my uncle is was this incredible hulk of a gorilla who yells and threatens and has been in jail for stalking women. he bashes women, molesets kids.

when he was spying and stalking on me in my teens I was so scared of him. my aunty used to get off on him pushing himself onto me while she was having sex with young men who should have been looking at me.


well, one night he was at a party at my parents house shoving things up my skirt, up to my pussy while others were busy doing other stuff. I gave him a dirty look as if "how the fuck dare you" I was a virgin and so scared shitless of him being so violent to women.

what was worse I ended up having an orgasm after he did this to me and just felt so dirty and ugly and self hatred at why I couldn't get a cute guy interested in me while my sister had all these young boyfriends sleeping in her bed as a teen I did not, I had my great uncle was so old and fitting epileptic all the time hitting me molesting me.

so I went upstairs and franticly masturbated with so much anger and dirt in me and cried afterwards.

am I too ugly or something that young cute guys don't look at me and see a shy nervous pretty girl who is scared of this gorilla.

I cried and started feeling sorry for his uncle and then felt stupid I did feel sorry for him later when his daughter hurt me lying about me. I never did I thing to her ever and never would. all the times I looked after her while her parents were out fucking having affairs everywhere.

that was the dirtiest orgasm out of fear, shame and nervousness I have ever ever ever had. then my therapist told me I had to love him. love my enemies til the day I die... fuck I am confused.