Sometimes I want to murder you for being a psychotic bi-polar bitch, we've been together for so fucking long, what is it?? 4 years now?? I cheated with you twice, once with my co-worker and another with some south end chick from the bar. Look, I love you and want the best for you, it erks me when I bust my ass giving you all this emotional love and affection, protection and help, to be your best friend and partner, your so called hubby/boyfriend. I've had enough of you, look, I'm not an asshole, but when you start acting like a complete utter baby, or a total psychological bitch that makes me feel like I should kill myself. GROW UP. I know you've been hurt in the past,I would never lay a finger on you; but I had it with you and your undecidable way of making me feel like I'm the most sacred thing in your life, then make me feel like shit. I fucking hate you, but the sex is amazing, what happened to us?? Is it just sex now?? Your not even fun to talk to anymore, you used to turn me on by how mature and kind you were, and funny. Lately you've been childish, an evil bitch, but goddamn cute at the same time. I know you've been loyal to me, I'm sorry if I haven't been. Fuck you... It's your fault my sense of well being has been damaged, I don't care about your body and how hot you may be, the amazing sex, the blowjobs and the feisty feeling knowing I popped your cherry, I don't care about your abuse you had to endure when you had to grow up. I just miss how we used to be, I feel like I'm always there to pick up and clean this relationship up. You give me this false sense of hope that everything's going to be ok, you mesmerize me with how fucking good it feels to fuck you, make love, passion, everything. Then you bite like a snake and all your fucking problems I thought we were getting through or you were getting through, all seem to seep into my very soul, I feel like shit, but I can't get you out of my head, is it really the sex that's making me stay?? or is there more?? What happened to us?? I'm typing this as you sleep next to me. I told you I'd never hit you, I'd never force you to do anything you don't want, I'm still keeping my word because I still genuinely care, but please don't play with my fucking head like that, all this time, I'm trapped, I go, you kill yourself, I stay, I'm slowly dying inside. Fuck you. My co-worker and that chick at the bar reminded me of you, at least, before all this bullshit started happening. At least they somehow appreciate how I've helped them out, I wasn't asking for praise neither. I miss the old us, the equality, the love and joy. fuck you