When I was in the 4th grade we had a really mean principal at school. Her name was Miss Bard and every kid I knew was deathly afraid of her. Before becoming principal, she'd been a regular teacher and I knew adults who went pale when I mentioned her name.
"What school do you go to Jake??"
I'd tell them.
"Oh, wow...I went there when I was a kid! Whose the principal now, is it still Mr. Edmunds??"
"No, it's Miss Bard."
"Miss Bard?? She's still alive and working there?? Jeez, that's some tough luck kid."

Everyday she'd slowly walk the asphalt playground area in one of her ugly pant suits, hands on her hips, whistle dangling around her neck on a length of cord, glaring at us kids. She always found someone to haul into the office. And since it was the 1970s, corporal punishment was still legal. Miss Bard enjoyed it.
I usually avoided the bitch altogether. I and my friends werent particularly loud or rowdy as far as kids went. We'd find a spot and sit down and talk about music or movies or what cartoons we'd watched the Saturday before. There had been a few times Bard walked past giving us a sour glance, but we had her knocked. We werent doing anything so she couldnt haul us in for anything.
Eventually she did nail us. One day, we were a fraction of a second slow responding to the bell that ended lunch break. Just as we ran up to our classroom door, the tardy bell sounded and she had us and she knew it. She actually smiled.
"The office boys," she told us casually.
I sighed. Fuck, my dad had signed the paper saying Bard was allowed to paddle me. I silently called my dad every name I could think of on the way into the office. Once inside I eyed the attendance secretary, Miss Johnson. She was a tall, pretty black lady with a big afro and one of my mom's best friends outside of school. She looked surprised to see me heading to Bard's office, then gave me a look that said "I'm sorry sugar, good luck". I bowed my head and did my condemned man's walk.
Inside the office, Bard shut the door and told we boys to line up against one wall. There were three of us. Miguel, Todd and me. Bard went to her desk and slid open a drawer, removing a paddle that was more boat oar then swatter. Miguel started crying before she even called him over. Todd gave me a look that said, you better not start crying too. I knew what he meant. I wasn't about to give the bitch the satisfaction of breaking me.
She gave Miguel three good whacks and he yelled out with each one, then left the room crying. Next she called for Todd and he strolled right over and smiled at her. He fucking smiled. And in that instant I loved that crazy redneck kid. He was my hero. Bard really gave it to him for that. She put everything she had into those whacks. He gritted his teeth and turned beet red, but he never once flinched or cried out. Now it was my turn.
"Your Jake aren't you??" She asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"I had your brother Johnny in my 6th grade class the year before I made principal," she said. "He was a real rotten kid. Troublemaker. Halfwit. I hoped you were different."
"I am," I said. My brother was something of a juvenile delinquent, I had to admit. "I get good grades. I was just a second or two late getting to class."
"No excuses," she spat. "I hate excuses. I hate people who cover up their own shortcomings with excuses."
"Yes ma'am."
"Assume the position," she said.
I did.
I waited for the whacks.... they didn't come. Instead I felt Bard's hand on my ass, feeling me. Squeezing gently between my legs. My eyes widened.
"If only I had Johnny back in here," she muttered more to herself than me. "I'd show him who was boss."
She sat the paddle on the desk.
"Unbuckle your trousers and pull them down."
"Ma'am??"
"D o as I say," she growled. I did it. Now I stood there in my tidy whities, my brown corduroy pants bunched around my knees. I felt her hands move over my ass again and reach between my legs to fondle my balls. "Turn around."
I turned slowly and saw her staring at me. So old and mean and full of rage. But there was something else in her black shark's eyes now too, something I wasn't quite sure of.
"We've had some kids here at school with the cooties lately," she said. "I refuse to allow my school to be infested by the cooties. So I need to check you out and make sure your cootie free."
"Isn't that the nurses job," I asked. "And ain't cooties in your hair??"
Her face darkened. "Are you questioning me??"
I saw her hand move toward the paddle. "No."
She reached out with her liver spotted old woman's hand and fondled my penis through my underwear. It felt weird and the little tingly sensations embarrassed me. She pulled back the waistband of my underwear and looked at my privates.
"Nice," she breathed and licked her bottom lip. "Nice."
Then as if remembering herself, she let go and the waistband snapped back in place with a little "pop".
"I won't be paddling you this time," she said. "And the cootie inspection is just between you and I, young man. I don't need a general panic over cooties, with parents and kids running in here asking me about it every few seconds."
"Yes ma'am."
"Now hitch up your pants and get back to class."

Outside Todd was waiting for me around the corner of the office. "Well??"
I told him what happened.
"Ewww," he made a face. "That freak was getting her jollies feeling you up."
I frowned. "Really??"
He laughed. "Your such a baby. I need to explain life to you sometime. Come on man, let's go back to class."