When I was growing up I always had one favorite uncle. He was smarter and more handsome and more fun than any of my other relatives. When I was a little girl I was very possessive of him. He used to pick me up from school and carry me on his shoulders. I thought the world of him. When I was 5 we moved and I spent most of my childhood away from him only occasionally seeing him. I will stress now that he never touched me in any inappropriate way. It was always me who wanted to be carried on his shoulders or sit on his lap. I think he thought that my attention was funny and cute and I think he and my aunt laughed about it together. I never realized I had a crush on him I just knew that I liked him best.

When I was a lot older my parents moved closer back to the family. I was already in college but they were moving in the summer so I helped out. My Uncle came over to help since he's in real estate he'd pretty much arranged the whole thing for my parents. One day shortly after he'd arrived I was running up the stairs and I literally bumped into him coming out of the shower in just a towel. I's never noticed his body and he was now 40 but I couldn't take my eyes off him. That was the moment that the little girl crush, which wasn't really sexual at all, changed into a full blown adult desire. I stood with an open mouth with my eyes fixed on him for a full minute before either of us spoke. When that happened I just turned a deep shade of red and ran back down stairs.

I've often fantasied about that moment. Even though the second time it happened it seemed a lot worse, I kept my composure that time and just pulled a silly face at him. Maybe I even enjoyed that the second time I was more exposed to him as I'd taken a shower and was making my way back to my room. Passing each other in the hallway just wearing towels gave me a little rush but I felt torn and totally terrible. I loved my Aunt and believed incest was a sin. I felt like a silly girl and tried to bury the desire as deep as it could go. He was my cool Uncle and we were buddies, I should just have felt proud that he was in my family. These were the things I told myself. I felt pure shame.

My figure is quite different from the other women in my family they are a lot flatter and more boyish. I take more after the women on my father's side and I was very large busted with a flat stomach, curvy ass and tight body. I was quite proud of my figure and wore close fitting clothes quite a bit. I didn't do this to get his attention, it was just a phase I was going through. He didn't seem to be checking me out anyway and we continued as normal packing up my parents stuff.

Dad and Mom hired a big truck to haul most of the stuff to the new place and my Uncle and I stayed behind. I hadn't made up my mind about what I wanted to do yet. I had a lot of friends in the neighborhood and was thinking of staying with different friends and maybe hiring a car and going for a road trip before going to the new place. My Uncle was totally cool about this and let me know he'd be driving back in three or four days and I should let him know if I'd changed my mind and wanted a ride to the south.

I ran away for a few days but something deep in my gut had me call up my Uncle and ask if I could drive back with him. He said sure and told me I should bring my stuff to sleep in my old house one last time as he was leaving early the next day. That evening he took me out to dinner. I remember him introducing me to all kinds of new food. We laughed and talked and I opened up a bit about my love life and he told me about getting together with my Aunt. I felt really close and comfortable with him, even more than before. As we drove back we talked more and he found out I wasn't a virgin. He gave me advice about some things and made me feel really grown up. It was great.

When we arrived I had time to let the reality of his life and mine sink in. I couldn't quite except how strong and wrong my feelings were and became depressed. I didn't want to leave my room and cried quite a few nights feeling like a horrible evil creature and I knew my Aunt could tell I was attracted to my Uncle. I really loved her and that made my feelings seems even worse.

When I went back to College in the fall I swore I wouldn't ever go and see him again. I spoke to him on the phone sometimes and as I got older I realized a few of his faults and he fell off his pedestal. He was shocked and angry at some of my behavior as a grew up but I didn't hide anything. I still loved him in that crazy unconditional way I had as a little girl. He came to visit with my little sister once when I was working as a waitress in the city. I know that she has grown up around him more and doesn't think he's anything special. He stared at me the whole time. I felt guilty to look at him. It was like he wanted to touch me but couldn't. I thought maybe it was me imagining that he was looking at me as if he wanted me. I touched myself a lot after that meeting and again swore I would stay away from him.

We met once more at a family funeral. He took me to one side and with a fixed gaze and a dry thought asked me if I remembered the summer where we'd moved house. He asked me if I remembered our conversations when we'd talked about all "kinds of things". I was embarrassed. We weren't in a private place when he asked and I felt so ashamed, I just brushed it off. But finally I saw that he knew of my attraction to him and reciprocated it. When he left I gave him a huge hug and pressed my body into him. I saw then that he was just a good guy. He'd wanted me as I had wanted him but he never acted on it. I didn't feel ashamed anymore because all I'd ever done was try and respect my Aunt. I couldn't help these feelings for him. They might seem wrong in the eyes of society but they were and are very natural and nothing to be ashamed of.

I confess dear Uncle I love you very much, I respect you and I am very deeply sexually attracted to you. Of course I remember our conversations. I have often wished that I lived in a world where it was possible that you could have taught me everything I would need to know about sex. I know you sometimes fantasize about me and I'd like you to know I'm glad that you do, I also fantasize about you. I think we are allowed that! I'm not put off by anything I know about you, though you imagine that you have a tight hold on your image, I know much more than you'd probably be comfortable with. I know you've talked about me too much and other people in the family suspect something. In fact one other Uncle, not so innocent himself looks at me as if I'm a whorish temptress but it's nearly always hypocrites who behave like him, I'm quite respectable these days. I know that in the family I am the exotic black sheep, being frowned on by men who's youths were more patchy than mine.

I often fantasize that my favorite Uncle comes to visit me in secret and that I get finally to love him in the way my adult body has longed since I saw him on the stairs. I know it will never happen. Loyalty, respect and honor have prevented us from living out our desires. When I read stories and confessions about Uncles and Nieces it gets me hot. I know that if things were different (no Aunt - or different more sexually permissible society) if he'd always been clear, direct and honest and always let me take the lead (never forced or asked for anything) I would never have felt damaged by having a sexual relationship with him. This is my secret, thank you for reading.