im lonely and sad and afraid ill never be "ok" again. my fiancee of seven years told me he wanted to be a woman three years ago. ive tried to be supportive, but the hormones have ripped away the person i once knew better than anyone in the world and replaced them with this petulant teenage girl i dont know and cant connect with.

i havent had sex in longer than i want to admit. i tried, at first… but i cried after every time. i cant see this… half man half woman person as someone sexual.

i was going to marry him. we have a daughter together, and i cant bring myself to leave.

and worst of all, i have to lie to everyone about our relationship. everyone thinks im a lesbian and im not! when people ask about our little girl, our life, i have to lie. sometimes… i think about death. except im too much of a pussy to actually off myself. so i just go through the motions, slap a happy face on, and face another day.