My question is, are you sure it is true love, or is it an infatuation? Is the second man fulfilling something in you that your husband is missing?
I guess you can love two at the same time ... I don't think it would be the same kind of love. The love of one might be passionate, and the other romantic or familiar. No less deep, no less important, but different. Given that you probably will have to make a choice at some point.
Yes, I suppose you could say that he is fulfilling the communication part of my relationship with my husband. My husband is not one to talk about feelings and anything remotely emotional. My friend is and lends an ear when I need to talk, he gives advice or just listens. Much like a best girlfriend. We know that if we act on the sexual attraction we may ruin the fabulous friendship we have, which I guess is what's missing in my marriage. Not that I haven't approached my husband about that because I would rather feel this close to my husband than my friend. i suppose a different time, different place my friend and I might have had something special. But we will never know. And that's ok with me too. I should mention, that this has been going on for a year now, so I don't think its infatuation but because of circumstances it can't be more than what it is. I will just have to love him secretly and enjoy what I do have with him. I am very lucky to have a friend like him.
We probably all assumed a sexual relationship with this other man ... but since you have not acted on your attraction, I personally think your relationship with the other man is OK. Your husband might not agree if he knew about it, but if you feel more complete, then that has to be a good thing. I think the temptation to take it to "the next level" will always be there, so if you want to avoid that, be careful. The affection you feel for the other man is probably more like the love you'd feel for a good girl friend, which no one would have a problem with. The fact that he is a man is the nudge.
Oh if I could let myself do it there would be a sexual relationship here. We have gone so far as to kiss and we have cuddled on many of our talks but that's as far as it goes. I am very attracted to him and I think the feeling is mutual, at least he says it is. In my heart I feel like I have cheated and I suppose if you think a kiss is cheating then I have. In some ways we are more intimate than my husband and I have ever been without actually being intimate. Its a tough call, but right now I would say I don't regret sharing what I have with this man. Maybe someday I will, but not now.
Trust me. You will regret it when you see the hurt in your husband's eyes. You will see it and feel destroyed. You will know how completely your conduct has cut through him and wasted him.
Please. Don't do this to him. Don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to your marriage. It will be beyond repair. Address the real issue. Whatever is lacking in your life needs to be addressed now. No multiple orgasm in the world will heal it, whatever it is that eludes you and makes your life feel less than it should be.
Your heart has cheated. You are already intimate with this man. If you don't want to be with your husband, then cut him loose. Don't wait until you have utterly destroyed his ego, his self-esteem, his pride, his dignity. Don't destroy a man in a quest to fill your emptiness.
I have never said I don't want to be with my husband. That is not the issue, I do want him. But he needs to make the effort to make it work also. I have opened up to him and told him what I feel is missing in our relationship but he doesn't feel it is a problem. Obviously it is or I wouldn't be looking for something elsewhere. Maybe if he could devote half as much time as he does to his friends and the tv I wouldn't feel so lonely and taken for granted.
I'm not suggesting that you aren't hurt, or have good reason to feel as you do. My only suggestion is that destructive behavior resulting in severe hurt to your loved one is not the answer to addressing whatever the problems are. It will only make things worse, and you probably feel things couldn't be any worse than they already are. They can and will if you continue to risk it.
u slut how could u even consider cheating on your husband!!!
If you don't have good advice then shut the hell up. You shouldn't judge people. Obviously they post here looking for help not for name calling!!!!
Listen to yourself, your kidding yourself.
Dont play with fire, you might get burned.
You wrote that you have "approached" your husband, you need to tell your husband exactly what is going on in your life and if he wont go to therapy or isn't then willing to change, you can move on and tell him so.
Shit or get off the pot.
You made a commitment when you said "I do".
well said. #81.
Karma
Be a human being with some dignity, or some sort of respect, if you want to play cuddles, let your husband in on your little secret.
Make a decision.
You are completely wrong, don't foul another persons life because you are confused about your own.
Do you remember your wedding vows?
