I have irrational fears of my family disappearing and me being left in a lonely old broken down house and either being forced to have sex with my father or to rot away alone til count Dracula turns up with his rats and bats. and then that is where the shit starts. for the love of the heavens please save me someone. its a fear of mine that people want to just float or drift away from me because I am irrelevant. I am nobody to ask out, I never make friends who last. but amazingly I think I found out that I have at least some blue blood in me. both sides but am I mistaken???? what is this all about????

its a great fear of mine that my parents will die and I will be a lonely old hag childless, friendless and loveless with just ghosts and vampires wrecking my sleep, already the dam thing or a ghost sleeps by my bed. it may be Wilhelm, or an Egyptian or even a flinders flame. but the eyes are looking at me in the leg of the chair and I would not mind a glimpse of dracula myself or some apparition of a ghost that is the most.

why am I here???? why is this happening to me. its mental illness. I'm crazy. sexually seduced by a vampire or young or old.