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When I Was A Kid
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Straight Male / 33
when I was little my younger sister got cancer and was really sick for a year then died.
When I was 15 I started to volunteer at the children's cancer center where my sister was treated. I had to wait three years until I was old enough though I had wanted to volunteer when I was 12. I saw how my sister was but I also saw that a lot of kids did not get as much attention as my sister did. There were a lot of kids whose families lived far away and could only visit them once or twice a week, mostly on weekends. Most of the volunteers were girls and most were in their late teens and early twenties and most were planning to become nurses one day. I just wanted to help since the place had done so much for my sister. Plus I felt really bad about all the kids who were dying. I wanted to do something. So I signed up as a volunteer.
When I signed up I thought I would be doing a lot of the dirty work but found out that the CNAs did most of that. Mostly it turned out they wanted people, especially young people to keep the kids company, play with them and showere them with as much attention as they wanted while their families weren't around. A lot of the time I would go to the play room and get a big bucket of legos dump them on some kids bed and build stuff with them or organized a monopoly game or help some kids put a puzzle together and since I was good at art I sometimes did art lessons with kids. Honestly, most of what I did was fun. I went there after school and usually stayed for about 2-4 hours depending on how much homework I had.
Most of the time I would hang out with the boys where were in the hospital since there were so many girl volunteers there were few boys who would hang out with the boy patiens who often prefered a guy be with them. But sometimes I organized a coed monopoly game or some other group activity.
One day I had put together a monopoly game with a 12 year old girl named Amy and a 9 year old girl Bethany and a 10 year old boy Ryan. We realized we liked playing together a lot so we did this almost every day for a few weeks. We all became really good friends. The one thing you learn when you make friends in a cancer clinic is that your heart will eventually break. Bethany got really sick and stopped going to the play room for our monopoly games so we took the game to her. Ryan and Amy were of course still quite sick but they could both roll around in a wheel chair so as I said we took the game to Bethany. But after a week she got way too sick to play then one day when I checked in on her, her bed was empty and one of the CNA's told me that she had passed away the night before. It fell upon me to bring the sad news to the others who had gotten to know her. Bryan took it hard as expected but he put on a brave face but Amy was torn apart.
I stayed with her for about 3 hours that day until she calmed down a bit and she stopped sobbing. After that I spent a lot of time with Amy as she had taken Bethany's death quite badly. After a while she eventually got back to her old usual cheerful self for the most part but I could tell that Bethany's death had affected her. We started to get kind of close though at first I did not think of her in a romantic sense. I was 15 and she was 12 and even with that relatively minor age difference most people I knew would have thought it wrong and most adults, especially parents would have reacted quite badly and besides it would be embarassing for me as well but after a while I started to have feelings for Amy. I tried really hard not to but she was such a beautiful girl and I don't mean just physically but inside as well. But I never made a move on her because I thought it was wrong.
Then one day she says "I wish I had such pretty hair like you have." That took me by surprise though I supose it shouldn't have since Amy was completely bald from losing all her hair from chemo. She hated the chemo hats that a lot of girls with cancer wore and also wouldn't wear a wig she said that if people didn't like the way she looked that was their problem. When she said that about my hair I told her I wish I could give it to her and she reminded me that was pointless since she wouldn't wear a wig and I said I meant I wished I could transplant it onto her head. When I said that she threw her arms around me and hugged me and thanked me for wantind to do that then she asked if she could play with my hair. Now under any other circumstance that might seem an unusual request but it seemed a perfectly normal one comming from a 12 year old who had none of her own. Now at this point a little explanation might be in order. You see, my hair was quite long and in fact since I also have something of a girly face (at least that is what some of the girls at school who have rejected my requests for a date have told me) I often got mistaken for a girl. So I told her sure and it turns out that it is really cool having a girl play with your hair. She took out her hair brush (some might think an odd thing for a bald cancer patient to have) and started to brush my hair. She put it in pigtails and then took the pigtails out and she braided my hair in a french braid then took that out and put it up in a glamorous looking updo then took that out and then tried curling it a bit with the hair brush then she said she wished she could see what she would look like with red hair like mine. So I had her sit on the bed and hold a mirror and then I got behind her and brushed all my hair over her head from behind and handed her back the brush. She then pulled it on her head a little and adjusted it and brushed it into place and played with it rearanging it this way and that and after she just turned around and threw her arms around me and hugged me and thanked me then pulled back and I could see she was crying a little so I hugged her back and she thanked me for letting her see what she would look like if she was pretty.
That made me cry that she thought she wasn't pretty so I told her she was very pretty and she said she wasn't because she had no hair. I kept trying to tell her she was pretty and beautiful and she kept acusing me of lying just to be nice to her and make her feel good. Then she went on about there was a boy she really liked but she knew he wouldn't like her because she was ugly from being bald. I told her that if he didn't like her due to lack of hair then he was an asshole and unworthy of her love. Well that pretty much ended the conversation since I had to leave as it was getting late and I kissed her forhead and bid her good night and went home.
The next day was Saturday which was when her parents drove up to the city a few hundred miles to visit and stay overnight in a hotel. They had to go back Sunday night but meanwhile I didn't feel it was appropriate for me to visit her on days her parents came since that was their time with her and there were still kids who had nobody comming that needed my attention.
On Monday I dropped buy to check in on her and she seemed cheered up as she usually did when her family came to visit and we chatted for a while then she said "remember when I told you there was a boy that I liked and I didn't think he liked me??" I said "yes I remember and I remember telling you he is an asshole if he doesn't like you for being bald." Then she asked "are you an asshole." "What??" I asked, "why would you think that??" and she said "because you're the boy I like and I want to know so I don't make you hate me." Well I have never figured out female logic even after all these years since I was 15 and I particularly was confused by it at 15 and the whole conversation was screwing with my head so I just asked her what she meant. I also had not quite gotten it threw my concrete lined skull what she had said about me likine her as I was still stuck on her asking if I was an asshole.
So anyway I asked what she was talking about and she repeated herself wording it differently so my addled brain would understand then I realized she was telling me that I was the boy she liked and forgot the asshole question and I just wrapped my arms around her and hugged her and told her that I still thougth she was beautiful and that I really meant it when I told her Friday. But I also told her that I was probably way to old for her and said that maybe in a few years when the age difference didn't matter and she burst into tears and said "I don't have a few years!" and I realized what a fucking idiot I was for saying such an insensative thing then hugged her again but she pushed me away and was pissed at me for my rejection of her. Then I lamely said that I would get in trouble and she said "fine, your just making excuses because you think I'm ugly." Then she kicked me out of her room.
Well I just mindlessly walked down the hallway feeling like a world class asshole and idiont and not knowing how to get out of this mess. the thint was I really liked her and had started to fall in love with her but I knew I just couldn't do anything about that because 15 year old high school sophmores just didn't and couldn't date 12 year old middle school kids. It wasn't just the embarassment of it or even the taboo of it, I really thought it was morally wrong for me to do it.
But I also understood the very real reality of the situation. Amy had a rare form of cancer and she knew that doctors were only just doing what they could to extend her life and make her comfortable but the fact is she was not going to survive the year and we all knew it.
That night I just said fuck it. Alone in bed I thought about Amy and what we said to each other and how bad I felt and I just said fuck it. fuck the law. Fuck society. Fuck cancer.
Tuesday after school I stopped at a florist and bought a dozen long stemmed red roses with some white carnations and baby's breath and bought a vase to go with it. I stopped off at home to make a card and compose a poem for her then aranged the flowers in the vase. I went out the corner store and bought a small box of chocolate truffels and took all that to the hospital that day. I had called to tell the volunteer coordinator that I would not be available to volunteer that day but would make up for it Wednesday. Then I headed up to her room. When I got there Amy was sulking staring at the TV blankly. At first she didn't react when I got in the room then she looked at what I was holding and I saw the spark come back in her eyes just a little. I sent the flowers on her table and handed her the candy and card and before she had time to open either I got down on my knees on the hospital floor and begged her to forgive me for being such an idiot and asshole and in the same sentence asked if she would go out on a date with me.
I forget how many times she said yes but it was a lot more than once and she reached down and pulled me to my feet (not really since she wasn't strong enough but she did tug and I did most of the actually getting up) and I bent over and she kissed me on the lips. Not a tongue kiss but it was definitely not just a friendly kiss and it lasted about 20 seconds. It was also the very first time a girl kissed me on the lips (not counting female relatives who gave me quick peck) I hopped up on the bed and while she opened the candy and the card. She read the poem and cried and hugged me and gave me another longer kiss and took out a truffel and broke it open and gave me half. She took a nibble. Chemo often makes you very sick and food sometimes makes you sick so when you are on chemo you never know what will make you puke until you take a taste. If it is something new you just take a tentative taste. Turns out that the chocolate with a cherry center suited her weak stomache just fine so then she just dug in. Any time you can get a cancer patien on chemo to eat anything that's a good thing. I went and fetched some milk for her to wash down the chocolates. When I came back she kissed me again and her roommate Diana told us to get a room and Amy said "we got one, close your eyes" Diana was 10 and named after princess diana and this was before princess Diana died.
So we talked about what kind of date we could go on since she was confined to the hospital and decided we could go to the quiet room. The quiet room was just off the play room and that was where kids could go to be alone for a while when they didn't want to be around anyone. It was really the crying room. A lot of kids needed to cry but didn't want anyone to know they were crying and the hospital staff long ago realized that a lot of kids needed a place, especially the older ones and especially the boys so they emptied out a storage room off the play room and put in a sofa and TV and an old stereo and even put a lock on the door so it could be locked from inside (the nurses had a key in case of emergencies) so we agreed that the quiet room was the best place to go and we made a date for that night. Then she told me to go so she could get ready. I came back at 7pm and she was sitting in her chair wearing her rarely used wig, had some make-up on and did her nails and was wearing a very pretty pink dress and sandels. She had told one of the CNAs that she had a date that night and the CNA helped her get ready. What I didn't know and Amy didn't know was by this point nearly the entire staff knew about our romance and it seems the last person to find out about our romance was actually me blind dumbass that I was.
So I put a rose in her wig and she put a carnation in my shirt pocket and I rolled her to the quiet room and inside and locked the door. I was surprised to find a pizza there with a couple of bottles of giner ale, a bowl of popcorn and a note from one of the CNAs saying "have fun you two but not too much fun" it was signed by the CNA who over saw the volunteers three nights a week.
I turned on the TV and found something interesting to watch on HBO and put my arm around my date. I told her she was amazingly pretty (Always reasure a female chemo patient about how pretty they are because most of the time they seem to think they are not due to lack of hair) She told me I was way prettier than she was and we both giggled. At some point I turned to her and kissed her on the mouth and she surprised me by slipping me some tongue and that was my first tongue kiss.
We must have kissed a dozen times then I realized something was bothering her and I asked her about it and she said that I hadn't tried to feel her up and she was upset because she thought that meant that I really didn't find her pretty and that I must have just been saying it to make her feel good but that it was really a lie. I told her that I didn't know she wanted me to and that I was trying to be a gentleman on our first date. She took my hand and put it on her tit and said "I don't want a gentleman. I want a stud." So I started to gently massage her tit and put my hand on the other one and leaned in and kissed her some more this time with every ounce of passion I had in me and surprisingly that ended up being a lot. I then put my hand on her knee and moved my hand up her dress and she spread her legs inviting me to go further and then put her hand right on my crotch and started to feel me up so I figured I had the green light and put my hand all the way up her dress to feel her and found she had no panties on which made me rock hard. I had never touched a girl there before or tits for that matter and the last time a girl touched my crotch I was having my diapers changed about 12 years earlier. Well one thing led to another and I was on my knees learning what pussy tasted like and discovering that 12 year old girls didn't have a lot of pubic hair and getting my neck massaged by two loving hands and then she started to make all kinds of weird noises and stiffened up and then pushed me away and I asked what I was doing wrong and she had a funny look on her face and said "nothing that was perfect, I think I just had my firs orgasm." We hugged and kissed some more and then a little while longer she asked if I wanted a blow job and I said she didn't have to if she didn't want to and she said she wanted to so I stood up on the couch so she didn't have to kneel on the floor which would be uncomfortable for her and she sucked me for a while then said "fuck me now please" I hesitated a little remembering that she was only 12 but then remembered too that she might never be old enough to fuck so I laid her on the couch and got on top and kissed her. She grabbed my cock and guided it inside her. I felt her hyman bust and then was pushing into her cervix and in a couple of minutes I was shooting sperm deep inside her. We lay that way with me inside her getting soft. She kissed me more said she loved me and thanked me for making her into a woman before she died.
We dated frequently after that and for a few more weeks and fucked every date but then she got really sick and died in my arms one Tuesday night.
At the funeral her Mom told me she knew about our romance and told me she was happy her daughter found love before she died and we cried together. I had felt guilty about what I did but her mom reasured me when she said that dying changes the rules. She gave me some pictures of her daugher and a letter to me that she found among Amy's things in the hospital. She had written her own poem to me and told me not to grieve for her and to find somebody to love and live a good long life and be happy. Her poem ended with the words: "my first, my last, my only, my forever love."
I think I cried for a month.
When I was 15 I started to volunteer at the children's cancer center where my sister was treated. I had to wait three years until I was old enough though I had wanted to volunteer when I was 12. I saw how my sister was but I also saw that a lot of kids did not get as much attention as my sister did. There were a lot of kids whose families lived far away and could only visit them once or twice a week, mostly on weekends. Most of the volunteers were girls and most were in their late teens and early twenties and most were planning to become nurses one day. I just wanted to help since the place had done so much for my sister. Plus I felt really bad about all the kids who were dying. I wanted to do something. So I signed up as a volunteer.
When I signed up I thought I would be doing a lot of the dirty work but found out that the CNAs did most of that. Mostly it turned out they wanted people, especially young people to keep the kids company, play with them and showere them with as much attention as they wanted while their families weren't around. A lot of the time I would go to the play room and get a big bucket of legos dump them on some kids bed and build stuff with them or organized a monopoly game or help some kids put a puzzle together and since I was good at art I sometimes did art lessons with kids. Honestly, most of what I did was fun. I went there after school and usually stayed for about 2-4 hours depending on how much homework I had.
Most of the time I would hang out with the boys where were in the hospital since there were so many girl volunteers there were few boys who would hang out with the boy patiens who often prefered a guy be with them. But sometimes I organized a coed monopoly game or some other group activity.
One day I had put together a monopoly game with a 12 year old girl named Amy and a 9 year old girl Bethany and a 10 year old boy Ryan. We realized we liked playing together a lot so we did this almost every day for a few weeks. We all became really good friends. The one thing you learn when you make friends in a cancer clinic is that your heart will eventually break. Bethany got really sick and stopped going to the play room for our monopoly games so we took the game to her. Ryan and Amy were of course still quite sick but they could both roll around in a wheel chair so as I said we took the game to Bethany. But after a week she got way too sick to play then one day when I checked in on her, her bed was empty and one of the CNA's told me that she had passed away the night before. It fell upon me to bring the sad news to the others who had gotten to know her. Bryan took it hard as expected but he put on a brave face but Amy was torn apart.
I stayed with her for about 3 hours that day until she calmed down a bit and she stopped sobbing. After that I spent a lot of time with Amy as she had taken Bethany's death quite badly. After a while she eventually got back to her old usual cheerful self for the most part but I could tell that Bethany's death had affected her. We started to get kind of close though at first I did not think of her in a romantic sense. I was 15 and she was 12 and even with that relatively minor age difference most people I knew would have thought it wrong and most adults, especially parents would have reacted quite badly and besides it would be embarassing for me as well but after a while I started to have feelings for Amy. I tried really hard not to but she was such a beautiful girl and I don't mean just physically but inside as well. But I never made a move on her because I thought it was wrong.
Then one day she says "I wish I had such pretty hair like you have." That took me by surprise though I supose it shouldn't have since Amy was completely bald from losing all her hair from chemo. She hated the chemo hats that a lot of girls with cancer wore and also wouldn't wear a wig she said that if people didn't like the way she looked that was their problem. When she said that about my hair I told her I wish I could give it to her and she reminded me that was pointless since she wouldn't wear a wig and I said I meant I wished I could transplant it onto her head. When I said that she threw her arms around me and hugged me and thanked me for wantind to do that then she asked if she could play with my hair. Now under any other circumstance that might seem an unusual request but it seemed a perfectly normal one comming from a 12 year old who had none of her own. Now at this point a little explanation might be in order. You see, my hair was quite long and in fact since I also have something of a girly face (at least that is what some of the girls at school who have rejected my requests for a date have told me) I often got mistaken for a girl. So I told her sure and it turns out that it is really cool having a girl play with your hair. She took out her hair brush (some might think an odd thing for a bald cancer patient to have) and started to brush my hair. She put it in pigtails and then took the pigtails out and she braided my hair in a french braid then took that out and put it up in a glamorous looking updo then took that out and then tried curling it a bit with the hair brush then she said she wished she could see what she would look like with red hair like mine. So I had her sit on the bed and hold a mirror and then I got behind her and brushed all my hair over her head from behind and handed her back the brush. She then pulled it on her head a little and adjusted it and brushed it into place and played with it rearanging it this way and that and after she just turned around and threw her arms around me and hugged me and thanked me then pulled back and I could see she was crying a little so I hugged her back and she thanked me for letting her see what she would look like if she was pretty.
That made me cry that she thought she wasn't pretty so I told her she was very pretty and she said she wasn't because she had no hair. I kept trying to tell her she was pretty and beautiful and she kept acusing me of lying just to be nice to her and make her feel good. Then she went on about there was a boy she really liked but she knew he wouldn't like her because she was ugly from being bald. I told her that if he didn't like her due to lack of hair then he was an asshole and unworthy of her love. Well that pretty much ended the conversation since I had to leave as it was getting late and I kissed her forhead and bid her good night and went home.
The next day was Saturday which was when her parents drove up to the city a few hundred miles to visit and stay overnight in a hotel. They had to go back Sunday night but meanwhile I didn't feel it was appropriate for me to visit her on days her parents came since that was their time with her and there were still kids who had nobody comming that needed my attention.
On Monday I dropped buy to check in on her and she seemed cheered up as she usually did when her family came to visit and we chatted for a while then she said "remember when I told you there was a boy that I liked and I didn't think he liked me??" I said "yes I remember and I remember telling you he is an asshole if he doesn't like you for being bald." Then she asked "are you an asshole." "What??" I asked, "why would you think that??" and she said "because you're the boy I like and I want to know so I don't make you hate me." Well I have never figured out female logic even after all these years since I was 15 and I particularly was confused by it at 15 and the whole conversation was screwing with my head so I just asked her what she meant. I also had not quite gotten it threw my concrete lined skull what she had said about me likine her as I was still stuck on her asking if I was an asshole.
So anyway I asked what she was talking about and she repeated herself wording it differently so my addled brain would understand then I realized she was telling me that I was the boy she liked and forgot the asshole question and I just wrapped my arms around her and hugged her and told her that I still thougth she was beautiful and that I really meant it when I told her Friday. But I also told her that I was probably way to old for her and said that maybe in a few years when the age difference didn't matter and she burst into tears and said "I don't have a few years!" and I realized what a fucking idiot I was for saying such an insensative thing then hugged her again but she pushed me away and was pissed at me for my rejection of her. Then I lamely said that I would get in trouble and she said "fine, your just making excuses because you think I'm ugly." Then she kicked me out of her room.
Well I just mindlessly walked down the hallway feeling like a world class asshole and idiont and not knowing how to get out of this mess. the thint was I really liked her and had started to fall in love with her but I knew I just couldn't do anything about that because 15 year old high school sophmores just didn't and couldn't date 12 year old middle school kids. It wasn't just the embarassment of it or even the taboo of it, I really thought it was morally wrong for me to do it.
But I also understood the very real reality of the situation. Amy had a rare form of cancer and she knew that doctors were only just doing what they could to extend her life and make her comfortable but the fact is she was not going to survive the year and we all knew it.
That night I just said fuck it. Alone in bed I thought about Amy and what we said to each other and how bad I felt and I just said fuck it. fuck the law. Fuck society. Fuck cancer.
Tuesday after school I stopped at a florist and bought a dozen long stemmed red roses with some white carnations and baby's breath and bought a vase to go with it. I stopped off at home to make a card and compose a poem for her then aranged the flowers in the vase. I went out the corner store and bought a small box of chocolate truffels and took all that to the hospital that day. I had called to tell the volunteer coordinator that I would not be available to volunteer that day but would make up for it Wednesday. Then I headed up to her room. When I got there Amy was sulking staring at the TV blankly. At first she didn't react when I got in the room then she looked at what I was holding and I saw the spark come back in her eyes just a little. I sent the flowers on her table and handed her the candy and card and before she had time to open either I got down on my knees on the hospital floor and begged her to forgive me for being such an idiot and asshole and in the same sentence asked if she would go out on a date with me.
I forget how many times she said yes but it was a lot more than once and she reached down and pulled me to my feet (not really since she wasn't strong enough but she did tug and I did most of the actually getting up) and I bent over and she kissed me on the lips. Not a tongue kiss but it was definitely not just a friendly kiss and it lasted about 20 seconds. It was also the very first time a girl kissed me on the lips (not counting female relatives who gave me quick peck) I hopped up on the bed and while she opened the candy and the card. She read the poem and cried and hugged me and gave me another longer kiss and took out a truffel and broke it open and gave me half. She took a nibble. Chemo often makes you very sick and food sometimes makes you sick so when you are on chemo you never know what will make you puke until you take a taste. If it is something new you just take a tentative taste. Turns out that the chocolate with a cherry center suited her weak stomache just fine so then she just dug in. Any time you can get a cancer patien on chemo to eat anything that's a good thing. I went and fetched some milk for her to wash down the chocolates. When I came back she kissed me again and her roommate Diana told us to get a room and Amy said "we got one, close your eyes" Diana was 10 and named after princess diana and this was before princess Diana died.
So we talked about what kind of date we could go on since she was confined to the hospital and decided we could go to the quiet room. The quiet room was just off the play room and that was where kids could go to be alone for a while when they didn't want to be around anyone. It was really the crying room. A lot of kids needed to cry but didn't want anyone to know they were crying and the hospital staff long ago realized that a lot of kids needed a place, especially the older ones and especially the boys so they emptied out a storage room off the play room and put in a sofa and TV and an old stereo and even put a lock on the door so it could be locked from inside (the nurses had a key in case of emergencies) so we agreed that the quiet room was the best place to go and we made a date for that night. Then she told me to go so she could get ready. I came back at 7pm and she was sitting in her chair wearing her rarely used wig, had some make-up on and did her nails and was wearing a very pretty pink dress and sandels. She had told one of the CNAs that she had a date that night and the CNA helped her get ready. What I didn't know and Amy didn't know was by this point nearly the entire staff knew about our romance and it seems the last person to find out about our romance was actually me blind dumbass that I was.
So I put a rose in her wig and she put a carnation in my shirt pocket and I rolled her to the quiet room and inside and locked the door. I was surprised to find a pizza there with a couple of bottles of giner ale, a bowl of popcorn and a note from one of the CNAs saying "have fun you two but not too much fun" it was signed by the CNA who over saw the volunteers three nights a week.
I turned on the TV and found something interesting to watch on HBO and put my arm around my date. I told her she was amazingly pretty (Always reasure a female chemo patient about how pretty they are because most of the time they seem to think they are not due to lack of hair) She told me I was way prettier than she was and we both giggled. At some point I turned to her and kissed her on the mouth and she surprised me by slipping me some tongue and that was my first tongue kiss.
We must have kissed a dozen times then I realized something was bothering her and I asked her about it and she said that I hadn't tried to feel her up and she was upset because she thought that meant that I really didn't find her pretty and that I must have just been saying it to make her feel good but that it was really a lie. I told her that I didn't know she wanted me to and that I was trying to be a gentleman on our first date. She took my hand and put it on her tit and said "I don't want a gentleman. I want a stud." So I started to gently massage her tit and put my hand on the other one and leaned in and kissed her some more this time with every ounce of passion I had in me and surprisingly that ended up being a lot. I then put my hand on her knee and moved my hand up her dress and she spread her legs inviting me to go further and then put her hand right on my crotch and started to feel me up so I figured I had the green light and put my hand all the way up her dress to feel her and found she had no panties on which made me rock hard. I had never touched a girl there before or tits for that matter and the last time a girl touched my crotch I was having my diapers changed about 12 years earlier. Well one thing led to another and I was on my knees learning what pussy tasted like and discovering that 12 year old girls didn't have a lot of pubic hair and getting my neck massaged by two loving hands and then she started to make all kinds of weird noises and stiffened up and then pushed me away and I asked what I was doing wrong and she had a funny look on her face and said "nothing that was perfect, I think I just had my firs orgasm." We hugged and kissed some more and then a little while longer she asked if I wanted a blow job and I said she didn't have to if she didn't want to and she said she wanted to so I stood up on the couch so she didn't have to kneel on the floor which would be uncomfortable for her and she sucked me for a while then said "fuck me now please" I hesitated a little remembering that she was only 12 but then remembered too that she might never be old enough to fuck so I laid her on the couch and got on top and kissed her. She grabbed my cock and guided it inside her. I felt her hyman bust and then was pushing into her cervix and in a couple of minutes I was shooting sperm deep inside her. We lay that way with me inside her getting soft. She kissed me more said she loved me and thanked me for making her into a woman before she died.
We dated frequently after that and for a few more weeks and fucked every date but then she got really sick and died in my arms one Tuesday night.
At the funeral her Mom told me she knew about our romance and told me she was happy her daughter found love before she died and we cried together. I had felt guilty about what I did but her mom reasured me when she said that dying changes the rules. She gave me some pictures of her daugher and a letter to me that she found among Amy's things in the hospital. She had written her own poem to me and told me not to grieve for her and to find somebody to love and live a good long life and be happy. Her poem ended with the words: "my first, my last, my only, my forever love."
I think I cried for a month.
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