When I was 12 my 19 year old brother snuck into my room late at night and molested me. He put his hands up inside my nighty and fingered me. I was awake but pretended to be asleep. When I didn't wake up he got on top of me and put his penis inside me and raped me. He came inside me and it hurt a little but not a lot.

After that he came in my room every night and raped me. I just lay there and pretended to be asleep. The first time hurt a little but not a lot. The second time didn't hurt but didn't especially feel good either. Third time felt kind of good and then after that it always felt really really good.

A few months later I was pregnant. My mom kicked me out of the house saying I was a whore since I got pregnant at 12. So my brother moved out too and got an apartment and I lived with him. I had my own bedroom but he snuck into my room every night to rape me even when I was pregnant. When the baby was born I told him to stop pretending and just fuck me normally and at first he denied it but I pointed to our baby and said this didn't get here by way of stork so from then on we slept together every night and he raped me every night. I keep saying rape and I pretend it is rape because partly it turns me on to be raped but also partly because if he raped me then it's not really my fault and I don't have to be guilty but it was not really rape because since I was 10 I was sneaking into his room to play with his dick while he was sleeping.