Last night my older brother, who is 22 came into my room again around 1 in the morning, and climbed into bed with me. He usually hugs me from behind. I sometimes turn around and straddle him, we sometimes nuzzle each others necks and he sometimes kisses the corner of my lips.

I think its more a longing for intimacy that we both need, I feel at peace when we're this intimate. This has been going on since I was 15, i'm 19 now and we've started getting more sexual, sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, I can feel his erection on my back, I let him move against me, and I know that last night I made him cum in his pants. Before it was a non sexual intimate thing but now he has started this new thing where he kisses down my neck, lifts up my night shirt and licked a trail with his tongue over my breasts and stopped right under my belly button, he always goes further down every night, so i'm both worried and excited about whats going to happen tomorrow night.
What started off as something innocent has turned into something twisted, what scares me the most is that I look forward tonight and what he'll do to me.