Straight Male / 19
Okay, so I'm only getting in to this because I'm sitting in the living room of my Dad's house now and I'm extremely horny. College is over for the year and I've been back here so far for the summer. I can't stop thinking about the two chicks I banged the past two semesters and the third I almost but not quite got all the way with. That last chick leads to one story that is so ridiculous and gives me such an ego boost that I guess I need to tell it.
During most of the fall semester I was pretty diligent about going to classes and studying, I was kind of serious about not smoking as much pot as I had in high school and not getting arrested for it as I had once. But gradually that all went out the window because the school I go to (I'm not going to name it. It's somewhere in the midwest.), is one of the hardest partying institutions in the country. By the end of December I was crashing my bike in to the side of the student lounge because I was drunk-biking and getting written up by the campus cops for playing beer pong outside, in the parking lot, with four other people. I was/am ridiculous.
One of the people I played beer pong with was named Janis, and we first hooked up in December. I felt her boobs and made out with her, not much else. She dressed in her Catholic school uniform regularly, still, and had red very Irish hair. She was very Irish in general. The next time we met was in January, a little bit after I'd gotten back to campus. I saw her in the student lounge after class and we ended up sitting and eating lunch together. We shot the shit for a while and then she asked if I wanted to take a walk with her. I was like, "sure." We walked around in the cold over to her dorm and I led her to her door. As soon as we got to her door, she pulled me in and we kissed again. Next thing you know, I'm on the top of her bunk bed, naked except for my boxers and she's naked except for the insane tan lines on her skin left by her bra and panties, even in winter, that were basically recognized as her clothes, to I'm certain many other men my age. And I'm doing a rotating pattern of sucking on the nipples of her tits while she runs her fingers through my hair like I'm a fucking pet dog, and tells me to go down on her.
Look, I wasn't a virgin at this time. I'd been with a couple girls in high school. I had started realizing that if you let girls know you don't give a shit about them, they will want to fuck your brains out. So I did that. I'd just never cared enough to seriously eat a girl's vagina. I just thought that was kind of gross. But Janis asked me to and she sounded so fucking sexy saying it I almost came on her leg. I looked down between her tips at the ridge of brown pubic hair that my tongue had just been commissioned to climb and claim for its country. I just sort of let my tongue droop out while I moved down her belly-- I noticed she had a little bit of pudge coming in-- and started licking her steep, odorous vagina. I'd seen in pornos that you were supposed to get right in there and also finger her. So I slipped a couple fingers in after tongue-soloing it for a few minutes. Jesus Christ she was wet. She squirmed her legs around and every time her thighs brushed against my cheeks or my ears I got a little more of a boner. Janis started making these sounds your supposed to make in church. If I spelled it out, it would look like any other female pleasure sound, but let's say it sounded like she'd just heard that Jesus himself would be making a guest appearance at church that day. I kept fingering/licking her and her thighs pivoted upward more and more, and she started to clench my head and then let go, the clench it again. I suddenly realized; "This is great. I love eating pussy. The End." Her vulva was just, like, caving around my mouth when I felt my phone buzz. (My leg was on it). I drew my face away but kept two fingers swirling around in the great pink wilderness so that she would think I was just giving my mouth a break. I saw a text message from my friend that said are we meeting in McDougal's at noon. Shit, I was supposed to meet James at McDougals. I quickly punched in, 'Nope, can't do it.' I paused and thought, and punched in; "I'm eating pussy." I set my phone down and saw that Janis was staring down at me with the same expression as when she gets a question wrong in class, except redder. She said "Dennis...get off your phone. Stay with me." I just looked at her for a second and then dove back in to her muff. Whatever the fluids are that make a girl's vagina wet?? I think they were getting in my nose. Her pussy was an army.
Janis moaned very loudly three times and did the most perfect goddam thing ever-- she fumbled a hand on to my forehead and cocked my head back so I could look at her face while her thighs bounced off my shoulders. She held my like that for just a few seconds-- long enough for me to get one of my brilliant, deranged ideas. I grabbed my iPhone from beside my leg, pressed the camera app and snapped a picture of her, with her head cocked back, her mouth half open, her massive tits jangling on either corner--they were like, trashy, future soccer mom tits-- and her very Irish dimples basically having a staring contest with me, as if to say, 'Are ye having as blarney of a time as Janis, bogle??'
After I took the picture, I reached up and touched Janis' cheek with one hand, as if to say I was also a strong, sentimental lover and she let me hold the side of her face for a few seconds. Then she smacked my hand away and completely changed tempo. She screamed, "Fuck you, Dennis, fuck you!" I tried to look confused and said; "What??" "Take your fucking phone away from me, fuck you, Oh My God, I thought I could trust you, Oh my God, what is wrong with me..." She hit me with her pillow, prompting me to get off (not like that). For a while I thought it was a game she was playing and was really saying she wanted to fuck me, but when she threw my phone across the room I got the actual drift. I grabbed my phone and told her, okay, I guess I misread your singles, wow, way to tell a dude you hate him. She yelled at me fuck you again as I opened her door and bolted out. Don't think I wanted to be caught dead on an all girls floor with a scary lesbian RA.
For a while, I worried that my phone was broken, but guess what?? Good news! It isn't! I still have those pictures of Janis or rather Janis' tits, nape and chin. I look at the photo and think it's actually kind of masterful, sort of like something Robert Mapplethorp would have done if he were straight and ate pussy. No, I indeed was not having as blarney of a time as Janis, though perhaps I would have had she sucked me cock. I'm thinking that, quality aside, they look exactly like the type of photos you would find in Playboy or something more hardcore. Or even certain Victoria's Secret ads. So I've actually written to Playboy and Victoria's Secret asking if they want the pic for $20,000 and I think I'll solicit a couple other places too. Then maybe I can pay for my college education in a world where so many young people are left in crushing debt that will be passed down to future generations and our government is failing to take action on. Wish me luck.
D
During most of the fall semester I was pretty diligent about going to classes and studying, I was kind of serious about not smoking as much pot as I had in high school and not getting arrested for it as I had once. But gradually that all went out the window because the school I go to (I'm not going to name it. It's somewhere in the midwest.), is one of the hardest partying institutions in the country. By the end of December I was crashing my bike in to the side of the student lounge because I was drunk-biking and getting written up by the campus cops for playing beer pong outside, in the parking lot, with four other people. I was/am ridiculous.
One of the people I played beer pong with was named Janis, and we first hooked up in December. I felt her boobs and made out with her, not much else. She dressed in her Catholic school uniform regularly, still, and had red very Irish hair. She was very Irish in general. The next time we met was in January, a little bit after I'd gotten back to campus. I saw her in the student lounge after class and we ended up sitting and eating lunch together. We shot the shit for a while and then she asked if I wanted to take a walk with her. I was like, "sure." We walked around in the cold over to her dorm and I led her to her door. As soon as we got to her door, she pulled me in and we kissed again. Next thing you know, I'm on the top of her bunk bed, naked except for my boxers and she's naked except for the insane tan lines on her skin left by her bra and panties, even in winter, that were basically recognized as her clothes, to I'm certain many other men my age. And I'm doing a rotating pattern of sucking on the nipples of her tits while she runs her fingers through my hair like I'm a fucking pet dog, and tells me to go down on her.
Look, I wasn't a virgin at this time. I'd been with a couple girls in high school. I had started realizing that if you let girls know you don't give a shit about them, they will want to fuck your brains out. So I did that. I'd just never cared enough to seriously eat a girl's vagina. I just thought that was kind of gross. But Janis asked me to and she sounded so fucking sexy saying it I almost came on her leg. I looked down between her tips at the ridge of brown pubic hair that my tongue had just been commissioned to climb and claim for its country. I just sort of let my tongue droop out while I moved down her belly-- I noticed she had a little bit of pudge coming in-- and started licking her steep, odorous vagina. I'd seen in pornos that you were supposed to get right in there and also finger her. So I slipped a couple fingers in after tongue-soloing it for a few minutes. Jesus Christ she was wet. She squirmed her legs around and every time her thighs brushed against my cheeks or my ears I got a little more of a boner. Janis started making these sounds your supposed to make in church. If I spelled it out, it would look like any other female pleasure sound, but let's say it sounded like she'd just heard that Jesus himself would be making a guest appearance at church that day. I kept fingering/licking her and her thighs pivoted upward more and more, and she started to clench my head and then let go, the clench it again. I suddenly realized; "This is great. I love eating pussy. The End." Her vulva was just, like, caving around my mouth when I felt my phone buzz. (My leg was on it). I drew my face away but kept two fingers swirling around in the great pink wilderness so that she would think I was just giving my mouth a break. I saw a text message from my friend that said are we meeting in McDougal's at noon. Shit, I was supposed to meet James at McDougals. I quickly punched in, 'Nope, can't do it.' I paused and thought, and punched in; "I'm eating pussy." I set my phone down and saw that Janis was staring down at me with the same expression as when she gets a question wrong in class, except redder. She said "Dennis...get off your phone. Stay with me." I just looked at her for a second and then dove back in to her muff. Whatever the fluids are that make a girl's vagina wet?? I think they were getting in my nose. Her pussy was an army.
Janis moaned very loudly three times and did the most perfect goddam thing ever-- she fumbled a hand on to my forehead and cocked my head back so I could look at her face while her thighs bounced off my shoulders. She held my like that for just a few seconds-- long enough for me to get one of my brilliant, deranged ideas. I grabbed my iPhone from beside my leg, pressed the camera app and snapped a picture of her, with her head cocked back, her mouth half open, her massive tits jangling on either corner--they were like, trashy, future soccer mom tits-- and her very Irish dimples basically having a staring contest with me, as if to say, 'Are ye having as blarney of a time as Janis, bogle??'
After I took the picture, I reached up and touched Janis' cheek with one hand, as if to say I was also a strong, sentimental lover and she let me hold the side of her face for a few seconds. Then she smacked my hand away and completely changed tempo. She screamed, "Fuck you, Dennis, fuck you!" I tried to look confused and said; "What??" "Take your fucking phone away from me, fuck you, Oh My God, I thought I could trust you, Oh my God, what is wrong with me..." She hit me with her pillow, prompting me to get off (not like that). For a while I thought it was a game she was playing and was really saying she wanted to fuck me, but when she threw my phone across the room I got the actual drift. I grabbed my phone and told her, okay, I guess I misread your singles, wow, way to tell a dude you hate him. She yelled at me fuck you again as I opened her door and bolted out. Don't think I wanted to be caught dead on an all girls floor with a scary lesbian RA.
For a while, I worried that my phone was broken, but guess what?? Good news! It isn't! I still have those pictures of Janis or rather Janis' tits, nape and chin. I look at the photo and think it's actually kind of masterful, sort of like something Robert Mapplethorp would have done if he were straight and ate pussy. No, I indeed was not having as blarney of a time as Janis, though perhaps I would have had she sucked me cock. I'm thinking that, quality aside, they look exactly like the type of photos you would find in Playboy or something more hardcore. Or even certain Victoria's Secret ads. So I've actually written to Playboy and Victoria's Secret asking if they want the pic for $20,000 and I think I'll solicit a couple other places too. Then maybe I can pay for my college education in a world where so many young people are left in crushing debt that will be passed down to future generations and our government is failing to take action on. Wish me luck.
D
