So, I posted here a few weeks ago. About my husbands cousin We have been intimate off and on for fourteen years He kissed me in my office a while ago and yesterday I asked why?? He said it's long overdue. He kissed me again. He says he loves me He would do anything for me. My husband doesnt even like me which is what led to my wandering. I need human contact and appreciation. Allen loves me, he touches me like no other. I am so comfortable with him. When we are in eachothers presence, there is like no one else in the room. I love him dearly. I could not imagine not having him in my life but I dont want to tell him that. I know my husband is seeing someone else. He wont touch me, or look at me. I am attractive and nice. I tried to get my husband to love me but it never happened, so I give up. I wish I could be with Allen, but I know I cant. I have loved him from a distance for fourteen years. He is kind and loving to me. My husband uses me for money. When I dont have it, he is angry. I cant even bring myself to try anymore. I recently became ill, It was Allen's love that made me want to fight to get better. I needed him. I want a divorce, not so much for Allen but for me and my kids. I dont want to continue to be verbally and emotionally abused by my husband. Pls. help.