I have known someone over the course of 6 years on and off. We were physically involved until 3 years ago, but then the physical ended because I didn't commit and it became purely an emotional thing. At that time, I was in love with him but urged him to find a serious girl because I knew it was what he wanted. He did, but we would still meet up after a few months and just talk about our lives. He didn't tell his now-wife. We have never been in a monogamous relationship with each other because I did not want to commit when he asked me to. I had my chance, but I had a million excuses and was immature. I was 20 when we met, and he was 28, and we at different stages in our lives. I was busy with college and work while he had a steady job. I played games with him, and he put up with it for the benefits but when I didn't commit and kept pushing him away, he distanced himself. Thus, it was on and off. Prior to 2 weeks ago, I didn't see him for 9 months because we had a fight the last time we met (He was jealous of my bf and advised me to stop seeing him, so I anonymously contacted his now-wife then but she wasn't able to figure it out) and 6 months ago, he got married. During the 9 months that I did not see him, I was away at grad school and mentally buried him. However, I was very sad about possibly seeing him again, so 2 weeks ago, I ended up meeting up with again. It made me very happy. I know I should not have went to meet up with him because of our history and his wife not knowing about me, but I'm happy I did. I'm confessing though partly out of guilt.