Right now, I'm beginning to feel like my husband isn't interested in me anymore. I always have to initiate intimacy. He used to be interested every day; now he has to make an effort every three. I feel unattractive. I feel fat.

I shouldn't feel fat. I'm 5'8" and weigh 145 lbs, most of it muscle, but I look at myself in the mirror and I see saggy bits and I can't stand myself. I've had four babies, and I know it comes with the territory, but I look around and see all these board-flat abs and hot hot girls and I can't help but think he's looking at them and remembering that I used to look like that. Men do that. Men like hot; men hate saggy old women like me. I'm 34 years old and I'm well past my prime. I'm ugly where used to be I was just plain, and I'm not ever going to be attractive again.

I don't feel like I do enough, even though I work hard around the house all day. I can't seem to catch up on all the work. He's said I don't get things done. I try and try, but I can't get it done.

I'm a total failure, and right now I feel like the only solution is to work myself to death, literally. I want to stop eating enough. I want to work until my body can't take the strain anymore and shuts down. I want to die doing what I used to love, but now see I'm incompetent at doing.

Mostly, I want to get out of the way so he can find someone who pleases him more. I want to die in a way so the kids will remember I worked hard for them but just couldn't handle it. I want to tell him on my deathbed that he's free now, that he won't have the stigma of a divorce and can find someone better. I don't want to directly commit suicide, because that would be a sin, but I can't stand living anymore, knowing I'm such a failure.

Nobody has ever loved me; They say they love me, and they make an effort to fulfill their duties toward me because they're decent people, but the reality is I'm so unlovable I'm nothing but a burden. So I kind of have an obligation to get off the planet and let someone else take my place.