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When I Was A Kid
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Straight Male / 22
Technically, I am a child abuser.
I started masturbating at the age of 12 even before I would cum. That too without any knowledge of what masturbation was. I used to listen about sex from my friends since when I was 10 but was not particularly sure what sex exactly is. When I used to imagine what sex is from the little bits of information I had, I used to get arousal and I found pleasure in playing with my penis. When I first started to cum (I guess a few months after I started masturbating) I didn't really know what it was.
Even by 14, I had very little knowledge about sex and I had lifted the skirt and looked at my 8 year old neighbor's vagina just to confirm to myself how it looks. There, I can call myself a child abuser, no???????? I had thoughts and perfectly executable plans about raping (Not violently, though) her too. She wouldn't know what I did. Fortunately I didn't, out of fear.
The next three years I had spent fantasizing nearly ALL the females I would frequently see. Irrespective of age. That included most of my female teachers. Only my sis and mom were exception by that time. My sis is three years younger than me. When I was 15, I reached peaks of being sexually active. When I noticed my sister masturbate, I started fantasizing her too. I would have fucked my neighbor - married woman or the dance teacher in my school if I had the slightest chance. I think they were okay too - there were signs. My parents were too protective.
My maid was too sexy I used to stare at her all the time. I used to give dash her while walking around in my house whenever I could, and tried to get the best possible view when she used to bend. I thought she was okay too since she didn't complain for so long. Once she warned and I stopped. I forcibly groped the younger maid-girl in my grandmother's house. All of this - before the age of 16.
After that I improved a lot. But I didn't have sex till now and that led to sexual frustration . So much that currently I fantasize my best and only friend. She looks like seducing me many times but when I give the slightest hint, she gets real angry with me. I couldn't stop getting attracted to her so I decided to stop talking to her altogether. I have no other friends that I feel close to heart and so I feel real lonely now. I guess I can't help.
Added to all this, being in India I don't see a near possibility of me getting laid either. I have to settle down in a job if I have to get laid which I don't want to. I am dying in the mental conflict and guilt. I wish I would die in an accident.
I started masturbating at the age of 12 even before I would cum. That too without any knowledge of what masturbation was. I used to listen about sex from my friends since when I was 10 but was not particularly sure what sex exactly is. When I used to imagine what sex is from the little bits of information I had, I used to get arousal and I found pleasure in playing with my penis. When I first started to cum (I guess a few months after I started masturbating) I didn't really know what it was.
Even by 14, I had very little knowledge about sex and I had lifted the skirt and looked at my 8 year old neighbor's vagina just to confirm to myself how it looks. There, I can call myself a child abuser, no???????? I had thoughts and perfectly executable plans about raping (Not violently, though) her too. She wouldn't know what I did. Fortunately I didn't, out of fear.
The next three years I had spent fantasizing nearly ALL the females I would frequently see. Irrespective of age. That included most of my female teachers. Only my sis and mom were exception by that time. My sis is three years younger than me. When I was 15, I reached peaks of being sexually active. When I noticed my sister masturbate, I started fantasizing her too. I would have fucked my neighbor - married woman or the dance teacher in my school if I had the slightest chance. I think they were okay too - there were signs. My parents were too protective.
My maid was too sexy I used to stare at her all the time. I used to give dash her while walking around in my house whenever I could, and tried to get the best possible view when she used to bend. I thought she was okay too since she didn't complain for so long. Once she warned and I stopped. I forcibly groped the younger maid-girl in my grandmother's house. All of this - before the age of 16.
After that I improved a lot. But I didn't have sex till now and that led to sexual frustration . So much that currently I fantasize my best and only friend. She looks like seducing me many times but when I give the slightest hint, she gets real angry with me. I couldn't stop getting attracted to her so I decided to stop talking to her altogether. I have no other friends that I feel close to heart and so I feel real lonely now. I guess I can't help.
Added to all this, being in India I don't see a near possibility of me getting laid either. I have to settle down in a job if I have to get laid which I don't want to. I am dying in the mental conflict and guilt. I wish I would die in an accident.
