Im scared if I keep Being suspicious of him cheating that he will just go & cheat. It's not my fault tho, I'm not some paranoid, jealous bitch. it's his fault! after only 1yr of marriage I duno how it has lasted this long. right from day 1 his bitch ex gf was tryin 2 get between us, I no he had met up wit her a few times behind my back to "talk" her out of her stupidity of trying to break up our marriage. but it's the fact he kept these meetings from me, & I found out thru hacking his email/Facebook, that have made him look suspicios.

then coz of all the "stress" he lost his desire to hav sex wit me (or he was relieving it elsewhere as I assume) I cant deal with this kind of attention, or lack of it for that matter. At 5"5, tanned brunette with an hourglass figure, I was never one who had a problem wit the men. usually I'm curvier at 52kgs but the stress has made me lose 10kg easy so iv got my curves but I'm on the thin side now.

iv caught him many times watching porn to relieve himself. it kills me!! here I am trying my best to remain patient, he has given me access to his phone/email to prove his ex is finished with, but he stil won't come to me in bed. it drives me nuts I think bak to the single days wen I used my looks to my advantage & I think of all the guys out there beggin for it, I get this one.

thing is, I stil dnt trust him ...& won't until we hav a normal sex life & he let's me satisfy him - isn't that fair? yes i do complain if he goes to the beach with his mates, or goes clubbing coz all I'm thinkin is 'greaaat! my husband is probly so horny his walkin around wit a boner n thers all half naked girls around!' try goin to sleep with that thought :(
iv told him 10000000 times I wldnt giv 2 shits if he stayed out all night if we wer fucking, coz I no he is satisfied with me.

so even tho the ex is dealt with, I stil hav the problem of not trusting him. wen his at work i feel like chekin to see if he really is, if he goes outside to take a phone call I get suspicious - I NO ITS A BAD HABIT, but can u blame me? I'm so freakin depressed & nervous all the time. I no its a bad way to b & iv told him the only thing that will fix it is if we establish a healthy sex life. & he doesn't even answer me wen I say that :'(

im so scared if I keep pushing it & questioning him about who wer u talking to? who dropped U off at home? why wer u late from work? I'm so scared he will jst say Fuk it, and cheat on me. but it's not my fault!!! I dnt wana b this girl :(