get back to my purpose, I work full time with an organization that works with younger girls to avoid getting pregnant. We start talking to them, with their parent's permission, in the sixth and seventh grade. NO SEX is the first method, but in reality that doesn't stop them. So we teach them about birth control, supply condoms, and with their parent's permissions help them afford birth control prescribed by a doctor. If a girl gets pregnant we help her with her pregnancy, and if she is open to the idea, an adoption. If not help her learn to take care of her child. Having a child myself makes it easier to talk with them while teaching them how to nurse properly. (I had help from a nurse at the birthing center).

Of course the method I use to avoid pregnancy also works, sleep with a girl. But most of the girls I talk to are boy crazy.


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