My ex-wife and I were going to court about the custody of our kids and my ex tries to say I'm unfit because of a "spanking fetish". I bring in my mom who testifies that not only do I not spank my kids, she and I have argued about it because she thinks I should spank them. That convinced the judge to throw out my ex-wife's argument.

Afterwards, my mom asked how my ex-wife could "make up such a terrible lie" about me. I tell Mom that it's true, that I enjoy being spanked. She's completely shocked and asks how that could happen, and I tell her that it's her fault and that I had my first orgasm when I was a kid and she gave me a bare-ass spanking on her lap and that's why I never spank my own kids. You should have seen her face! HA!