When I was in my middle teens I lived out in the boonies on a small ranch. My family worked the ranch in exchange for living there. It was a fair enough trade. The land was absolutely beautiful and we all enjoyed working out of doors. Especially us kids. The only problem was that we were completely alone out there. The nearest neighbors were several miles away and just going to school meant a ninety minute bus ride. Dealing with puberty and a maturing body in those conditions meant a lot of masturbation.
But then one of my uncle's passed away and his son who was only a couple of years younger than myself came to live with us permanently. I can't say I'd ever really had a gay thought in my life. All my sexual fantasies to that point had been centered around women I'd seen on television (particularly on MTV - it was the late 80's and MTV figured prominently in my life). But that changed when Donnie moved in.
He was short and lean with shoulder length dirty blonde hair and big blue eyes. Although also in his teens he still had a lot of baby fat in his face, rounding his cheeks. He was more effeminate than I or my older brother. He looked and felt soft and delicate. He hadn't grown up working like we had. And he tended to be a mama's boy often following our mom around and being babied both because he had lost his father (our mom's little brother) and because it had been quite a while since our mom had gotten to baby anyone. Donnie ate the attention up, having grown up without a mother figure of his own (his real mother had abandoned he and his father both when he'd still been in diapers).
Neither my father nor my older sister liked Donnie very much. My father disliked him because right off he struck him as "funny". My father would crack gay jokes about him to my brother and I and he'd often admonish our mother to stop babying him and let him be a man. As for my sister I never really understood the source of her dislike. She just didn't care for him.
About six months after Donnie moved down to the ranch my older brother announced he was leaving soon for the Army. He was going to take his basic training and would afterward to embarking upon his career in the military, following in our father's footsteps. We had a big barbecue. Dad couldn't have been prouder. I was pretty jazzed too. It meant I'd be allowed to finally have my older brother's room. Up until then I'd been sleeping on a couch in the living room every night, being the low man on the totem pole (youngest). When Donnie arrived he's grabbed a chunk of floor across from me along with a blanket and pillow.
The night of the barbecue after everyone had eaten their fill of pork, chicken and potato salad and gone either to sleep it off or lounge in front of the tv, I noticed that neither my brother nor Donnie were around. So being a curious kid I went looking for them.
I found them out behind the barn. Donnie was on his knees giving my brother a blowjob. I just stood there in my spot, hidden away from them watching Donnie's head bobbing up and down at a steady pace while my brother leaned back clearly gratified and guided our cousin's head with one hand clamped firmly onto all that flowing blonde hair.
"Oh fuck," I heard my brother groan. "I'm gonna cum."
Then he came into Donnie's open mouth and Donnie swallowed it, wiping a little that had spattered his cheek away with one finger and slinging it away.
I scurried back to the house and was in the bathroom masturbating furiously when I heard the front door open and my older brother loudly and pleasantly ask where the leftovers were, he was hungry again. While Donnie tried the bathroom knob and I told him I was busy and would be out in a moment.
All that night I lay in the dark with a hardon and ran the scene over and over again in my head. I listened to Donnie sleeping across from me and saw his pale outline and I wanted him too. It suddenly occured to me that a room wouldn't be the only thing I'd inherit when my brother left for the Army.
Finally the day my brother left came and went and it was about a week later. Donnie and I were finished with our work for the day and had just finished a supper of my mom's famous chicken and dumplings when I suggested we walk to the little crawfish pond a ways beyond the ranch. It was a nice early evening, still light out but cooling with a gentle breeze wafting. Perfect for a walk.
When we got to the pond we started skipping rocks and I told him I'd seen him and my brother. He tried to deny it at first, but I had him dead to rights. He stood there cheeks burning, head lowered.
"I ain't gonna tell anyone if that's what your worried about," I told him. "Not if you'll do the same for me anyway."
He looked at me. "Huh??"
"Maybe you haven't noticed," I said, skipping a rock. "But there aren't any women out here besides my mom and sister. That means I've just been shit out of luck my whole life. So if you'll do the same for me as you were doing for my brother, I won't say anything."
He considered it, then nodded. "Ok."
"How did you two start doing all that anyway??" I asked, curious.
He shrugged. "One night he just asked me too. He told me he wanted to show me something out in the barn and when we got out there he closed the doors and told me he knew I was gay. He said everybody knew it. Told me he'd make my life here hell if I didn't do it. He unzipped his pants and I just sucked his dick. I'd never done it before. Nearly puked when he came in my mouth."
"Are you gay??" I asked.
"No," he said. "I like girls."
"I'm not either," I told him. "And I'm sorry he did that to you. Nobody thinks your gay. Well, dad does but he's an asshole."
"Tell me about it," he sighed.
"It's just there aren't any girls out here and you are pretty," I said. "I'm serious. You're really cute."
He smiled. "Think so??"
"Hell yeah," I skipped another rock. "If we lived in a town me and you could go find a couple chicks and double date. But we don't. We're stuck out here."
"I know," he said. "It sucks."
"So I don't see any harm in the two of us being together," I said. "Do you??"
"Would you really tell if I said no," he asked.
"No," I admitted. "I'm sorry I said I would. That's no better than what was done to you before. I just really want us to be together."
"Then I've got no problem with it," he said. "If it isn't forced, then I'm fine with it. I want to be with you too. Your a lot cuter than your brother."
I laughed.
"Come here," I said, smiling. He came to me and we kissed. I brushed a thick lock of his gorgeous hair back with my hand. "Damn your fine."
He blushed a little. "Want me to give you head??"
I nodded. "When your done, I'm gonna suck your dick too."
"Really??" He smiled.
"Yeah," I caressed his face. Then we were kissing again. Finally he dropped down to his knees and unsnapped my jeans.
When he was finished, my cum swallowed. I sank down on my knees out there amongst high the milkweeds and cattails and I pulled the camouflage pants he wore down to his shins. He wore no underwear and his hard cock sprang out for attention. It was longer than mine but thin and smooth and warm to the touch. I licked and sucked his balls before turning to his shaft and finally head. Before long he was moaning while I mimicked his own head bobbing motion, swirling my tongue around his cock. He exploded in my mouth without warning. And I decided that maybe I was gay afterall. Because I loved this. I let his jizz set in my mouth a moment, tasting it. Then I swallowed and kissed his cock a few final times before standing.
"I...think I'm in love with you," he sighed.
I laughed and kissed him on the mouth, then we walked back home in the dark.
We carried on like that for months and eventually began swiping little jars of Vaseline and experimenting with anal sex. It was painful and slow going at first. But eventually we lost our virginity to one another, taking turns riding the other and cumming inside of each other.
But then my father got sick and died and we lost our place on the ranch. Medical bills and other expenses piled up around us and both my sister and I eventually decided to leave home to reduce the strain on mom. Donnie too decided to go his own way and so not long after my eighteenth birthday, we made love for the last time in a slummy little rental home in a not so nice section of Fresno. He told me that I'd always be his man, no matter where our lives took us. I told him he'd always own a piece of my heart. A few days later I left for college in Idaho and about a year later when he turned seventeen he just up and left one morning. We'd find out later he'd ended up working on a ranch in Oregon (he'd also marry the rancher's daughter and have 3 girls of his own).
I'm still not married, still no kids. Forty years old as of this writing. I've dated women exclusively since Donnie and maybe that's why none of my relationships last very long. What I want is that blue eyed, dirty blonde. leanly muscled boy from my teen years.