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Anything Goes
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Straight Female / 34
I am a 34 year old virgin. Single. No boyfriend, and no possibility of such on the horizon either.
34. Did not know it would come so soon. This year I turn 35.
I refuse to sleep with someone without a serious commitment. Engagement, what have you.
I'm not ugly. 5'4 and 145 lbs. But the weight carries alright and I do not have much of a belly and am decent enough looking. Glasses, but they are not weird ones. Long dark brown hair. A Democratic agnostic who believes in spiritualism. I love games. Did the Warcraft thing but I mostly like role play games and ones that challenge the mind. Portals and skyrim were some of the best. I love sci-fi conventions and Renascence fairs. Listening to Celtic music in the car as well as pop and indi. Love Terry Pratchett, hate Twilight... and I like seeing animations because yes, I'm still young at heart in many ways. I think everyone can be. I'm tidy. Bathe regularly. Have a career, a decent enough life. Stable and secure.
It is early breaking morning, and I'm alone. As always.
And I can't help but feel I will never be able to get married. Have a kid or two. I'd like to have at least one child. And yet here I am alone. I was never able to get a boyfriend. Ever. I kissed a guy once.
Once.
When I was 18 I think and for some new-years party.
I can not help but wonder what the heck is wrong with me.
Don't want to sleep around. The thought of it makes me sick. Just want someone to hang out with, get to know. Maybe build a relationship. Online sites are full of guys who just want to get laid, or have no real drive to succeed. And I gotta say, someone who just wants to spend their money to sup up some car in their garage rather then plan on the future is a real turn-off.
Someone who would go to Renascence fairs, enjoy comedy and animations, with a relaxed flair for life. I thought I found someone once, or twice. When I was younger. But I ruined it one way or other. From then on, it seems guys just are not interested, or are taken. Usually it is because they are already taken.
And I'm tired. Depressed. Scared I'm going to grow old and alone. I'm already 35. I can't go back in life and tell myself to stop screwing up with being depressed and scared of getting close to other people. It may be my fault for waiting so long to start opening up to others. But even then. I tried over the past ten years to find someone, and it was always met with abysmal failure. Latest three attempts, they just stopped responding to messages. No explanation. No communication. Nothing.
No even 'I am just not interested in you so I'm not going to talk to you anymore'. So you wait for them to reply, but are left waiting.
I dunno.
So alone, at 34. And scared it is going to be like that forever. :/
34. Did not know it would come so soon. This year I turn 35.
I refuse to sleep with someone without a serious commitment. Engagement, what have you.
I'm not ugly. 5'4 and 145 lbs. But the weight carries alright and I do not have much of a belly and am decent enough looking. Glasses, but they are not weird ones. Long dark brown hair. A Democratic agnostic who believes in spiritualism. I love games. Did the Warcraft thing but I mostly like role play games and ones that challenge the mind. Portals and skyrim were some of the best. I love sci-fi conventions and Renascence fairs. Listening to Celtic music in the car as well as pop and indi. Love Terry Pratchett, hate Twilight... and I like seeing animations because yes, I'm still young at heart in many ways. I think everyone can be. I'm tidy. Bathe regularly. Have a career, a decent enough life. Stable and secure.
It is early breaking morning, and I'm alone. As always.
And I can't help but feel I will never be able to get married. Have a kid or two. I'd like to have at least one child. And yet here I am alone. I was never able to get a boyfriend. Ever. I kissed a guy once.
Once.
When I was 18 I think and for some new-years party.
I can not help but wonder what the heck is wrong with me.
Don't want to sleep around. The thought of it makes me sick. Just want someone to hang out with, get to know. Maybe build a relationship. Online sites are full of guys who just want to get laid, or have no real drive to succeed. And I gotta say, someone who just wants to spend their money to sup up some car in their garage rather then plan on the future is a real turn-off.
Someone who would go to Renascence fairs, enjoy comedy and animations, with a relaxed flair for life. I thought I found someone once, or twice. When I was younger. But I ruined it one way or other. From then on, it seems guys just are not interested, or are taken. Usually it is because they are already taken.
And I'm tired. Depressed. Scared I'm going to grow old and alone. I'm already 35. I can't go back in life and tell myself to stop screwing up with being depressed and scared of getting close to other people. It may be my fault for waiting so long to start opening up to others. But even then. I tried over the past ten years to find someone, and it was always met with abysmal failure. Latest three attempts, they just stopped responding to messages. No explanation. No communication. Nothing.
No even 'I am just not interested in you so I'm not going to talk to you anymore'. So you wait for them to reply, but are left waiting.
I dunno.
So alone, at 34. And scared it is going to be like that forever. :/
