I want to being a normal people...
I dont want to be like this,and i still confuse when i start being a gay....
I want to fall in love on the right way and not break the rules of true life....
Sometimes i envy with my straight friends..their all had a normal life,and easy to maintain their good relationship with the community,and i have to hide my true identity and force myself for being someone,only to maintain a good relationship with my friends and community....
Live in this way,had too much personality just make me sick...i cant stand it anymore...but i really afraid to tell the truth to my friends especially my family....
that was to hard to be a honest,i almost tell the truth to my father that i was a gay but when we meet he always said,"your mother will proud of you,your growth up as a responsible men and one day you will had you own family",than usually we both will laugh....and that words makes me fear to be a honest to him,i cant imagine what reaction that will he show when i told the truth story about his son was a gay.....
I already tried too much ways to changed...but its still dont changed anything,and everything was still same just like before..
Now its just like i stuck in the moment...and find the dead- end.....
I dont know what should i do....