Everything has been so out of control...

I'm a married guy that has gone a few times here and there over the years with other guys. I never feel right about it because of my spiritual beliefs... but I am a sexual addict, there is no way around it. I have had a lot of stress lately and that pretty much always flares up my not so proud wild side. Been reading porn stories (seriously want to be a feminized cuckold) and watching porn too... it built up to on this Monday I had taken off just because I stayed up so late reading porn and jerking off. So I drove to the adult bookstore... hoping for a hookup but those days are over... anyway, I have thought about it before and I finally did it... I bought a bottle of rush (going to go get it and hit it now... whoa... not I am rushing while writing) and then I drove to a place in Martinez Ca that is a known place to cruise guys... I think I knew the whole time what I was going to do but I felt like I was in denial. I got there and found some guy that was older than me and real good looking and I just flat out asked him if I could give him a blow job... it was VERY surreal... he got out of his car stood up and dropped his pants and I got on my knees and sucked him off... right there in the parking lot. He had a small dick (which I really like since I have a small mouth and they are easy to handle) so i went crazy on his dick... he was fresh and clean and got nice and hard and since it was short I could deepthroat him easy... and he shot his load right down my throat... it was incredible. He was so good looking, straight, married and discrete looking that I even gave him my phone number hoping he will call and use me some more.

But no... that is not all

I went back the next day and sucked a guy off in the bathroom and he just plunged a huge load down my throat... I couldn't believe how good this cum has tasted so far. I went back out to the parking lot... little later, another good looking older guy... he wants to take me up behind the water tank.... had me keep my hands behind my back pretending he had me tied up... and he grabbed my head and fucked my face... oh man, I loved his cum.

I SUCKED TWO COCKS IN ONE DAY... and I went back today but struck out but I will be back tomorrow.

I am such a cock sucking faggot whore, I wish I had one now.