I've been dwelling on this for months now. My wife Jillian is two years younger than me. I met her at 30 and we've been married 13 years. While looking for some mortgage paperwork in her desk I came across a padded envelope with four DVD's with just her name and different guy's names written on them like "Jill & Mike/Jill & Rock." The envelope was post marked just over four years ago. A note inside said "These are copies of the videos you asked for. Enjoy! Love R."

Of course I was worried so I played one. It was a transfer of an old video of my wife from when she was in her early twenties. She was sitting alone in a living room of a small apartment laughing. The radio was blaring. It had to be sometime in the late 80's. Seeing her was odd. She was a dancer when she was young and was in great shape then. Her brunette hair was really long and shiny and she had a great tan going. She was a lot more voluptuous when I met her years later and her hair was cut above her shoulders and she hasn't tanned since long before I met her. At first I laughed getting to see her as a kid but then she stood up and I saw that all she had on was a tank top. She walked slowly across the room acting sexy, pulling her top off while a man was talking but I couldn't tell what he said until he came into view sitting on the edge of a queen sized bed. He was a muscle head black guy who was naked except for a pair of shorts.

I know that she was living with a guy named Rick then who was her fiance for a few years before something happened and they broke up. He wasn't black though, that much I knew. While I watched, I saw her pull the black guy's dick out and start sucking on it then start talking dirty. Real dirty. Telling him how much she missed black cock and how it had been too long and that she hated white cock and doesn't let Rick fuck her anymore. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I assume Rick was the camera man but who was the black guy and what was all this black cock bullshit??

The wife I know is very conservative sexually. She doesn't watch porn or want it in the house. She likes to have a couple of drinks on Saturday nights followed by a nice quick screw. She's not real fond of oral sex. This young girl version of my wife was completely different. She allowed herself to be filmed slowly sucking this guy's big dick forever and talking endlessly how much she loved it. Every so often she sucked it really fast and hard then would slow down saying "not yet...I want your cum later." I've never even heard her say the word cum before I saw this video.

This guy got her in a doggie style position with her legs spread wide and explored and fingered her vagina making her yell that she was cumming again and again. Her vagina was trimmed late 80s style so there was a trim bush but she was shaved around her lips which this guy was stroking and spreading for the camera. Whoever was filming was focusing right in while she was making sounds like a porn star. The video lasted over an hour of this guy getting a blow job, fingering her then fucking her doggie style until she had screamed her way through a shitload of orgasms. He was very rough with her, slapping her ass and calling her a bitch and making her say stuff like "I'm your bitch, you own me, my pussy is yours forever, fuck me with your black stick" and lots of similar stuff. The spanking was making me mad. He was fucking her really really hard and slapping her ass really hard making her cry out every time. He tied her hands behind her back in the doggie position and grabbed her long shiny hair, which I loved when I first saw it, and pulled on it hard while fucking her as she screamed. After all this he finished by sitting her up with her hands still tied behind her back and stroked himself til he came in her mouth. She swallowed it all and said how great it tasted and how much she loved it. She's never let me cum anywhere near her mouth or face. This girl was not the same person I married.

I eventually watched all the tapes. They were all pretty similar with her having sex with eight different black guys all of whom had big dicks which she "loved" so much. She screamed through more orgasms than I thought humanly possible. She talked dirty about black cocks and her pussy, her c**t, fuck me, take me, use me, I'll do anything for you" and stuff like that all through the tapes. She swallowed all these guys loads when they came. I never saw a rubber anywhere. I never saw the cameraman. I saw some woman I didn't know.

On one of the tapes, a tall skinny black guy probably about my current age was really treating her nasty. Forcing his long skinny dick down her throat, slapping her ass really hard, fingering her with four fingers really hard and just calling her terrible names. He also tied her up with a neck tie like the other guy. He tied her wrists together but her hands were under her in the doggie position she seemed to favor in those days, legs spread, vagina open. This guy spanked her ass and told her to cum. He screamed and screamed at her to make herself cum. I looked close and I could see her little fingers rubbing herself between her legs. She was rubbing her clit really fast as he spanked her. To my shock, he picked up a wide paperback book and hit an ass cheek with it making her scream. It looked like he hit her as hard as he could and yelled "cum for me bitch."

As her fingers worked her clit he kept at it with the book...he'd wind up and WACK..."SCREAM" "fucking cum", wind up, WACK on the other cheek, "SCREAM", "cum for me", wind up WACK "SCREAM" You fucking white bitch CUM FOR ME!!!" I've watched this particular portion of that video a bunch of times. After twelve wacks, twelve screams and tears flowing down her cheeks she finally came harder than anyone else I've ever seen. The guy rubbed her red cheeks afterward saying in a soothing voice, "there, there slut, don't you feel better??" Then he fucked her doggie style, of course, and finally jammed his dick down her throat when he was cumming forcing her to swallow it.

These videos were filmed over time. I have no idea the order they were filmed. You can tell by her hair style which ones that were filmed close together. There were little snippets here and there mixed in of her flashing her breasts and vagina, still photos of her flashing or sucking cocks or getting fucked by black guys. One little video was a close-up of what turned out to be her hand slowly stroking a black guy's cock until he announced he was going to cum then her face entered the screen and she sucked it all down.

I know this wasn't cheating. It happened years before I met her. I don't understand why she is so different now. I don't get why her sex life then was so wild and now with me it's so mild. She did things with those men she's never come close to doing with me. If she loves black guys so much, why did she marry me?? She must have contacted her old fiance to ask him for these videos?? Why?? Is she watching them wishing her life was still like that?? And Rick having copies is pissing me off. She may have been his then but she's my wife now! And who else has copies?? Who else is watching these videos?? And why hasn't she mentioned it to me or asked me about spicing up our own sex life together?? I know I have no say in what she did before meeting me but I feel violated but this whole thing. I'm afraid if I confront her I'll loose my marriage which up until I found those tapes had been fantastic.