Heathen44

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Gender: Bi-Sexual Male
Age: 51
Relationship Status : With someone
Profile Visits : 1020
Number of Comments : 119
Number of Confessions : 14
About Heathen44:

I love reading emails from men and women. I'll share my thoughts with you in private. [email protected]

Confessions by Heathen44:

Making New Friends

I moved in with my new family when I was 16. I had left my mother and brothers and now lived my father, stepmother, and three hot stepsisters.

The oldest of my stepsisters, Celeste, was very popular in school. She was a few months older than me and I got used to a lot of guys coming over to see her. Some of them were fucking her, and I got to hear all the juicy details of her sex life, but some of them made friends with me in hopes of fucking her. I had a hard time just making friends.

One guy I gravitated toward quickly was Zack. Zack was a fucked up guy and something of a misfit like me. He sensed I was a momma's boy and he enjoyed the way I deferred to him about almost everything. He liked Celeste, but he could take her or leave her, and I liked that.

I went over to Zack's house often. His mother was a small woman who reminded me more of grandmother than a mother. She wasn't much to look at but a sixteen-year-old can imagine quite a lot when he sees a woman walking around in her robe. Zack's mother and father were pretty casual with dress. His father was the king of the house.

Zack's father was a truly fearsome person. Zack wasn't scared of anything and he was a pretty tough kid, but he was scared shitless of his father. His dad went by the nickname "Bear" and it was apt. Bear was big, hairy, and was the meanest, most foul-tempered man I have ever met. I saw a saw-off double-barreled shotgun in his car, trimmed down to pistol size and Zack said Bear had used it.

Bear sat in his recliner in the evening and watched TV or read magazines. He sat dressed in a dingy, worn, brown robe, and he bellowed for cigarettes or beer whenever he was out of either. Zack's mom would shuffle off to fetch him what he needed, and if she wasn't around, Zack would jump quickly to avoid being slapped across the head for not moving fast enough.

Bear was usually unshaven and smelled of BO. He had an enormous beer gut and occasionally when his robe came open, I would see his stained tee-shirt and boxers, or, less often, his bare, hairy chest and belly.

Because I wore my hair long, Bear called me "Girly Boy." I was too scared of him to display any dislike of the nickname. In fact, all too often I embarrassed myself by trying too hard to please him. I would jump up and run to the fridge to get him a beer when he yelled for one, and Zack tried more than once to discourage me. Bear would swat me on the ass or even pinch my ass and I would giggle in response and soon I regarded his nickname for me as a mark of affection.

One day Zack asked me to come over on Friday and spend the night. The plan was to get up early and go fishing.

I went over straight after school. My last class was PE so I was still dressed in my PE shorts and a midriff top that even the boys wore then.

Zack and I mostly hung out in his room listening to music, but later we went downstairs to watch TV. I lay on my stomach on the floor while Bill stretched out on the couch. His mom had gone to bed and Bear sat, throne-like, in his recliner.

"Girly Boy, get me another pack of cigarettes," he barked, and I ran to fetch them for him. I giggled and pranced for him and he swatted my ass.

I resumed my position prone on the floor and after a time, I glanced over my shoulder at Zack. He was sound asleep. The TV droned on and I felt flushed and horny. I started slowly grinding my hips against the floor, sure that Bear wouldn't notice. After a few minutes, I looked back at him and Bear was sitting there staring intently at my ass.

"Zackm!" Bear growled, and Zack snapped awake and sat up. "Get to bed," Bear said.

Zack got up and nodded toward the stairs and I got up to follow him.

"Not you," Bear said. He turned to Zack. "Girly Boy and me are going to talk. He'll be up in a few."

Zack looked at me with a warning on his face and danger in his eye. But he dared not question his father and after a minute, I heard his bedroom door close.

"Come here," Bear said to me and he pointed to the floor in front of his recliner.

I sat as he instructed between his open legs with my back to him. I stared at the TV trembling with a mixture of fear and excitement. I felt, rather than saw or heard him open his robe. A moment later I felt his meaty hand in my hair and on my neck. He played with my hair for a minute or so and then I realized what he was doing. I could smell him. I smelled the musky scent of his crotch and I could feel the rhythmic vibration through his legs and through the chair. I knew he was masturbating.

Bear continued to jerk off for a few minutes, his hands and then his dick wrapped in my long hair. Then he stiffened and moaned and I felt the hot, wet jet of cum on my head and neck. It slid down my neck and down my shirt. I felt him wiping it in my hair.

"You get to bed now," he said when he was done. "Don't you tell no one. Understand?"

I rose and nodded to him, seeing that he had already covered himself up.

"Don't you go wiping that out of your hair," he said with an evil, brown-toothed grin. "You sleep with that I give you, understand?"

"Yes, sir," I answered, and I walked up to Zack's room.

I entered the dark room and saw Zack's eyes follow me as I walked to the metal cot his mother had prepared for me. Carefully, I removed my shirt, smelling Bear's cum. I stripped to my shorts and got into bed, praying Zack wouldn't ask me what happened. He didn't say a word. I lay there, feeling the cum running down onto the pillow and I felt it drying in my hair.

Eventually, I fell asleep.

I was awakened much later and looked over at Zack. By the light of the streetlamp outside that shone through the window, I saw Zack with the covers thrown down. He was jacking off. I watched him and after a few minutes, he came, shooting all over his chest and belly. He reached down and got a washcloth from under his bed and wiped himself. I could smell his semen, so I was pretty sure he had smelled it on my when I had come in. After a time, I heard him snoring and I went back to sleep.

Knowing Zack changed my life. I found out later that Bear had m****ted a few of the kids in the neighborhood, and that he encouraged Zack to bring his "little friends" over since he had been eight or so. But Bear struck gold with me. As my fear waned, I realized that fear turned to arousal. I was deathly afraid of Bear, but at the same time, I wanted so badly to please him that I knew I would extend that willingness into acts of sex if he wanted it.

The next day was a strange one, to say the least. And two weeks later saw me at Zack's house. Alone with his dad.

A New Family

I was sixteen when I left my mother and brothers and returned to the United States to live my father.

My father had remarried and his new wife had three daughters. The oldest daughter, Celeste, was a few months older than me. The next youngest, Colleen, was a year younger, and Tessie was eleven.

It was a brand new experience. I was overwhelmed living in a house with four strange females.

My mother, you recall from my Bath Time confessions, had made me into quite a momma's boy with her gentle, if rare bath time hand jobs and her insistence on me calling her Mummy, even as I grew older despite the ribbing I got from my friends.

My new mother was very different. She was a strict disciplinarian and ran the house with an iron grip.

I loved getting to know my stepsisters.

Celeste was sexually liberated and I soon learned she had quite the reputation at school. She had a killer body with long brown hair and a great sense of humor. She was a girl who went all the way and I enjoyed sitting alone with her in my room as she told me, leaving no detail out, about her sexual exploits. She had me eating out of her hand in no time, and I dropped hint after hint that I wanted to fuck her.

Colleen hated me because she had been moved out of her room to share Celeste's room. Unlike her sisters, Colleen had long, curly blonde hair and narrow hips. Her icy demeanor thawed as the weeks went on, but she always remained aloof.

Young Tessie was the rocket.

Even at eleven she had her sisters beaten at every step. She was smart as hell. She had long brown hair and a killer ass even for a girl of her young age. Her breasts were coming in and she had just started wearing a training bra. Celeste and Colleen shared the bathroom attached to their room, but Tessie and I had to use the main bathroom down the hall. Every morning I let her shower first and when it was my turn, I put my dirty clothes in the closet hamper next to the bathroom and grabbed the panties she had just taken off. In the bathroom, behind the locked door, I sniffed and licked the crotch and jerked off imagining how delicious her young pussy would taste.

One Saturday when everyone else was out, I lay on the couch watching TV. Tessie came in and asked me to move over so I could sit down. In typical teenage boy fashion, I refused and grinned at her.

I thought she would try moving me and I might get a nice look at her young tits shaking. She was wearing nothing but shorts and a tank top, so it seemed likely I'd get a peek.

Instead, she laid down on the opposite end of the couch with her bare feet up near my face. Slowly, she put one foot near my face banking on my reaction to be "Ew, gross!"

My heart pounded as she put her bare toes to my lips, still trying to get me to move. I closed my eyes as her big toe pried gently between my lips. She grew quiet and I risked a peek at her face. Her expression was one of intense fascination as she realized I was enjoying having her toe against my tongue. She pushed a little harder and I opened my mouth, not even trying to disguise the pleasure I was feeling. I opened my eyes wide and looked up the length of her tanned leg and into her eyes. Her lips parted and it seemed to me she was reading my thoughts, and in that moment I wondered if she knew how deep my fantasies were about her. I wondered if she knew how many times I had smelled her panties. How many times I had shot my load into them before I put them into the laundry. The laundry that she and her sisters did twice a week as part of their shared chores.

My lips closed over the tip of her big toe and I pressed my tongue against it. She smiled wryly and suddenly removed her foot. She hopped up off the couch and said, "You're gross."

That night, I lay in my bed jerking off. I had claimed a hand towel for my own to wipe the jizz off my belly and chest when I jerked off. But this time I got no satisfaction from merely fantasizing about Tessie. I remembered how I had crept down the stairs at my grandmother's house and sneaked into her room to stand over her sleeping form, and how good it had felt to jerk off.

So once more I slipped from my room and padded down the hall naked. I pushed Tessie's door open and went in, closing it behind me. It was dark in her room and my eyes had to adjust. I could smell her. She lay with her back to me and the blankets just off her enough where I could see her bare back and the panties stretched across her wonderful ass.

I started stroking myself and immediately my orgasm exploded from my loins. I didn't even have time to prepare myself. My cum shot onto Tessie's sheet and pillow next to her hair. It slid in gobs down my hand and dick and dripped to the hardwood floor. I returned, breathless, to bed and gasped at my own audacity. And I knew I would do it time and time again.

Before I had another chance, Celeste stole the show.

One afternoon a few days later, she knocked on my bedroom door and came in.

"Wanna see something fucked up?" she asked.

No one else was home and she led me eagerly up the stairs into the parents' bedroom. She boldly opened a dresser drawer and tool out a box.

"Check this out," she said, and she sat on the floor and opened the box.

Inside were two neat stacks of Polaroid pictures. She took out one stack and spread them for me to see.

They were pictures of my mother. Naked. Not just naked. These were obviously pornographic. My mother showed herself off to the camera in the most suggestive poses, her hairy c**t and bare ass on display. And in others, she was giving my father head. There were also pictures of my father, but I had no interest in them.

"Fucked up, huh?" Celeste said with a smug smile.

"What are those?" I asked, pointing to the other stack.

"Those are my mom," she said. "You don't get to see those."

Celeste put the pictures neatly back into the box and returned it to the drawer. We went back downstairs and the images I had seen of my mother sent my mind racing.

At the very first opportunity, a few days later, I went upstairs and, hands trembling, took the box from the drawer. I took out both stacks of pictures and slowly went through them. I had seen my mother naked more than a few times as her robe had fallen open while she bathed me. I had enjoyed the sight and unknown to Celeste when she had shown me, the pictures had turned me on. I went through them again, and then I turned to the pictures of my stepmother. She, too, had a nice big ass, but her tits were not nearly as big as my mother's.

I jerked off, and as I did, I realized the deepest sexual desires I had felt were all for members of my family.

And I had two more years of school left. You can do a lot in two years.

Bath Time II

In the last confession I explained how my mother continued to bathe me long after it was probably acceptable. I was old enough to feel awkward and had started getting erections as her soapy washcloth, and then her bare hands, gently washed my ass and genitals as I stood for her in the tub. Then, on occasions when her robe seemed to accidentally slip open, I was treated to the sight of her naked breasts and hairy pussy, and she "washed" me until I came.

I was twelve when I really learned how to masturbate. My mother and my two younger brothers and I had moved in with my grandmother in England after my parents divorced.

The living conditions were somewhat cramped. My mother and youngest brother, who was just a toddler, slept in my grandmother's room. My brother and I shared a bed in what used to be my mother's room when she was a girl, and my grandmother slept on a roll-away cot downstairs in the front room.

There was no bathroom and only cold running water, so bath times were a metal tub in the living room. Because of all this, my grandmother suffered. She was last in line for the tub in the evenings, and as a result, she often skipped a bath and might go several days without bathing.

A little bit about my grandmother. She was Irish and moved to England as a girl. She had married young and had only my mother before my grandfather died. Since my mother married, my grandmother had lived alone and had become (understandably) a little set in her ways. She was a devout Catholic and resented my mother not being strictly religious like her.

My grandmother was stout and had big breasts, Unless she was planning to go out, she didn't wear a bra or stockings. She didn't shave her legs or her underarms and the sleeveless house dress she usually wore revealed the tufts of dark underarm hair and sometimes a glimpse of creamy white breast as she moved around the house. I found the musky scent of her body enticing and did what I could to get close to her just so I could catch a whiff of her underarms or even that special scent I imagined might waft up from between her thick, white thighs.

Before I realized it, I had started sexualizing her, and she became the stuff of my fantasies as I practiced masturbating in my room.

Inevitably, I was caught, and it was she who walked in on my one day.

I was naked, kneeling on the bed one late morning. My mother had gone out with my brothers in tow, and my grandmother was busy downstairs. Perhaps she thought I had gone with my mother, but in any case, my grandmother walked in on me while I was stroking my cock for all I was worth.

She stood there, wide-eyed for a moment, and then let out a "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" or some such exclamation, and she fled the room. I don't think I missed a stroke, and despite my intense shame and embarrassment--or more likely because of it--I reached a mind-bending orgasm.

Afterward, I was horrified at what had happened. I knew my grandmother would tell my mother and I would be in trouble. Or worse, whatever secretive thing my mother and I sometimes enjoyed might end. I sat trembling in shame and guilt for a long while before I risked going downstairs.

My grandmother dismissed me, obviously not knowing what to say. Over the next few days, I guessed that she had not told my mother, and I began fantasizing about her again.

Then, it occurred to me to walk in on her.

I got up early on a Saturday morning. I had to get up early because my grandmother was always the first up in the family. I went downstairs and entered the front room where she slept without knocking.

She was dressing and she whirled around and I saw her big bare breasts. She was wearing cotton underwear, and I saw a tuft of dark pubic hair that grew up her belly just over the waistband. Her breasts were the most beautiful creamy white, topped with pink nipples. Her breasts sagged, of course, but they were magnificent to me, even though they seemed to be flatter and not nearly as full as my mother's.

"Get out, you little devil!" she hissed at me, as she covered her breasts.

I backed out quickly and closed the door, my heart pounding.

Of course the vision was enough to power me to another intense orgasm the next time I jerked off. And that next time I jerked off was the first time I was rewarded with a spurt of cum.

A few nights later, I slipped out of bed in the early hours, leaving my little brother snoring peacefully, and made my way slowly down the old stairs, careful not to make them creak. I pushed my grandmother's door open softly and was rewarded by the scent of her. The light from the street shone through the curtains and illuminated her as she slept. I lowered my pajama bottoms and jerked off as I stood over her. I wanted to pull the blankets down to see her. Maybe she was naked, I thought. I dared not risk it, and instead, I stared at her sleeping face. The thought of shooting my jizz into her hair was enough to make me cum. The jet of cum shot out and landed mostly on the pillow, but some went into her hair.

I left, feeling exhilarated.

A few nights later I was brave enough to venture into her room again. This time, my lust got the better of me, and as I grew close to my climax, I reached out and drew the covers down. I got a glimpse of her form through the cotton nightgown she wore, before her eyes snapped open.

I froze. She was shocked and confused, but only for an instant. Before she had a chance to say anything, I fled the room and back upstairs. I crawled into bed cursing myself for being an idiot and awaited the chaos that would surly ensue. Instead, I was met with silence. I lay quaking with fear for a long time, and finally fell asleep.

A day passed without my grandmother saying anything to me. The day following that, my mother went shopping and, as usual, took my brothers with her while I declined. Alone with my grandmother, I bravely risked an encounter with her. Shaking, I approached her in the living room and tried to hug her. I was going to apologize, but I wasn't quite sure of my choice of words. Instead, she cuffed me violently upside the head and grabbed my arm.

She cursed me angrily with words I had never heard her use before, and as she did, she grabbed a hair brush and beat my ass and thighs with it. I nearly peed myself I was so scared, but at the same time, the scent of her enveloped me and her big breasts shook and danced against my head. I can't remember a word of what she said because I was so aroused. Her big breasts. The sight of her unshaven underarms. The beautiful aroma of her. The feel of her thick thighs as I grabbed on for dear life. It was wonderful.

And to complete it all, my mother chose that evening to wash me in her special way again. I stood in the tub during our private time and as she slowly gripped my hard cock, I stared at her naked breasts and hairy snatch. I shot a load for her and she was obviously surprised by it. As usual, she didn't seem to acknowledge any of what she was doing as a sex act. It all seemed so very normal.

But that was the last time my mother ever treated me to a special bath time.

My grandmother blocked the door and I was never able to visit her while she slept, and just a few weeks later, my mother revealed she was seeing someone and it had grown serious.

Not long after, my mother remarried and we moved away. She visited her mother every Saturday and I declined, not wishing to risk having my grandmother say anything in front of my mother and my new stepfather. Instead, as I turned thirteen, I chose to stay home alone and jerk off as much as I could, sniffing my mother's underwear.

A few, mostly uneventful years ..(continue confession)

Bath Time

I grew up a momma's boy.

I was the oldest and my mother lavished attention on me that I know my younger brothers never received. For as long as I can remember my mother bathed me in the tub in the evening. Even when most kids reached an age where they are encouraged to bathe themselves, my mother continued to bathe me.

She always wore a robe, because, she said, she didn't want her clothes wet. It didn't seem strange to me at all, but by the time I was ten, I started to enjoy her attention.

I discovered sex at an early age, as do many kids, I suppose. The first time I got off was while I was with my cub scout den mother. She sat on the floor wearing a dress and I was laying behind her with my legs under a love chair. Her legs were under her, one outstretched and the other behind her, and her stocking foot was near my face as she read to the group of kids in a circle around her. I pressed my crotch into the floor enjoying the feeling as I stared at her foot. The orgasm that surged through me was surprising and from that moment on, I was determined to experience it again. I knew there was something magical about my cock.

I knew, too, the magical feeling was somehow tied to my perception of adult women.

By the time I was twelve, I experienced a guilty pleasure every night when my mother ran the washcloth over my body. As always, she washed my hair and face first, and then I stood as she washed my ass, and then my genitals. I was intensely embarrassed the first time my dick grew hard as she washed me. My mother ignored my discomfort and gently ran her soapy hands between my thighs and then rinsed me with a saucepan of warm water.

Occasionally her robe opened as she washed me, and those times I was treated to a view of my mother naked. My mother was very beautiful, at least in my eyes. She was full-figured with large breasts and a hairy bush of dark blonde hair. If her robe opened, she would casually close it with a slight smile, aware that I was staring but treating it as nothing.

Then, one evening, she left her robe open as she continued. I stood trembling as she ran her soapy bare hand between my buttocks and over my asshole. She washed my hard little dick with the gentlest of squeezes, and without so much as a comforting look, slowly stroked me until I came. I shook with pleasure but of course I was too young to shoot any cum. She finished me and rinsed me as if nothing had happened, and then closed her robe as she bid me step from the tub into the fluffy towel she used to dry me.

My mother was English so she preferred I call her "Mummy" rather than "Mommy." She insisted on this even when (and perhaps especially when) my friends were around, and though I resented it as I grew older, she did not relent.

Every night after she gave that hand job, I craved another. Soon, maybe a few weeks or a month later, she did it again. Again, she allowed her robe to come open and I delighted with the sight of her naked body. I stared lustfully as she slowly jerked me off with her soapy hand.

We never spoke of it. I was afraid to admit anything was the least bit out of the ordinary lest I break the spell and she quit.

A few months later, my parents divorced.

My mother and my two brothers and I went to live with my grandmother in England.

Things were very different there. My grandmother lived in an old house that had no bathroom and only cold running water in the kitchen. Bath times now were in an old metal tub in the living room before a coal fire. My mother heated water on the stove and filled the tub a few pots at a time until there was enough bathwater to bathe. She bathed my brothers first, and then she bathed me. My grandmother helped with my two younger brothers who were five and ten years younger than me, but she scolded my mother for bathing me. In my grandmother's estimation, I had long ago reached the age where I should be bathing myself.

I was thankful that my mother disagreed, and she continued to bath me. And with the same frequency, my mother pleasured my young cock with her soapy hand.

I attended an all-boys school and was bullied mercilessly for being American, and doubtless for being a soft momma's boy, as well. We sat in pairs in class, desks joined, and my desk mate in maths class was a fellow misfit. We sat in the back of the row and the teacher couldn't see us from his desk at the head of our row. During quiet periods when we were supposed to be studying, my desk mate would regale me with lurid tales of his sexcapades with his girlfriend. I had no clue what he was talking about most of the time. When he whispered to me one day about "wanking off" I had not the foggiest notion of what he meant.

When he explained, I immediately realized that was what my mother had been doing to me. I didn't want to admit to that, so I again feigned ignorance. My desk mate, to my horror, furtively unzipped his pants and took out his cock.

"Like this," he said, and he began playing with himself. I looked around the class, but all of our classmates were industriously working with their heads down. I watched my desk mate slowly stroking and I asked if I could do it. He removed his hand and I took his cock in my hand and did what my mother had done for me. He loved it. I was shocked when he came in my hand.

"Just wipe it in your pocket," he said. So I did.

I had finally learned the secret, and I was eager to practice on myself. Why I hadn't learned to masturbate from my mother's attentions, I can't say, but now the light had finally clicked on.

I'll continue the rest of the story in a different confession.