This isn't lurid, criminal or (to most anyone) particularly interesting, but I have to put it out there.
OK, to start, I installed a dancer's pole in my bedroom at my wife's request. This is not the embarrassing part, nor is it the confession. My wife goes to classes and the classes are her workout, so to practice she got the pole. it isn't a marital aid, or really anything other than an oddity. The little kids come over and play with it and our friends have a good laugh. That's about it.
Next -- I'm fast approaching 40, but mentally, I still think of myself as a kid. I do silly kid stuff and try not to feel much older than 15 because, hey, why should I?
So I came upstairs to sit with my elder daughter and help her do some work and I saw that the floor was wet. We have a woman come in once a week (a confession I feel more embarrassed by than my own puerility or the presence of a stripper's pole in my room) and when she washes the floor she leaves them rather wet. I decided to amuse my child and make a game of hopping between the wet areas on my way to the computer. As I approached the corner of the bed, I decided to jump, catch hold of the pole, swing around and use the momentum to fling me on to the bed. No doubt, I'd be a hero in my daughter's eyes and it would be fun.
I aimed. I jumped, and i missed. Not the kind of misss where i was totally off and the poll went sliding by, but more of a direct hit than a miss. My knee (my old man creaky knee which is what constantly reminds me that no matter what smarmy t-shirt I put on and what jeans I wear, I'm not a teen ager) made incredible contact with the pole. And i don't mean incredible in a good way. I spun around and crawled onto the bed and suffered for a while.
As I hobbled around the house a couple of hours later I wondered "how will i ever explain to anyone who asks why I'm limping?" I decided that the honest answer, something like "well, when I was avoiding the wet spot on the floor of my bedroom and tried to spin on the stripper pole and jump onto the bed next to my daughter" would get me grief and probably arrested. So I'm open to better suggestions.
OK, to start, I installed a dancer's pole in my bedroom at my wife's request. This is not the embarrassing part, nor is it the confession. My wife goes to classes and the classes are her workout, so to practice she got the pole. it isn't a marital aid, or really anything other than an oddity. The little kids come over and play with it and our friends have a good laugh. That's about it.
Next -- I'm fast approaching 40, but mentally, I still think of myself as a kid. I do silly kid stuff and try not to feel much older than 15 because, hey, why should I?
So I came upstairs to sit with my elder daughter and help her do some work and I saw that the floor was wet. We have a woman come in once a week (a confession I feel more embarrassed by than my own puerility or the presence of a stripper's pole in my room) and when she washes the floor she leaves them rather wet. I decided to amuse my child and make a game of hopping between the wet areas on my way to the computer. As I approached the corner of the bed, I decided to jump, catch hold of the pole, swing around and use the momentum to fling me on to the bed. No doubt, I'd be a hero in my daughter's eyes and it would be fun.
I aimed. I jumped, and i missed. Not the kind of misss where i was totally off and the poll went sliding by, but more of a direct hit than a miss. My knee (my old man creaky knee which is what constantly reminds me that no matter what smarmy t-shirt I put on and what jeans I wear, I'm not a teen ager) made incredible contact with the pole. And i don't mean incredible in a good way. I spun around and crawled onto the bed and suffered for a while.
As I hobbled around the house a couple of hours later I wondered "how will i ever explain to anyone who asks why I'm limping?" I decided that the honest answer, something like "well, when I was avoiding the wet spot on the floor of my bedroom and tried to spin on the stripper pole and jump onto the bed next to my daughter" would get me grief and probably arrested. So I'm open to better suggestions.
