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This category is for confessing to things that are just plain 'ol "funny as fuck." If it won't make us piss ourselves with laughter, it simply doesn't belong here. Knock yourself out you funny shit..

- Funny As Fuck -
Straight Female / 56

Giving The Boys A Looksee On Spring Break

When we went down to Daytona for spring break we sat out on the balcony sun bathing our hoo haas. Some of the boys came out to their balcony and we ignored them or smiled.

The sun was hotter than we thought and we got our hop haas sunburnt. One of the boys next door said he had Nivea cream and he would be happy to apply some and give us relief. While the other boys watched on their balconies we had Nivea cream applied on our poor hoo haa.

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# 80987 - by Reba / July 27, 2025
    • - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 37

    In Front Of Everyone We Seem To Not Like Each Other

    My friend had been married to his wife Natalie for years. They met after college and I had known her for a while as well. She know that I know about her past and she doesn’t like that. I was part of her past and it bothered her I was friends with her husband. What last is this you ask. She was a waitress at this little dive bar I’d hang out at while in school next town over. Don’t ge time wrong Nat was and is a good looking girl. She is short 5 foot 2 maybe 140 lbs nice sized tits but her weight is all around her ass and thighs. Nicest ass I ever fucked I tell her when no one is around. She tells me to shut up. You see she’s a couple of years older and at this bar she was always super flirty and the waitresses wore short skirts revealing tops it was a mandatory uniform all the girls wore. She was probably the youngest waitress there out of 8 girls not including the bartenders. We hit on them they always got hit on and some of them would let us but then drinks then eventually we would take them home. It was fun they where older bar flys. Bat being a bit younger she always got hit on. She acts like she hates me now but back then I asked her out took her home and had 3 of us the first time. She was the first girl we ever made air tight. This wasn’t a 1 time thing I’m talking a couple of dozen times in a span of 3 years. There is not one part of Nats body that has not had my cum on it. I tried everything you could possibly do with her. We had her anal ass to mouth double penetration air tight. Some nights I would just have her to myself and go at her ass and mouth. When I left school we kept in touch but moved on and started dating. Then a couple of years later she shows up at a party with my buddy. The look on her face I didnt say anything until we where alone. She said that she really likes him and didn’t want me to fuck it up. We made a deal and i was balls deep in her ass a few hours later. She admitted that i have been the only guy that has ever been able to make her squirt from regular vaginal sex and anal. So when I slammed into her that night and she squirted all over my bed I knew I had her. They got married she walked down the aisle with my cum in her ass. Something blue was a garter and an ass plug that I gave her. She pulled it out at the reception and handed it over to me. She acts as if she hates me makes a really good front. With all out friends around she makes crude comments towards a few of us. He is happy so we leave it. We play grab ass when we are alone. If we are hanging out together my finger smells like her pussy or ass. She let me slip it in one night while everyone was outside and her husband less then 10 feet and a slider and a thin wall the only thing separating us. I told her that my old college roommate was coming in to town and mentioned that I was happy to have him stay a few days and she was going to need to take a small trip for work. She just nodded and spent 2 days re in-acting out old college days. She went home with a sore mouth and swollen pussy. It’s been years she hasn’t had a good dp in a while last week when she came by my job site trailer she mentioned that she had not been double stuffed in a while and was due. It’s funny to see how she acts when we are alone. She has admitted that she care a lot about me. I figured she did since she lets me treat her like a lice of meat. She’s a good fuck and I’m just happy to have this ass for as long as I have had access to it.

    3
    # 80797 - by Paul / July 21, 2025
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 26

    We Know Each Other So Well

    I’m dating my buddies sister again kind of. When we where young we my buddy any I 17 his sister and her friend where 15 we used to stay home when ever they would sleepover. My buddy and I would take one of the 3 or 4 girls that would sleep over and we would teach them and show them about sex. Their parents would often go out or have people over and get a little tipsy. Summers at their house was fun. Anytime they had a sleep over we would get lucky. There was nights where we would fuck all of the girls at different times. His sister was off limits kind of. I’d always make sure she wasn’t left out. She learned early what another girls pussy and ass tastes like. Tamra his sister and her best friend Carie who was a little chubby would go at it. Those 2 liked getting filled together. Most of the time we didn’t see each other we would pick what girls we wanted. I always gave him first pick since it was his house and I knew he wouldn’t pick his sister the one I wanted. Tamra was slim and had perky tits curly brown hair these legs that came to a perfectly round ass. There was nothing she wouldn’t do. When we graduated and I went off to school everything kind of stopped and when I moved back my buddy was off in the military and Tamra was dating some guy and had been for a while. We ran into each other at a bar one night. He must know about our history and special friendship because he was not happy to see me and hated Tamra’s reaction when she saw me. It was weeks later when saw each other again and we quickly picked up where we left off. She was interested in her bf when I was not around but quickly admitted that the strong feelings where there when she saw me. The sex was great we knew what we each liked our kinks she never forgot she just got better. Pussy tasted great ass was good long legs didn’t take long as we both needed it. Funny how shit works out. When her brother found out he said he figured we like eventually date after all the time I railed her when we where younger. He knew all along and let us.

    1
    # 80795 - by Darren / July 21, 2025
    • - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 23

    He Absolutely Hated Me

    When I lived with my parents there was a girl who lived a few doors down from them who I went to school with. Her dad and her lived there her dad and mom were separated. She was a good looking thin girl small boobs a little round ass and some long thin legs. We both lied each other and we ended up dating for a bit. Yes I banged the daylights out of her. She would wrap her legs around me she weighed nothing son could pick her up and fuck her in a standing position. She got a bit clingy so I kind of dumped her. I was interested in a girl that worked at this deli id go into and was texting and hooking with the deli girl. Before I broke it off literally the day before I was at her place her dad was gone during the day so we were going at it. I have this thing that I like to grab her head and shove my cock down her throat and cum down it. I have down this to almost all the girls I hook up with. It’s rough and i like it so I do this she knows I’m going to do it I cum and blast her she pulled back and half went into her mouth half hit her cheek and the side of her face. I got up and she went to ge tip and clean up. Just then her dad walked in. She had this surprised look her dad gave us the look I said good afternoon and headed out. I broke it off the next day. She hated me for a while but eventually I’d come over and she would hate fuck me. It was and off on relationship until that night. 2 years after we started this hook up relationship her mom came back into the picture. I got what caused them to split and apparently her mom who looked just like her daughter just with a pair of fake tits had cheated on her dad with a dude she worked with and with a guy from the gym. She was banging 2 different guys that were not her dad. She got caught he went through her phone and he saw a lot. It’s a block party I show up late I see my off and on hook up standing looking at people lighting fireworks. She was by herself she was wearing this summer dress short enough that I walked over to her came up from behind and slid
    My hands up the dress squeeze her ass and slide a finger in her ass. I tell her if she’s going to give it up to me tonight. All I heard was damn we have never met but maybe. She turns it’s dark it’s her mom who looked I apologized she laughed and said it was ok. Her daughter had good taste. I flirted back we talked I followed her over to her place we walked into the den and we didn’t have much time but I spun her around bent over a bit and slid inside. She was not as tight as her daughter but it felt ok. I then put my head between her cheeks and push in. Her ass was tight real tight and I fucked her Ila’s she rubbed herself. Again I’m ready to cum spin her around push her down and in my dick goes into her mouth. It looked like it was caked in brown pudding with out hesitation she clean up made a mess again in walks her husband we are standing there I say goodbye and walk out she has shit smeared on her face. I hear them argue she denied everything. We like what we do to each other. She is in no way wifey or gf material. I fuck her use her and send her home. Her daughter and I don’t hook up anymore. But i have her mom

    4
    # 80659 - by GreekNick / July 16, 2025
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 50

    Family And Friends

    A few years ago I went camping with my family and friends this is 100% a true story. I married the love of my life coming up to 10 years ago very soon we came from a small Australian suburb where we all lived for about 25 years the dating pool was pretty small I had a really great female friend who was much younger than I and was more like a sister to me than anything else.We used to drink heavily together and she would get black out drunk and I would look after her,She use to try and kiss me but I would deny her because I had a hot blonde girlfriend who was her best friend ,One drunken night I put her to bed at her house where she pulled me onto her and kissed me hard I finally gave I and we shagged for hours. I went home in the early hours and slept my hangover off. I spent the next day with my girlfriend in her little granny flat drinking smoking and fucking she was hot and dirty in bed.Jumping to now things ran there natural course over the years my ex girlfriend became my sister in law I’ll call her blondie and my best friend slash occasional sex buddy became my wife’s best friend.Blondie had a daughter who was 20 years old now and smoking hot and very much like her mother in every way,She knew that her mother and l were old flames and constantly pumped me for information and stories from when we were younger she also used to babysit my kids sometimes and I ended up giving her a full time job in my business.We worked away quite often and alcohol and poor decisions led her and I into having a brief affair and let’s say she was something else way better in bed than her mother and much more adventurous and fun to be around,My wife was always suspicious that we were fooling around but couldn’t provide any proof but it did make us stop.That’s how at 45 years old I found myself sitting in front of a fire up late drinking with the four women from my past as everyone else had gone to bed.We were all laughing at having a great time and I thought fuck me I’ve had a great life nobody would believe if I told them my story I am always told I am a funny guy and that must be my super power because I’m not handsome I am well hung but that doesn’t count for much so that’s my confession for now cheers

    5
    # 80657 - by Lv / July 16, 2025
    • - Funny As Fuck -
    Bi-Sexual Male / 43

    I Did It Part 2

    Last Friday, I posted that I had finally done it, I met the mailman at the door, wearing a pair of panties with a hard on. He sized me up and said he would be back on Monday.

    My question was whether a blowjob was enough or if I should let him fuck me.

    Over the weekend, I went to the store and bought a new pink thong with bow on it. I was up early and couldn’t wait for delivery time which is usually around 11:30.

    At 10 o’clock my doorbell rang. I looked out the window and they stood my mailman. He had taken a vacation day and came early.

    I opened the door and let them in, he gave me a big hug and called me, sweetheart. Two hours later he left he did fuck me and he sucked my cock.

    I found out he is married, but he will be visiting again. I gave him my number and suggest you maybe he could spend his lunchtime there at my house. It was better than I expected, why did I wait so long?

    1
    # 80594 - by Anonymous / July 14, 2025
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 24

    She Caved Finally

    So I was assigned to work with this lady who I had met before but not really interacted with before. She’s in her late thirties married with kid. She knows I am not married or dating and that I like to keep options open. She’s a brunette dresses conservative. Pants suit hugs her ass and hips. She could use some fake tits they are small but her ass makes up for the littles. She says I’m crude and non professional but I’m a top earner so I get away with a lot of shit. Alyssa is her name Il leave the last name out but she’s 5 foot 4 150 lbs. this women is all ass. I ride the line on what I say to her and she puts up with it. The more we worked together the more comfortable she got with me. She started to be nice after I brought coffee and was nice and not rude to her. I told her to. It take me serious and she would love to work with me. Soon after unasked her to lunch and she declined. Asked her to hang out with us after work she thought about it then sadly said it’s probably not a good idea. Then I realized that she went from no to thinking about it. She came in late one morning was a mess and all disheveled. I asked if everything was alright she said that her car had a flat she had to have her husband drone roof on his way to work and she needed to have someone one change the tire. I asked why doesn’t your husband change it. She said he didn’t know how to. I grabbed her my the hand and got her into my car. I said we needed to go check this jobsite boss said sure. I go take her to her place and change her tire. She drives back got the office and asked if she could pay me. I said sure go have drinks with us afterwards meaning work. She does has a blast laughs and lets loose. No pressure both funny indeed she is really being nice the next day and again agreeing to go hang out. A few weeks of her going and she seems like a different person. I ask her to lunch she goes not thinking twice. She asked if I was going after work I said maybe she says go so I do. Flirting I get her a few stiff drinks and an hour later we are in my table in the parking lot. She waste to come home she lost her panties in my Tahoe and we found them the next day at lunch. When it was daytime and we where able to see them. I paid special attention to her ass and licked it a few times. She had tried anal before bit hadn’t done it in a while. Later that evening she gave it up to me in the back seat. It’s been 5 months and she went from perfect wife and mom to a second life of back seat anal and lunch time sex. I slap her ass and tell her how I own that ass and she agreed. Her latest thin is getting bigger tits. Her husband is on board and I am as well. Il update when she gets them.

    2
    # 80562 - by Anonymous / July 13, 2025
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 36

    She Is So Aggressive

    So I was screwing around with this women I met at my CrossFit class. Her name is Jennifer goes by Jen. Sports a big ring stay at home wife 1 kid bored wife. First time I hit on her she explained how she was married and would never cheat. I remind her all the time especially when she’s is about to cum while we have sex. She is a spinner type small tits little bubble but thin waist naturally a brunette but dyes her hair only 5 foot 2 and weighs 98 lbs. She’s like a playground you can pick her up slide her your dick shive it in her mouth. I have tons of pictures of her next to my cock. We do the rest the cock on her back while she’s on all 4s pictures to show where my dick stop in her. She can not take my cock all the way in. We have tried and we stop when we hit bottom. Unfortunately for her she can take it all the way until I bottom out in her butt. I was just always friendly and flirted and would ask her to do things she would and slowly started sneaking around drinks here meeting after working out. I have a flexible schedule so during the days she started coming by the house. Once that happened it was on. Having her jerk me off with her ring finger hand and ring on and covering her ring with cum many many times. She says it’s so hot when I do that. I like that when I cum on it she proceeds to lick and clean her fingers and ring with her mouth. Lots of videos and pictures of us together in bed while I’m balls deep in her ass perfect full face videos with sound of her telling me how tight it feels in her butt. I put toys in her but and have her ride me she says it feels so tight. She asked if this is what a DP felt like yes was my answer. All this came to a halt when she left her phone out and her hubby happened to be walking by and decided to go through it and found a picture of Jen with a dick in her mouth while on my bed and I’m laying down. He scrolls through more and finds another video her face my face phone propped up on the bed she’s on her stomach and her ass is in the air. You can perfectly here Jen’s voice say how deep I am in her butt. She then says I think I’m going to cum tell me you love me and I do and she let’s go language he wasn’t used to here her say. I was home and got a text from her phone that said how long have I been fucking her. I didn’t realize it was her hubby who I was talking to. He kept asking questions how long we been together i caught ok quick and said nothing after a while. 3 hours later she came by and said her husband and her argued and she stormed off. She left her phone he had it. She had some pics and clips that she likes to look at. Even while caught and at my place we fucked. Hubby text her from her phone to come home. It was hours later and she went home without cleaning up yup leaky ass and pussy make up a mess and went home. My phone rings it’s Jen I answered she says I have my phone and I’m coming over. For 3 days she fucked me at my place while her husband was trying to get a hold of her. Call after calm she finally answered and on speaker she tells him to leave her alone she will come home when she is ready. By now he wants her home she says she’s not ready he asked where she was she says some friends house. Over and over he tells her to come home. I sat there and listen then start to rub her pussy slip a finger in and tell her mouth I love her. That did it she says she’s has to go he keeps talking I whisper to stay on the phone she argues and then flips on her stomach and bam I slide in and hit it hard and fast. All she could say was fuck that hurts but feels so fucking good and whimpering. Not sure how long he stayed on but he was listening to her getting fucked. Monday comes she says Il be back tomorrow and heads home. She comes over the next day and then the next day. During pillow talk she says that he begged her to not leave and not leave him. She said she set her rules that she and I what she wants and come home when she wants he wants marriage counseling she wants to be with me and tells him that Il always be his side chick. She tends to tell em to come over and fuck her. So damn bossy but I did fuck her

    1
    # 80498 - by Anonymous / July 11, 2025
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 27

    Nothing We Could Do

    Ok so I can of got myself into a bit of a situation. One of our HR ladies is a mid thirties married mom of 2. Supposedly she was separated but it honestly wasn’t going to matter. She is a bit chubby not fat just a little thick. But she carries most of her weight in the right places. While thick she is a bit on the short side as well. Likes to wear clothing that shows of her curves. Hence what caught my eye in the first place. Dawn has long dark hair wears make up and it looks very sexy. So this started last year after our Christmas party last year after that we really kicked it on over drive. What do I mean is I fucked her that night and a short time later she was separated supposedly. So we snuck around in single she was separated. Dawn is half mexican half white. Nice big tits double Ds a damn handful and a half Nice full lips and while i like to fuck her she does give an amazing blow job. We played grab ass at work and someone complained so we quickly stopped almost all hanky panky at work. She likes to wear nice fitted slacks which drives me crazy and a snug top or a top that shows off those tits. While I kept my hands off during work hours we started having lunch together. There is so many people leaving at that time that we can easily head to the parking lot and get in each other’s cars. While off campus we can do what ever we want. We have an hour so for the most part it has to be a quickie which I ok with. On special occasions she will have me sit in the back seat of her Van and her top will come off she will suck me and use her toys to jack me off. It was late spring and it was hot. The usual place we go to is large park that’s busy in the morning and evenings with joggers. During the day it’s quite with the occasional mom with kids at the playground on the other side of the park. We had the windows down because it was hot. Her nice fat tits where out and she was sucking the life out of me. We did not hear the Prius pull up since it was electric. In the middle of me shooting my load we both tend to be a little bit loud. When I hear holy shit WTF Dawn I’m slumped over on the seat cock out Dawn sat up mouth and face covered in spit cum make up all fucked lipstick all smeared most importantly her tits where out. She said wait got up and out of the van. I looked over and it was a women and a guy. Dawn is starting to cry and I pulled my pants up and get out take Dawn her shirt her tits are still out she can barely cover them. I ask her who that was. She says it’s her sister in law who works close by with her friend. She though she recognized the van. Dawn came clean that her husband had convinced her to attend marriage counseling. We went back to work and she tired to explain and apologize. I told her that if she wanted to apologize to come over after work. She came over and I pounded the apology out of her. I sent her full to counseling. Since then I have been extremely rough and she keeps letting me.

    4
    # 80448 - by Brent / July 9, 2025
    • - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 28

    Bros Old Friends

    Went to a Bbq Friday night at a buddies house from work. His neighbors where there guys firm work and their wives. I’m currently single and came solo. I can usually find some divorced women or unhappy wife that I can fuck around with at these places. I’m a good looking guy really good shape type. One of the couples there’s where this guy Mike and his wife Maria. They are in there early 40s. We start to talk and Maria by far is not the prettiest girl there but is super cute. We talk her husband and I then her throughout the evening. None of us are buzzed just sipping on a drink and getting along. Maria had light brown hair with a few blond streaks she had denim short shorts on and a shirt that fit snug. She has a soft midsection I would call her thick but in a good sexy way. Mike was almost bald and what hair that was left was white. The party’s were on the levee so we could see the fireworks. Problem was the party started at 4 and it was still daylight and most people were smashed. Out of nowhere Mike asked me if I was related to so and so and I said that yes he was my older brother who had passed away during Covid. They apologized and Mike went to grab us another drink. When he walked away Maria gave me a hug and it lingered it was starting to get dark and I gave her little ass a squeeze. She left my hand back there staying really close to me. Mike came back and saw us and just smiled and said ok I’m going to go on the levee. Il check on you in a bit. She smiled and let me in on there little secret. He is ok with her having a little fun and likes to you know. I told her I’d fuck her but wanted nothing to do with him. She laughed and said not watch juts watch. That was all I needed she pulled me over to there place and went upstairs to a room. There was a slider so we could watch the fireworks. It was great I got to fuck this little thick Latina while watching illegal fireworks explode. While hammering her on all 4s I slid my thumb in her ass and she kept going. I felt her shake and be loud as she got hit with a Big O. She let out a fuck that last one of the best fucks damn juts then I slid my dick right into her ass. Very large gasp and I didn’t last blew my load while i bottomed out in her ass. We laid in her bed watching the fireworks and went back at. We never went back to the party and fell asleep. Next morning was very awkward as I woke up to a bj and one more round. She put her number in my phone and mine in hers and said she would be calling me in the next few days. Mike was down stairs and said not one world to me as I was headed out. All I heard when I walked out was why did you lock the fucking bedroom door.Il update on that argument she text me last night that she was going to run errands Saturday morning while Mike golfed out of town. She sent me a pic of her chubby ass with a butt plug.

    0
    # 80321 - by TonyB / July 5, 2025
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