Adult Confessions

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This category is for confessing to things that are just plain 'ol "funny as fuck." If it won't make us piss ourselves with laughter, it simply doesn't belong here. Knock yourself out you funny shit..

- Funny As Fuck -
Straight Male / 22

Big Me

I’m a good looking young African American man staying shape very good shape. 6 foot 2 200 lbs like 2 percent body fat. I like women and they seem to like me. I like the gym there you get a variety of women who are there to take care of their bodies and show off a bit. Married engaged single Asian Mexican black white you name it I have dated it. It’s a rather large chain the gym i go to open 24 hours. There was a woman who I chatted up about a year ago. She as short redhead a little chubby but curvy. I happen to be in the treadmill that was next to her and we chatted. I was checking her out and I could tell that she liked the attention I was giving her. I also saw she had on a rather large ring on her finger but that didn’t seem to stop her from talking to me. She was in leggings and a hoodie. I could see that she was trying to cover her boobs. They were big and you could see them bounce around while she jogged next to me. She had a soft middle because she had a baby about 6 months before. We chatted for a while and then I’d make the effort to dinner during my work out say hi wave and continue on. I could see it made her day so I kept doing it. After a few months of this slight flirting I’m on the treadmill and she comes and takes the one next to me. We chatted and she is in her leggings and I notice that she looks slimmer her ass looks good it always had she takes her hoodies off and is in a tighter shirt. She is walking and as she is walking on the treadmill I can’t help but notice her tits. They are pushed up and looking good. Ass is fat thick thighs. She has strawberry blond hair that goes mid back in a ponytail. She looked good and I wasted no time in letting her know that I cousin tell that she was putting in the work. I asked her out see if she wanted to grab a juice after the workout. She thought about it and said let me see something and went to make a call. She did so and said sure. It was a juice place I hit on my way home and we sat and chatted. She had to go we got up I walked her to her car and before she opened the door i got right behind her and and when she turned to say her good buy she was face to face with me and this and with easy for em to lean in and kiss her. A little resistance at first but after a few seconds I felt her tongue flicking at mine. I took the chance and felt her up. I pulled away and told her see her tomorrow and gave her one last kiss. All she said was ok and kissed me back. I made sure that I was the one who walked away and left her wanting more. The next day was a Friday and we found each other at the gym. Chatted me up and again we hit the juice bar and this time we sat in my car after getting it. I kissed her she kissed me my hands wondered around younger shirt I slid my hand down her pants and fingered her. She must have made prior arrangements because her phone never rang. She went down on me was surprised with the girth and size. She did a decent job very inexperienced at it. A for effort and swallowed as much as she could. Invited her back to my place and she said she had to get home but she could take it happen. Next day we skipped the gym and I used her as a fuck doll. She made. Skies that she had never made before. She did ask for a condom which I ignored and pushed in. Seconds later all she could say over and over was oh oh oh and fuck fuck fuck. She didn’t realize she could ever squirt she kind of freaked out when she did all over the bed. I just kept pumping and pummeling away at her pussy. For having a kid she was kind of tight. Her ass was super tight she had never had anal and she let me pop that cherry. It took a few days for her to recover from it but she kept letting me have it. She called herself my workout wife. I used her like it so why not call herself that. I went with it as long as I got to fuck her. We did this for a while and recently found out she is expecting baby number 2. That baby is mine half black half ginger is what I made. How do I know because she had started to reject her husbands advances. She thought that she would be cheating on me if she slept with him. So. Is she has to explain how she is weeks pregnant with a half black baby. I wouldn’t mind keeping her around she puts in a lot of effort in her body and her sexuality. Susie home maker to my anal queen. Oh well fuck it

2
# 79969 - by Anonymous / June 23, 2025
    • - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Female / 24

    I Brought Back From My Year As An Exchange Student A Relaxed Lifestyle

    I was an exchange student in the Loire Valley. The family consisted of a mother doctor, a father lawyer, a 13 yo daughter and a 16 yo girl cousin. I went there because the family consisted of female siblings.

    I arrived in the late summer, just after the August holidays. The house had a pool with an outdoor patio. The family swam topless, mother, daughter and cousin. Going topless was a feeling that's indescribable. Faking the comfort around the father was difficult. He didn't care, not that I had much to show off.

    During my year away from home, I lived where nudity, open talk about periods and constipation, that included the father. No one noticed his penis, he never commented on our breasts or round bottoms. Your hair and nails, choice of shoes were open for discussion.

    When I returned home from my French experience, I walked downstairs topless, with nothing on except for French underwear. My mother called me out, my brother staired, my father feigned disinterest. It took a few weeks until it became uninterested, and my mother let her tits hang from her. I'm still today 100% in favor of family home nudity. Why not? What have you got to hide? So what if your brother gets hard? Or for that matter Daddy dearest gets a boner around a naked mother. See, but see, it's natural.

    3
    # 79951 - by Ella / June 22, 2025
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Bi-Sexual Male / 50

    Money Shot?

    Back in the 90s, I was a corporate training instructor for an airline. There were several attractive women working in the office and I ended up, connecting with one gal named D.
    On several occasions, we used an unused training classroom for sex. We almost got caught a couple of times. One of the last times she was blowing me and I wanted to do a porn shot on her face. I pulled back and as I came, she tipped her head back. My first shot went right up her nostril. She began to choke and sputter, all while I was trying to make this as sexy as possible. Oops.

    1
    # 79873 - by Lovedart69 / June 19, 2025
    • - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 41

    She Barely Made It Back

    My neighbor and I have been getting together for almost a year. I’m in my 40s single In great shape semi retired. I started a business very young it did well so well that it was purchased form me for a hefty chin of change. I stayed on as an advisor so I work 7 days a month. Those 7 days I work with there marketing team and spend a few days in the large city a few hours away. 2 years ago a young couple moved in next door. They where in there late twenties. Mike and Kristina I was surprised that they could swing the price of the house. He is a firemen and she stays at home and is trying to find a career. When you ask Kristina it’s her way of saying she does not really want to work. She is very low key low maintenance which is good for him I guess. Kristina is a short thick brunette hair kind of curly to her shoulders round face nice lips she has a B cup and would like bigger tits but I tell her they would make her look frumpy unless she wore skinny tight clothes or walked around naked. What she does have that I like is a nice round ass some thick thighs a tiny waist. During Covid I had a fit no one was allowed in the gyms so I converted 2 empty rooms in my house into one big room and made a gym. When Mike and Kristina moved in they toured my home and saw what I had done and where amazed. I told them they could use anytime and she took me up on it. It took about 8 months after a lot of flirting and she finally caved one morning after she worked out with me. She went from a shy good wife to a pure slut in that time. After the first day it was on. She even has clothes here to change into in case anything ever happened. Most of the time she is topless and in a tiny skirt or panties. I like to expose her I’ve had a few deliveries made and I have had Kristina in the back yard sunbathing by the pool. She knows so she lays where she can be easily seen with her legs spread open small tits out. Shit like that which gets me off. I joked one time that I was going to let the next guy that came to the door taste her. She got a little nervous and said if I really wanted that she would be ok with it. I didn’t share her I told her I was joking but I did fuck the lights out of her that day. The one day I’m writing about happened a few weeks ago. Mike her husband works a few days then is off a few days. She had mentioned that the way they where able to purchase this home as because his grandfather has passed and had left him a chunk of change. They laid bills off and put down a rather large down payment. His grandfather would be visiting in a few weeks to see the house. Apparently they don’t talk because it was a day he was supposed to be working and we where in my back yard. To be honest Kristina was in a g string I was balls deep in her ass pounding away when Kristina said I heard his truck. I was almost done and she heard the truck pull up I shot my load half in her ass the other on her ass cheeks and thighs. It was a mess. She grabbed her shirt that was on the lounge and she squeezed through the fence where we had moved some boards. I heard a splash then I heard her get out of the pool and about a minute later she was in a robe drying off when I heard a voice ask what was she up to. I had locked my house up making it look as if i was not home. I sat there quietly and listened to how fast she came up with answers. She was doing her laps she was goin to shower. The house is always picked up she is a neat freak. He says that his grandmother should be there in about an hour. She said that’s right and they went in talking. A few hours later she came over telling me that the next few days she would have to sneak over since they have her there for a few days. I told her not to push it take it easy don’t want to get caught. Her response was but I need it. We fucked and I sent her home. The next few days where quickies I even met her down the street when she ran errands. Soon as she left she spent the day here and said her plan was to have a cock in her all day. It was damn close to all day as well. She has been acting funny lately and she said that she is late. Not sure if it’s mine or his. Il update later

    0
    # 79863 - by Gino / June 19, 2025
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 57

    I Just Realized Something About My Refrigerator

    It is the longest I have ever owned something.

    When my parents retired and were moving they told all of us siblings we could have whatever we wanted from the house then they would sell the rest, I took the fridge because at the time it was way bigger than the one I currently had in the kitchen. I got married and my wife was like that piece of crap gold thing is going, I moved it into the garage, then it moved with us two more times outlasting refrigerators that broke down, we even used it for about a month while waiting for a new one to be delivered one time.

    Almost thirty some years later and I am divorced and that amazing appliance is in my kitchen still doing everything it is supposed to do.

    1
    # 79684 - by Todd / June 12, 2025
    • - Funny As Fuck -
    Bi-Sexual Male / 50

    Hurt By My Neighbours Teenage Daughter

    Many years ago my neighbours had a teenage daughter, probably 17 or 18 years old.

    Her and a friend were sunbathing in the back yard and giggling. I became aware of them and decided to relieve my sexual tension in my kitchen with the daughter as my star in the fantasy.

    I guess I got carried away as I ended up throwing my back out. I ended up in pain for over a week and at physiotherapy for several appointments.

    Those young ones can really mess you up!

    2
    # 79679 - by Lovedart69 / June 12, 2025
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 28

    She Was Beat Red

    I am hooking up with this married little hottie for the gym. She’s in her late thirties had a killer body very petite has a nice set of tits and a plush little ass. Very soft squeezable for sure. I’d been hitting on her for a while and she must have had some issues at home because she took up on offer to meet up after the gym. We did this for a while before getting really intimate. Once we crossed that line she was open for business. We truly care for each other I could tell she was sincere i have this older suv that the top can be removed. It’s all updated really nice tinted windows the back seat lays back and her and I spend a good amount of time back there. Since it’s private because of the tinted windows. I absolutely love giving it to her form behind. Most of the time she just pulls her legging down below her ass and gives me access to her. Her ass makes a little heads when I’m smashing have tons of pics and videos. She gets into it we usually find a quiet parking lot or garage. We have a marina close by that can get busy at time but at the end of the parking lot is a yacht club so it’s private and I can rail her she can get a little loud and we have a good time. I had been out with friends and some ass broke my window and got in and ripped my stereo and some other stuff. I got it replaced as well as the window. Problem was the rear window was replaced and it came with out the tint. I met up with Yvette at the gym she was being super knotty that day and we ended our work out early. She hopped in my truck and I drove over got the yacht club. There was an event going on so lots of cars so I parked closer to this restaurant that’s between our gym and the yacht club. Some people walking but it was loud because of the even lots of people but it didn’t bother us. I was horny she was horny we made out she sucked on me she got on all 4s pulled her leggings down exposing her tight Litte ass. I licked and licked and she had her head down I pulled my cock out and started to push it in she still has her head down and started to slam back into me. It felt amazing and I looked up and saw 2 guys and a women just sitting down and watching us. Then realized that the rear window was not tinted. It was hot to have some people watch us. They laughed the 2 guys gave me the thumbs up. I picked up the pace and Yvette started to cream herself I grabbed her by the hair and pulled it up. Loudest she could she told me she was cumming and to keep fucking her. She then looked directly into the eyes of the 3 people watching us. She tried to wiggle away but i picked up a harder pace and she went with to. We fucked for another 10 minutes until I shot my load inside her. At one pint I lifted her up and showed them her tits. We checked the event after and the 2 guys complimented me and Yvette on her performance. She was so embarrassed she made me take her back to her car. I got more head there and we fucked one more time. I got the window tinted short after that. Still hammering away and occasionally we roll the window down and let a few people watch.

    2
    # 79666 - by Anonymous / June 11, 2025
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 29

    Tired It And It’s Not For Me

    I always ensued to try to have one girl take on like 3 guys or more. Try the whole gang bang on a girl. Problem was I did. It want any attachment to the women. I didn’t want to try it with any girl i was dating. I then came across this thick girl that I had met while doing a spin class. We flirted she was ok looking a little small up top but had some thighs and an ass that went for days. We talked and chatted for a few weeks she spoke about her kids and husband yet still was excited when we spoke. I asked her out for coffee it took the entire class for her to think about it and she accepted. After a few times out we made out and she let me feel her up and this went on for a few days and finally she climbed into the back seat of my Tahoe and rode me. She stripped down naked I was surprised how good she looked naked. We started hooking up and I along the attention of another women at that same class. This made my thick princess extremely jealous and I noticed her be more aggressive while we hooked up. Definitely more vocal letting me do more with her letting me use all her holes. Then it popped into my head while having sex with her I asked if she would like to try myself and another. She said what ever I wanted after all and while close to cumming she agreed. I made the arrangements I told 2 of my buddies they came over she called in sick one day and for the next 8 plus hours we tried everything that we could think of. We each had her she was a champ and never quit. At one point she was walking around naked and we would hiragana and take it where ever we where at. We had her air tight a full DP all 4 had fen she showered up before she left and she actually called in a second day to recover. Since then we have had her come over a dozen or so times and we have gotten as many as 6 guys here and all 6 got there turn. As long as I’m involved and tell her how much I love her she never complain me and more importantly she never says no. Il always shower with her to clean her up. She did say her husband asked what was with all the bruises she said it was a kick boxing class she took and was very hard. I wonder how long she will let us use her and if she actually knows how many pics and videos are out there circulating of her. She’s a good fuck and I’d like to stay close and be FWBs.

    3
    # 79597 - by Not marriage material / June 8, 2025
    - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 27

    Right From The Bull

    I enjoy and am happy I’m on the other end of what usually happens. I’m a tall muscular good looking African American man. I plays college ball got hurt missed my chance stayed in school graduated and took my skills to my local community college and from there moved up to state as an assistant. Pay is great the city I moved to had a great night life. I joined the local gym and this is where I first was approached. I’m chatty and will talk to anyone that’s willing to talk. I met this guy super nice talked sports for a while being in a new area was nice to meet someone who had the same interests. Would chat at the gym and then one day was invited to a bbq at his and his wife’s place. I show up he introduced me to his wife. This good looking women in her mod 30s. Skinny waist 5 foot 4 maybe 130 lbs curvy in all the right places. I noticed that she was chatting me out and by the end of the night she’s really chatting me up. People leave I’m the last one her husband my friend who invited me is no wear to be found. She head been in a skirt and short sleeve blouse that made her tits spill out. She tells me finally alone I tell her wow what baby where Jim that’s her husband. She says he ran to drop his cousin off he had to much to drinks. He wanted to make sure we where alone. She tells me her husband wanted this and I was not into screwing friend me over so she grabs her phone and calls him. He answers she says babe did you mean for myself and blank to be alone until you get back and will you want to watch me get railed. He responds yes and oh yes Il be home in 45 minutes. She hangs up and asked me if I was in. I railed her mouth pussy and ass that night. After our 3rd round and losing count of how many times she squirted she asked for a break. I kept at her and told her no break until I’m done with you. Her husband saw as she laid there taking it in all her holes. I spent the night she laid next to me passed out. The next morning I fucked her crusty pussy and ass one more time getting a few more squirts. She put her number in my phone and said it was one of the best nights of her life and was going to sleep the day away. I don’t hear from her for a few days. Monday at the gym her husband said she slept the rest of the weekend away. Tuesday she text me asking if she could come over. Sure didn’t think anything I’m at home 20 minutes later she walks in says she gave her number to a few of her friends who also are in the lifestyle. She was wearing a dress and heels. Liked good I asked if she had recovered she said yes that her ass was still sore but she could use some help. As she said that she lifts her dress and shows me a plug that’s in her ass I leave it in and rail her pussy with the plug in her ass. She keeps telling me it’s feels so tight and good and squirts while I’m in her. Her husband not sure if he knows but she spends a lot of time at my place and yes I have fucked her friends with there husbands there and with out. She has let me rail her while she elate out another one of her friends and vice versa. Best thing she ever did was have a make out session with her friend with my cock between them. I blasted there face and they kicked it off each other’s faces. Man she is the best thing I have ever been introduced to. Her husband took a position that make him travel more and more and his wife has all but given herself to me. Her husband was absolutely shocked when she got a BBC queen tattoo with a little bee over her pubic bone. The look she gives me when I first slide in is amazing and she tells me over and over how much she loves me and my cock. Again her husband started all this I’m just running with it.

    4
    # 79411 - by Anonymous / May 30, 2025
    • - Funny As Fuck -
    Straight Male / 40

    How I Met Your Mother

    When I was out of high school I went to work for my dad at his fence company. It was rather large I knew it well from all the summers helping out. It didn’t take long for me to run my own crew and eventually the shop. We primarily had an all Mexican crew. My dad had a good group of guys and he took care of them pay and benefits etc….

    He had one guy named Raul who was the bad apple of the group. He seemed to be always sick on Monday or Fridays one Monday came and he was the only guy not there. He was one of my guys so he would have to call me to let me know and had down so on Monday morning. Tuesday comes and goes and I never hear from him same with Wednesday. The next 2 days I was having the crew stay a few towns over to start and finish a 2 day job. The guys left and ones in the shop when this young hispanic lady walked in and asked if I was the boss. She was there to tell the boss about Raul. She introduced herself to me Angie I couldn’t stop checking her out. She had a very pretty face a small chest with these big hips and ass for days. She tells me that Raul was in Mexico and would be there for a while. Apparently he got another dui and was facing jail time and he asked her to come ask if he could get keep his job. He was facing some time now that he was in the run and I let her know that I was going to let him go for job abandonment. She begged me not to and that she could work for him. She was here alone had a part time job and needed money to come in. She panicked and said she could do work for me. I honestly wanted to offer her money for sex she was gorgeous and I almost did until she said she needed help and would do anything. We where the only ones left in the shop so I grabbed her hand and took her into my office upstairs. She had on these leggings and a t shirt with flip flops. She leaned in and kissed me she knew what she was upstairs for took her top off nice little tits I wanted to see that ass and we kissed some more stood up and peeled off her leggings. Fuck no panties she was completely naked in my office she sucked me off for a bit pulled her up and had her on her knees on this love chair. Ass sticking out I took some pictures licked it sweet and salty she made these noises. She had a very bad accident which made it hot when she was moaning. She called for condoms I ignored and slid in in broken English she said slow please I pushed in and hit the bottom. I waited a minute and picked up the pace. Her ass was clapping best piece of ass I ever had is what I kept telling her. When we left it was dark I locked up and followed to her shit hole apartments dropped her car off and took her to dinner. She was getting paid to be my fuck doll. This went on for a few months and eventually left Raul he never came back think he got busted down there. Angie and I dated and she ended up getting pregnant. She and I married had another son. She’s a stay at home mom she still had a banging body nice thick and now has. Nice pair of fake tits she jokes that her job is still to make me cum. She does and she’s right she’s a fine piece of ass. Glad I kept this one.

    0
    # 79253 - by Anonymous / May 23, 2025
    500 of 75,652 Confessions Displayed.

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