OK, so this is pretty terrible...
I am a 42 year old woman, and I am very lucky to teach high school at a wonderful private school. However, there is a girl in one of my classes this year... I've never had this reaction with a student before, but the fact is, she is driving me absolutely insane with lust. And she's only a sophomore.
And it's not just that she is gorgeous (and god, is she... long, beautiful blond hair, perfect, innocent looking features, still some adorable baby fat), but she is so sweet and kind, and innocent... completely unassuming, and seemingly unaware of her beauty.
She awakens a lioness inside me... I want to possess her, conquer her, ravish her. And I have to stand in front of my class and somehow act like I'm not feeling anything in particular at all, somehow suppress the knowledge that *she* is staring right at me. I am normally very articulate, but sometimes in her class I start to lose it, and stumble over words, lose my train of thought, with all of these kids staring at me, thinking to myself, "they know, oh my god they know, they have to...". Sometimes I have to go to the bathroom and masturbate after her class, sometimes even the class after, because I taught the next one on auto-pilot, thinking thoughts about her.
I feel so bad about this, I know I shouldn't be having these thoughts, it wouldn't be appropriate to feel this way about her even if I was 20 years younger. I have to act very coldly towards her, as if I don't really like her. Partly I do this as a defense mechanism, but partly because I am genuinely angry at her. Of course it is not her fault, but I am so fucking angry that I will probably never, ever be able to have her, I would never be able to commit an ethical breach such as that, nor potentially flush my career down the toilet, and face jail time. Sometimes, OK often, I come home from work and go straight to my bedroom, to my vibrator, every cell in my body longing for her, feeling angry, and lustful, and totally alone.
Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest. It made me feel better. A little bit, anyway.
I am a 42 year old woman, and I am very lucky to teach high school at a wonderful private school. However, there is a girl in one of my classes this year... I've never had this reaction with a student before, but the fact is, she is driving me absolutely insane with lust. And she's only a sophomore.
And it's not just that she is gorgeous (and god, is she... long, beautiful blond hair, perfect, innocent looking features, still some adorable baby fat), but she is so sweet and kind, and innocent... completely unassuming, and seemingly unaware of her beauty.
She awakens a lioness inside me... I want to possess her, conquer her, ravish her. And I have to stand in front of my class and somehow act like I'm not feeling anything in particular at all, somehow suppress the knowledge that *she* is staring right at me. I am normally very articulate, but sometimes in her class I start to lose it, and stumble over words, lose my train of thought, with all of these kids staring at me, thinking to myself, "they know, oh my god they know, they have to...". Sometimes I have to go to the bathroom and masturbate after her class, sometimes even the class after, because I taught the next one on auto-pilot, thinking thoughts about her.
I feel so bad about this, I know I shouldn't be having these thoughts, it wouldn't be appropriate to feel this way about her even if I was 20 years younger. I have to act very coldly towards her, as if I don't really like her. Partly I do this as a defense mechanism, but partly because I am genuinely angry at her. Of course it is not her fault, but I am so fucking angry that I will probably never, ever be able to have her, I would never be able to commit an ethical breach such as that, nor potentially flush my career down the toilet, and face jail time. Sometimes, OK often, I come home from work and go straight to my bedroom, to my vibrator, every cell in my body longing for her, feeling angry, and lustful, and totally alone.
Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest. It made me feel better. A little bit, anyway.
- That's Juicy! 12
- Remove It! 0
