My dad doesnt understand me. That itself isn't so bad, its just that he goes out of his way to show me he doesnt care to understand me. I plan to kill myself if things dont get better. i want my death to be as gruesome as possible, to inflict as much emotional pain to him as possible. Ive thought of a few things, one being hang myself in front of his bedroom door overnight so when he wakes up and leaves his room for work and opens his door, he see's my lifeless body hanging in front of his fucking face. another fantasy i have is to go into his room when hes asleep and lie down next to him, without waking him up. id get right in front of his face with mine and i pull out a gun and blow my brains all over his face so when he wakes up in shock from the noise, he has a hard time comprehending why im lying next to him with a hole in my head and blood all over the bed. the only regret i'd have from pulling either scenario out is that i wouldnt get to see his reaction. i really hate living.