I started to question many things in 1997 and after everything joyce and my relatives did to me, I wondered had ron and my aunty been playing a game on me the whole time like my other cousins were.

then I realized Diana and will had done a number on me, I felt betrayed

but the worst was that started running through my mind did werner do that to...

of all people would werner had betrayed me when I loved him so much and he knew I loved him every part of me.

I felt so betrayed I cried and cried and cried my heart out over werner and started to believe that joyce was taking everything away from me... my past and my present and my future...

she said to me ... that most of the people I had known were not genuine and never cared about me.

I spend years crying over werner feeling guilt, shame, hurt... and anger and that lead to hate and wanting to seek revenge.

even now I ask my mother "all those years that werner came to see me and all the times he hugged me and made a fuss over me infront of people" were they lies, were they just one big game, and I must have been stupid to believe he loved me...

his death was a lie???? his love was a lie to a child????

why spend 10 or more years lying like that???? why bother????????????????

this is the sort of doubt joyce put in my mind, then she started on every aspect of my life and trying to destroy me for her sick satanic sexual pleasure. she would not listen to problems. I despise her and bowies games... they are sick people. they have a sickness that is profoundly abnormal and I hope they die in gas chambers for abusing me. I really really do hope they do. I dream of that revenge. there is no revenge like a gas chamber.

I felt more then raped or molested... to think she got werner to betray his love of me and everyone else.

someone took werner away from me...