I'd met J the night I lost my virginity. I was dating his best friend, M, at the time and it got late. We were joking around and they blindfolded me and led to the bed and we were all cuddling. Then they both started kissing me and I felt J's hand slip down my pants and start rubbing the outside of my panties. I couldn't help how attracted I was to J despite the fact that I was with his friend. He was very tall, muscular with an extremely handsome face. He was rough around the edges with about 15 tattoos, but extremely intelligent. He had spent most of the night telling me about all sorts of drugs and then poetry and literature. His body coupled with such an amazing personality had made me extremely wet. I was so very attracted to everything about J and his hand was suddenly down my pants. Then he slipped it under my panties to my bare skin and I moaned.
About this time,M slipped his hand into my pants beside J's. One, Idk wwhich one, started fingering me and the other was rubbing my clit.
Then they took my shirt off and started sucking my tits at the same time (I have D's. Im quite proud, and it looked like they were too.)
J swirled his tongue around my nipple and sucked and I wanted him.
So I turned to M, since he was my bf, and told him I wanted to lose my virginity to him.
They paused a moment, and I was still blindfolded, but I felt like it was probably to look at each other and smirk. It fits their personalities. Then I took my blind fold off.
J unbuttoned my pants as I unbuttoned M's. Then I started sucking on M's dick to make him harder so he could take me.
They positioned me doggy-style and I began sucking J's dick. He made a happy noise and told me how he'd had a dream about me the night before. He said he'd dreamt of this girl he didn't know giving him the best blowjob of his life, and that it was coming true.
I was very sexually inexperienced with everything. Having gotten to know J better, I know he was telling the truth. I also know he's had a lot of women suck his dick. I'm very surprised I was that good at it.
Then M thought better of popping my cherry in that position and he put me on my back and took my virginity.
Jeremiah laid beside me just out of reach the whole time. I couldn't help thinking that I wanted him instead. I know it's kind of awful, but he just had so much more substance to his person than my bf, even though M was more attractive physically and had a bigger dick.
Once M decided I was good to go, I got my wish.
J took me from behind while I started sucking M's dick. He was so gentle. I thought I would feel used and disgusting in a threesome, but it was sensual. Not loving, but certainly intimate.
M screamed as I squeezed my lips tight and did a motion with my tongue I thought might work. Then he covered his mouth and said that he'd never done that before. J laughed.
J kept slipping out. Evidently I'm not good for doggie-style.
Then M said, "Turnsies?" to J and he nodded and sat across the room and watched as M fucked the hell out of me.
Then M finished on my tummy and wiped me off and left me shaking with an orgasm that lasted a long time. In the middle of cumming, J came and laid down beside me and held my hand. M went outside for a cigarette and we were alone.
Then J got on top of me and started moving in and out of me gently. He let me try being on top. It was all so sensual, but still lust-filled.
Afterwards, I felt like such a little whore. M ignored me. J was nice to me and told me I was just curious and experimenting and that I wasn't a whore.
He was so kind to me. When I left, I knew M would dump me and that he'd only been with me to take my virginity.
I was right. He dumped me two days later via text. I saw on facebook that J had a gf. I was pretty upset, but I let things go and moved on.
About a month passed and I went through another rocky relationship that didn't last long.
Then J messaged me on Facebook apologizing for the way M treated me and telling me that he didn't have a gf and that they'd been broken up since the spring, but she wasn't ok and he gave her time before he'd taken it off Facebook. I thought it was bullshit, but sure enough, she took it down the next day.
J and I started talking a lot. I had since gone back to school, but I came home about a month into our conversations and we hungout. I met his family and we had sex a few times and stayed up talking all night. I drove home at 6 am in a wonderful mood.
J and I kept talking. And I came back two weeks later. And the next week. And the next week.
I was so into him.
I knew that I had very little chance of dating J because he is in love with another girl that broke his heart 3 years before he met me. She is in another relationship and has been for a long time. He doesn't stand a chance with her and he knows it. It's all really tragic.
I hate that it makes me want him more. His last gf got him to date her after a few months. Im hoping I can too, but idk for sure. I care about him, and I know he cares for me too. He just is so in love with his ex.
We had been hooking up about a month when his friend, T, came home on break from the Marines. He was fun to hang around and we all got drunk on whiskey and tequila.
J jumped over his friend and started making out with me cause he could and I felt like every guy in the room was jealous. Which gave me a confidence boost.
Later on, it was just me, J, and T. And J grabbed my breast and squeezed it. Then he encouraged T to do the same.
I looked at him and twitched my nose, but let it happen. T squeezed my breast and said, "Wow. Yeah, J. You were right. They are amazing." I blushed. Then T took his clothes off and stood by the door joking around. Then J kissed the hell out of me and there was so much touching... I ended up consenting to another threesome.
I'd gone to hs with T, so it wasn't like I didn't know him, but I should've been honest, I only wanted to have sex with J.
J took my anal virginity that night. It didn't hurt as bad as I thought, but I was sucking T's dick when he did it. T started skull fucking me and gagged me and I puked on him. I felt bad, but it WAS his fault for just going for it when he knew I couldn't pull back because of J.
I took turns sucking their dicks until J came. T was grossed out so it took him longer. He then decided he was going to fuck me.
I knew it was my time of the month before going, but I was so very drunk I didn't even think about it.
T got on top of me and slid inside and I started crying. The lights were off, so I know he didnt (and still doesnt) know that. I should've said no because I was uncomfortable with it, but I didn't.
Afterwards, we saw blood EVERYWHERE, and we were in another guy's house so we frantically cleaned it up.
T hasn't talked to me since. Which is understandable.
J and I still talk, but we've only slept together once since then. We've kind of reached a point where we spend time together without needing to have sex. He understands me and I understand him.
I'm very confused. I'm starting to fall in love with J. I can't help it. I've tried not to.
I'm afraid though. I'm afraid I'm just his close friend that he likes to have sex with.
Tell me. Am I really fuckbuddy-zoned?