This category is for confessing to things that are just plain 'ol "funny as fuck." If it won't make us piss ourselves with laughter, it simply doesn't belong here. Knock yourself out you funny shit..

My House My Rules

I am blessed that my parents are well of and was able to move out after high school and move in to my own home. I work for my dad long hours school was never for me. I have a girl that I kind of see of and on named Veronica. I call her Vero she lives a few hours away and it’s a weird relationship but it works for us. She comes to visit we fuck we the fuck again and she leaves. I have a couple of cousins that are a bit older and have no direction. There parents are also in a good situation but they choose to fuck around and there parents let them. Ba led habits they drink and smoke sleep in can’t hold down a job. I was close with them growing up but we have grown apart. My cousin Steve asked to stay with me for a couple of months while he got on his feet. He and his girlfriend Dee. Dee is a cut blond skinny small tits bubble butt. Has really nice dick sucking lips. After 2 months of there shit no money coming in my cousin would head out for the evening and Dee would stay home smoke weed and just lay around. She was so high one night she was just in a daze. I walked over and started to fondle her she said nothing just looked at me. I had her stand up and as she did I was able to play and slide my hand down her backside slid my finger across her pussy lips and pushed into her ass. She didn’t say anything so I pushed it and slid my dick in her mouth. She sucked it like it was a live or die situation. I was honest and told her she sucked a mean cock. I told her you can stay as long as you like as long as we fuck. 3 months later Steve was going to move to the coast and Dee said she didn’t want to go and was going to live with her mom. Stave left and Dee stayed and she kept her side of the deal. A month later after Steve had left Dee was still living her living off me and taking my balls. She actually enjoyed anal and I was enjoying fucking her. She asked if her friend and her bf could move into for a few months. I was hesitant but eventually caved. Hard to say no to a women who has her tiny ass cheeks spread and is asking to get fucked and all she needs is a favor. So this lady who is probably on her mid 30s named Nanette and her husband Tony move in. They are from out of state and new Dee from when she was young. Apparently they are her parents friends. Tony was a worker went and got a job landscaping and busing tables in the evening. Nanette was a short brunette tiny pocket sized women. Maybe 5 foot tall 115 lbs. really nice quiet hard worker. They came out her to start a new life. I found out later that Tony had cheated and it was his idea to pick up and leave. All I know is that every night I came home the house was clean and dinner was made. It was great Dee was getting a little irritated or jealous and threw a fit and said she was moving out. She moves out Nanette and Tony stayed for a while. Tony moved about 3 months later. He found out that the girl he had fucked back home was expecting and it was his. Nanette was ready for the taking and I fucked her. She rage fucked me let me in very hole as small as she was the sex was amazing. She can take some dick. That was a year ago Nannette doesn’t work anymore she is taking care of our 9 week old. From Vero to Dee to Nanette what a while wind. While all 3 where fun Net her body her attitude towards sex is why she is still living with me. She works hard around the house and fucks my brains out. Her words work out clean make dinner and fuck. Good modo

  • Taking It Out

    During my divorce i wanted to do nothing with none. Found out wife was a lying money spending rag. Things went bad yes and at the end it cost my a little bit of money but i got rid of her. Now upset lonely lost and angry I kept to myself. Sold the old house blocked into a smaller house in a nice neighborhood wanting to start over. All the neighbors were very nice quote and kept to themselves. I have a set of neighbors that the husband and I just don’t see eye to eye on things and I keep away from them or mostly him. He pushes is belies and politics on you and if you say anything contrary to what he thinks your wrong and privileged. I just want to be left alone and check the women that run in the neighborhood. My neighbor right next to me Tom is cool and he hangs out in my garage often. He comes over when I get home and will bring a 6 pack. We laugh and he also enjoys the runners in the neighborhood. He also disliked Ruben the neighbor I dislike as well. He came up when a women went jogging by and sis hello to Tom stopped and Tom introduced her to me. Erica this is Diego Erica was a short long haired brunette small tits and this ass that you could bounce a quarter on. We chatted she said she lived down the street and would see us again. Off she went. Tom looked over and said that was Ruben’s wife. That girl has taken more cock then a whore during fleet week. I absolutely love his analogies. She fucks around on him all the time. Tom said he had seen her before at the park way in the back. It’s quiet and no one ever goes back there. He was walking went up and over the hill and there was a car parked. He got close enough to see a guy sitting on the drivers seat and when he looked closely he could see the top of her head bobbing up and down. He laughed pulled his phone out and showed me a pic and a video. Hard to see who it was u til she finally finished and she sat up and said something to him full face shown. I stopped her next time she was running flirted and got her to stop and chat. Did this over and over got to know her asked her to lunch she kept saying she was married but a little more pressure and she gave in. She agree to come over for lunch after one of her runs. I had the day off it happened. Not sure exactly what she does as she has a flexible schedule. Didn’t matter got her over made my move after a little ass grab I had her bent over facing the couch facing window. Nutted the first time inside and though maybe should have used a condom. Oh well I thought to late now. I sat there massaging her pussy and used the fluid coming from her pussy to slide my finger in and out of her ass. No words where said rubbing her clit herself I got my cock that was hard again and pushed into that sweet tight ass. No facial expression just a load moan and groan. I thought I wish her husband could see her now fucker. I took it out on her ass. I though I possibly hurt her as she finally screamed loud and a short while later piss shot out her pussy and legs shook. All I heard was fuck I needed that. We have be fucking a few times a week now. I let Tom watch the videos we have made. Old perv is pretty cool to hang out with. Gave me the inside to this piece of ass lol

    Caught Her

    I walked into a bar in a town about 30 minutes from where I live to meet a college buddy who was there for a trade show. We met up that night had some drinks and was going to crash with him. As we where leaving I noticed a women sitting at the other side of the bar with a dude. I saw that it was my coworkers wife and she was snuggled up to him and they were obviously on a date. I was going to leave when I told my buddy he said fuck go confront her. I walked tot the bathroom and made my way over to where she was. We had meet a dozen or so times since I hung out with him. She saw me and her demeanor totally changed she pushed the guy away and the guy didn’t know why until she said something to him. He acted like he wanted to tough but I’m a lot bigger then he is I’m like 6 ‘4 230 lbs well built. She is instantly stood up and other stuff and walked me away. I told the little man to sit the fuck down and look away he did as we walked out. She begged not to say anything she tried to explain that it was a dead marriage he cheated as well. Let me explain that Chloe is a dark haired woman pale skin almost Emo thick. Nice rack thick thighs and a matching ass. Many times I looked at her snapped a picture orn2 while we she was in a bathing suite. When she mentioned anything I took her up on it. She left with me leaving the guy at the bar i drove her back to the hotel where in was going to crash with my buddy. She had a mouth full of cock the drive there. She said nothing and my buddy sat and watched as she sucked me before I took her from the back. With no warning my buddy took her mouth and then we switched. She was supposed to be with her sister for a couple of days. For the next couple of days she was fucked just about in every way. Some she liked some she said hurt. The DP was and feels great to us but she said she felt as if she was getting ripped in half. The more she said it hurt the harder we fucked her. Her snap went off and it was the guy from the bar. Apparently she had been seeing him for a couple of months. He stopped bothering her when we sent him the clip of the DP. Since that happened I’m filling her up and are planning another weekend with my buddy. I make sure that I fuck her with ass plug in so she gets used to the DP.

  • My Bad For Sure

    I live on my own after high school I went to work for my parents. School was definitely not for me At 19 I had a small house on one of the properties. My older brother Carl is total opposite of me. Smart was good in school went to college. Absolutely hates getting up early getting dirty. Hey we understood and he wanted to go a different direction. We are very close wasn’t always like this but once we were older he always looked after me. Event after I grew way bigger and stronger than him. We look a lot a like in the face. As I stated earlier I’m way bigger taller muscular just a big frame compared to his 5 foot 10 150 lb body. I stand 6’4 225 lbs to compare. We date and when we are done dating we have a tendency to pass the girl onto one another. He does it more than I do he has a bit more free time to date. He will date this girl for a while he gets bored then has them screw me then he dumps them or juts leaves them with me. I have only done this a few times compared to his dozen times lol. A few times I have gone ahead and hit on them while they still date I can tell when he started to get bored with them. He started bringing them around my place more and more until he finally leaves them at my place and they either go home or get fucked. I did this with Krista and Carey a pair of girls I fucked before he broke up with them. It’s a small town so word gets around. Both let me fuck then as they saw the writing on the wall. I did both for a few weeks before moving on from them. Some are better then others.

    So he starts to see this one girl named Stephanie a dirty blonde brown eyed girl. I check her out when we went out one night. Nice big rack big hips fat ass a thicker girl for sure. Still a slim waist but looks like fun. A few weeks go by and he starts to bring her by the house more and more. Steph kind of gets it she has known him for a while i didn’t know that so while at my place he leaves here with me a few times. We chat we talk really good times and we end up having sex. This happened over a couple of weeks so it wasn’t a here let’s fuck thing it took some time. I assumed my brother was out screwing other girls by now as she was spending a lot of evenings at my place. Watching her undress take her pants off no bra walk around in these sexy as panties was so fucking hot. Her nice innocent personality was taken over by a sex craved fuck demon. Over a couple of weeks I did the I thinkable to that women’s ass mouth and pussy. I kept on seeing here and she never said anything about my brother. Apparently my brother really liked this and one night she tells me that my brother had asked about her moving in with him. Not very smart she blurts out oh we thought you were going to eventually dump me so i have been sleeping with your brother. A short time later I got the call he was pist but I explained that we both thought he was going to dump her onto me and had ended up honking up. I told him I would stop banging her immediately. His response was don’t bother she said that she felt that they had grown apart and she had other feelings. I felt like a huge ass it he understood. Yes I still fuck her.

    My 2 Friends

    We went to a party once and a young girl I worked with sat on my husband’s lap and I knew by the way she was moving she had him hard, my husband is quite large so I could see she was more than enjoying her time on his lap but I also knew I couldn’t get her to get off otherwise my other work friends would see how big he really was.
    She slowly down and I knew he was still hard she got off and straight away my other friend seen the massive buldge, she looked at me and said my turn to sit on his lap.
    I couldn’t stop her she was enjoying herself luckily the others moved to where the birthday cake was being cut.
    I said get off him so he’s not going to be embarrassed, she looked at me and said how could he be embarrassed with something that big.
    When the night was ending she said Carly and me are coming to stay with you for the night, I knew what was going to happen so I said fine as long as you don’t tell anyone?
    She kissed me and said we won’t ever say anything.
    They didn’t know what they were getting themselves into, Carly was the first one my husband took as she started it and was the youngest, I seen my husband absolutely wreck this 22 years old pussy then started on my friend.
    I took Carly to bed to comfort her from what she had just taken, as we just laid in the bed we could hear our other friend getting the best sex she’d ever had, we eventually went to sleep then Carly woke me early hours to say can you hear Jodie making some more noises?
    I patted her on the arm and said maybe you should go and rescue her? She gave me a hug and off she went. 2 minutes later Jodie was laying beside listening to Carly taking a massive dick in her.
    Jodie asked me how on earth do I take that all the time? I pushed her hand and then her head to my pussy, she didn’t even stop she ate me as good as what my husband does.
    An hour later my husband came into bed where Jodie and I were laying, his big dick on display and proud of fucking my 2 friends.
    I went to check on Carly she was laying with her legs open the biggest cream pie I’ve seen and her pussy fully stretched.
    She was so worn out I felt sorry for her but she instigated it, even Jodie said she’d never been fucked that hard before.
    We’re still friends, it’s not very often they stay anymore but when they do I’m back in the spare room.

  • Unbelievable

    No judgement please but for the last year I have been fucking a friends wife. It was a trip we all took shared a house booze was involved I stayed up late she stayed up late I ended up rear ending her that night and it kind of ripped form there. Short tanned all ass thick thighs lets me have it all. Does amazing sexual things that keeps me coming back. Here is the kicker I also try and date and do so. After all she is married but when ever I bring a date around she is always not so nice I get it but gives me shit on the side. She has gone as far as to tell me that I should not date them gets super close and lovey with me. She makes it up by being really slutty wearing my favorite toy she has. She tans and is nice and tanned and has this baby blue j*wel but plug that looks amazing in her hart shaped ass. Her husband works night shift so she can sneak around and play in the evening. She has mentioned that she will never give me up even if she’s caught. Lately it makes me wonder if she is trying to get caught. Just by how she acts or things she doesn’t do. My buddy was complaining to another one of our friends that she seemed cold and has no interest in sex. I got sick with a cold and was down for a day she spent the day sucking the cold out of me. Seriously it was like an 8 hour blow job lots of fluids and lots of head was her cure. I have a good chance at landing a job in Vegas that would make it very difficult to pass. Huge pay increase she knows about it and I have a feeling that when I get the job the shit is going to hit the fan. Would I take her away no. Would I let her go on her own yes. Definitely not going to tell her to come with me. But if she comes on her own and wants to me my fuck doll I’m all for it. I do make her say some nasty shit especially when she is close to cumming. I would never make her do it but i have told her and she agreed to let me have her gang banged. I figure if she agreed to that she would agree to anything I want. Il see what happens I should know about my job this coming week.

    Thick Is Fun

    I live in a quiet established neighborhood on the west coast. Streets are lined with old trees most houses built in the 50s a great place to buy a stater home. That is exactly what I did. I’m on the corner and have a large lot with a small swimming pool spa. One side neighbors are retired and travel often. The other side is a small family Randy Anita and Colin their son who graduated this year and is headed to the Airforce. Randy and Anita are in there mid 40s he keeps quiet doesn’t say much Anita is outgoing very talkative. Randy has the greasy Mexican look I’m not trying to be an ass but gresy hair shoulder length kind of over weight thinks the world of himself. Anita is cute but is thick. I have seen her in shorts and her thighs and ass are big. She has a bit of a pouch around her midsection but in a good thick way. Most the girls I date are the complete opposite usually the small yoga spinner type. Fake boobs and a round ass is what my preferred body type. Usually in the morning before I leave I’d hear them in there house. An argument about who knows what. Seems to be getting worse now that the boy was getting closer to leaving for boot camp. This particular morning I heard him call her a fat ass. Seemed harsh but not my business and I drove off. My job is very flexible and I come home for lunch take an extra long lunch then head back out. This day I was greeted by Anita in the front cleaning her car out in the shade. She had the radio on so she did not hear me pulling in. I parked got out took the opportunity to really check her ass out. She was bent down ass in the air vacuuming the floor board out. Her shorts where nice and snug you could see some cellulite on her thighs and the bottom of her ass cheeks. I was taking a good look and hands notice her looking at me and asked me if I likes to stare. I was so embarrassed I turned beet red. I apologized she laughed an said she knew it was big and ugly. I was walking away when she said that I stopped and remembered her husband had called her a fat ass earlier in the morning. I turned and said I’d be all over it if that was mine. She looked up at me and asked what do you mean. I went for it and said that she had the type of ass that you show off. I’d lick eat and fuck that whenever you wanted. Chubby and thick is something new for me but I didn’t tell her that. I invited her over for lunch she thought about it and I walked over and pulled her by the hand. I asked her to walk in front of me so I could see her ass sway. I started to be a little more forward on my intentions with her. By the time we walked into the kitchen I had pretty much told her that she was going to fuck me. For the first time I ate out a thick women. Not bad her bj skills where good. I ended up taking a very long lunch and fucked Anita into the mattress. She worked part time during the evening and was off days. Putting her mouth pussy and ass to work. I still hear them argue in the morning by the time Randy gets home Anita has been fucked a few times. Anal is not her favorite but I enjoy spending time in her ass so she lets me go to at it. I know she is a bit older but having instant easy pussy next door is nice.

    Getting My Ass Wiped With Another Man's Bare Foot.

    I'm Bob and I recently got fired after asking my Boss to Wipe My Butt after I crapped my pants during a Board Meeting.

    I was drinking away at the bar and then I shit my pants and everyone at the bar could smell as the Bartender asked me to go to the restroom or leave.

    My Friend Fred exited the restroom barefoot and he was in his underwear as the Bartender was shocked and was getting angry as Fred picked his foot off the floor and smelled his feet to everyone's shock and disgust.

    Then I dropped my pants and exposed my dirty unwiped ass after shitting my pants as Fred then put his bare feet in my butt crack and wiped my ass with his feet.

    His feet was covered in my shit as he then began to smell his feet to everyone's shock and disgust

    I then took Fred's Foot and put my nose between his toes and smelled his feet to everyone's horror as the Bartender had enough and told us to leave.

    Oh well at least we gave everyone something to remember.

    It’s Hard To Pass

    I saw a confession on here a while ago about a dude smashing his sister in law for a while. I have wanted to worry this for a while and it’s hard so here it goes. My brother married the girl named Dolores. Curvy long jet black hair 5 foot 5 maybe 160 lbs very pretty face big tits nice chunky ass. My brother is close to 30 Dolores is 27. These 2 should have never married financially they both act is if money grows on trees. My brother and I worked for my dad my brother left to a competitor for more money. This caused a huge riff in the family but gave me a huge pay bump. Dolores worked for a small coffee shop asa barista. I know for a fact that her body count was high always getting asked out and she went out a lot. I stop in and grab coffee and break or lunch from the shop where wage works. So I see her often and she chats me up. I have always admired the size of her tits and ass. No idea how she puts some of her jeans on to be honest. At times she wears leggings and sports major camel toe. A couple of months ago she came over and had this look on her face that she was a bit concerned. She tells me that her and my brother are good but she and him where about short a bit short on there rent. They took a weekend trip and had spent a little bit more and I asked if my brother knew. She said no she had been paying the bills. How much do you need. She tells me it was marginal I asked when I would get it back. She couldn’t answer that so it’s not a loan you want me to give you the money. She got up and had to go back to work. She walks by and says to stop by for lunch. I did so that day came back her shift was over after lunch she sat and said she could pay me back a little at a time. Ok I lend her the money once. She came back a few weeks later asked for more money I lent her the money. I’d stop by a week after to pick up a little cash she had very little. I sat her down and told her that I was not going to be able to lend her any more until at least half was paid. She seemed a little upset I finally tell her what if you let me fuck you and that’s how you can work the debt off. She had a look of disbelief on her face. But your family i quickly responded yes that’s why it can only work with me. She was quiet and asked what would I have to do. I was honest and told her that once a week Il head over to my place after your shift and for that afternoon I can do whatever i want sexually with you. It might be fun you could enjoy it. She very quietly said she was married though. I told her no pressure but she had a debt that she needed help with and I helped her. I said I’m busy with work and have no time to date and could use help. I told her we could start tomorrow afternoon if she wanted. Then the best thing I ever heard. Ok we can start tomorrow afternoon what should I wear or bring. Any toys you like to use and dress normal. She usually dresses a it slutty so I’m good with that. After her shift I met her in the parking lot she drove over to my place a 5 minute drive from my job and her job. In he router she had a vibrator and was wearing and ass plug. Watching her pull her pants down was hot as fuck. She said that she knew anal would be part of the deal so she put it on before she left work. I fucked her with that plug in her ass and it felt tight. We spent close to 3 hours before she had to go. She left full all 3 holes had a deposit. At first it was once a week then after a few weeks she would randomly text me in the evening that my brother had gone out with friends and she had told him she was going out with her sister. Again she would come over make me dinner and let me absolutely pummel her. She more then paid me back and she just kept coming over. It’s been a little over a year they are having problems I’m balls deep almost daily. She is sure that my brother is cheating. I know for a fact that he is he showed me pictures. The girls not as good looking as Dolores but he digs it. I’m sure they heard to divorce and Il probably keep hammering Dolores. Watching her tits sway back and forth while I’m balls deep does it for me.

  • Hard To Stop

    I work for my dad have done so since my sophomore year in high school. It’s a good gig he owns a string of general stores carry liquor hot foods shit like that. He has a total of 7 and all long the coast. I bounce from store to store wherever he needs help. Pays me really good and I benefit from living close to the beach and the girls. Lots of women young older moms wives you name it they come for a vacation I feel them out see if they would go out and I end up fucking them. I try to keep them over the age of 18 but occasionally I think few lie about there age. You can sometimes tell they are young when they can’t suck a dick to save their lives. I’m usually really rough with those. Hammer away make them whimper and stuck finger in there ass. They act so grown up so o show them how a grown women gets fucked. With the married ones I usually use a condom that I know will break or ones that I have poked holes in make sure I blast them. Some I hook up with a few times while they are in town. It’s just amazing how some will let me degrade them do nasty as shit to them and then take a call from there husbands or boyfriends and lie how they are at the beach or headed home. I have only had one 34 year old come back to tell she was pregnant and she was sure it was mine because her husband was overseas in the military. She had the nerve to ask me if I wanted to be in its life. I told her to go home I was sure it wasn’t mine. She left and have never heard from her. This was a few years ago. This last weekend I fucked an 18 year old that acted to immature. Pretty sure it was her very first anal. When she left she could hardly walk. I’m having fun for now and I’m sure Il get hate for this confession but that what this site is for.