The first time I got fucked, that is penetrated by a penis in my anus, was when I was 13. I was fucked by a boy who lived down the street from us, he was about 17 or 18 at the time. He really enjoyed fucking me, and I waited for him to come to see me. I enjoye every bit of it myself. I enjoyed doing things to him that he asked me, I enjoyed being touched by him, and enjoyed being layed back on my bed and being kissed by him. Sometimes, he would kiss me and undress me and make love to me. I was in love with him and I think he was in love with me.

He went to the army, and while he was gone I had a difficult time because I was in love with him. It wasn't until I was 15 that I had another lover, a man that worked at the mall where I had a job at a shoe store. For him it was a lot of hidden grabbing and blow jobs and I would ask him to fuck me and he did, but it was different. This was hidden and in the storageroom behind the store after hours. He was about 30 I would guess. I hadn't figured out that for him it was very risky.

When my friend returned from the army it wasn't the same anymore. We tried, but the spark was gone and he moved on. I was by then a highschool student, and a confirmed queer. I had a lot of sex with guys, some from school, some for fun, and I became a regular with some men from town who liked boys. I much preferred the men than the highschool kids.

I am gay. I am the passive partner, that is I receive and don't get much out of giving. I enjoy receiving and I much prefer older men, always older than me. I have had two confirmed relationships, but I also enjoy going out on the town. I am 35 now, and my main lover is a man who is 60. He is a very good lover, and very macho, which I love. I am careful, very careful.

I have never had a relationship with a female, and never had any desire for one. I identify with them as a gender and I often wonder if they feel the same when they are penetrated, that feeling of being so totally owned.

I know that men who do not feel this way have a hard time understanding why you would want to be fucked, but then again I tell them, they've never been fucked, so don't knock it.

p.s. I work in the shoe department at N.......

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Aug 21, 2011 at 1:03 PM

You're 35 and sell shoes? AHAHAHAHHAHAHA

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Aug 22, 2011 at 6:24 AM

After reading all of that, I have a follow-up question. What was the major turning point in your life that limited you as an adult to rise to the low expectation of being a shoe salesman?

Perhaps I am off base and you feel good about yourself. Surely, as you are walking from your car (assuming you own one and aren't walking, using public transport or bumming a ride) you feel important. After all, you are dressed the part wearing nice clothes and a neck tie. You are gay, so obviously you dress well. But then, the realization must set in when you once again see that you didn't get dressed for your well-paid professional career, but your shoe sales job.

How disappointing life must be for you. I'm not mentioning all this to be mean. Merely to hopefully help others not make the same poor life and career choices.

Any advice for the young cock suckers out there?

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Aug 28, 2011 at 4:16 AM

Wow there are some real cunts on here making really cunty comments. I'm a woman with the right man i get that feeling of being totally owned. I love it.

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