I got together with my current boyfriend specifically because I knew his last girlfriend left him. She left him because he was very abusive, and I knew this, that's why I went to him. I have a fetish for being controlled and abused by someone who legitimately does not care about me.

The first thing I said to him was that he could do anything he wanted to me and I wouldn't leave, and that I would do anything he told me to do, though some things might take some... encouragement. The first thing he asked me was whether I liked anal or not, and when I said no he pushed me down and fucked my ass. He likes to punch me in the stomach while I'm tied up, or punch me in the face while he's fucking me. Sometimes I like to just strip naked and piss him off so he'll not only beat the shit out of me, but fuck me afterward when I'm horny from being beaten.

It's more than just physical though. A lot of times he'll record me degrading myself, calling myself names. My friends, the ones I have left, know about my fetish. He likes to make me tell them how much of a useless fuck hole I am, or call my parents and have a conversation while he's fucking me or worse. Any time we stay in a hotel he makes me lick the toilet clean before he uses it.

One time when we were driving back home from a friends house, which was a long distance away from home through a forest, we got out and he fucked me against a tree. I had stripped down, and he took my clothes when he got back in the car and drove off without me. I walked back home naked through a forest and it was night time before I got there. When I got back the first thing I did was give him a blowjob.