I know this is weird but I have a lot of rape fantasies. I also fantasize about being exposed to and fucked by strangers. It started just after college. My roommates were out and I had just gotten out of the shower. I was walking from the bathroom to my room when I was surprised by a man in the apartment. I'm very petite and the guy was huge. He shoved me against the wall and held me there with his hand against my chest. My towel had fallen off and I was totally naked and terrified. The man told me not to move. I stood there pressed against the wall not moving. Another huge guy came out of one of my roommate's bedroom and stopped when he saw me. He looked me over slowly and smiled then went back to looking for things to steal.

The guy holding me told the other guy to hurry up while he stood there looking at my naked body. He told me they weren't going to hurt me. They didn't know I was home when they broke in. He did say "nice tits" to me though. When the other guy came back he looked me up and down again and said "damn" but didn't touch me. They both took off. The police came but never found them.

I was pretty scared after and ended up moving back home. A few months later I was laying in bed at night and lightly masturbating. I started thinking about that day and masturbated hard to the memory and had an intense orgasm. I started masturbating to it again and again with the fantasy becoming more and more elaborate. I fantasize now about being tied to the bed and raped, about men breaking in and forcing my husband to watch as they rape me, about a man with a gun finding me naked and exploring my body with the gun as I squirm in fear, about walking into my hotel room and being surprised by a gang of men who gang rape me. One that always buckles my knees is one where my husband has tied me to the bed nude but then runs out for some reason and the guy from the robbery breaks in and plays with me down between my legs making me orgasm again and again and again til I'm in agony but doesn't stop until he hears my husband return then he runs away and my husband finds me a shaking mess of sweat and wetness. A lot of my fantasies involve my husband letting aggressive strangers use me for sex.

I know this is weird and probably not normal but it's such a strong emotionally and sexually satisfying desire I just can't stop. Sex with my husband isn't satisfying unless I fantasize about one of those situations while we have sex. I feel bad about it but there's nothing I can do. He knows about the robbery but not about me being naked and all that. I'd like to tell him of my desires but I'm afraid he wouldn't understand. It's not that I really want to get raped but a little role play maybe?? I here about and see stories on here and other places about married women having sex with strangers with their husband's permission. How did they get their husbands to agree to that?? Doing it for real might not live up to the fantasy but the older I get the more I want to find out.