I know this is going to sound pathetic, or sad, but I have succeeded finally at my only goal since I was old enough to know what sex was. I have erased myself as a person. Outside of this confession, I have completely objectified myself. Everything I've done, everything I do is calculated based on how much I believe a man would enjoy it as opposed to my own wishes. I have completely forgotten everything I personally enjoy, any wishes my child self had, and replaced them with the drive to do exactly what men want me to do.

I'm on camera nearly 24/7, during which time everything I do is exaggerated so the men watching will enjoy it most. I don't even orgasm unless one of my viewers requests it. I have a closet full of sex toys of various sizes, and I use them often. I don't even remember if I've ever enjoyed anal or not, but it doesn't matter because I'll readily ram the largest dildo I own into my ass if someone will enjoy watching it. My physical appearance is for them as well, I've never felt truly comfortable in any of the clothes I wear but I wear what my viewers and the other men around me think I should wear. I keep my hair and makeup done as they feel appropriate. I even got breast implants (really good ones, most people can't even tell) because guys kept telling me my breasts were too small.

During sex it's all about him. He does what he likes, I act how he wants me to act when he does it and unless he enjoys "pleasing" me, I never complain about discomfort/pain and especially not when I don't have an orgasm. I've been able to force down my feelings of disgust whenever I've been asked to do something disgusting, and I now do them with as much conviction as I do everything else.

"I" have ceased to be a human being. "I" am no longer "I". "I" do not exist. All that exists of what was once me is an object painstakingly crafted for the enjoyment of men (and some women, this object does not permit itself the right to judge others). This object now exists solely to be ogled, used, and abused. Some women are fleetingly treated as objects by advertisements, their employers, or so on. This one has turned itself completely into a living, breathing personification of objectification.