I am helplessly in love with one of my best friends. She currently still likes her ex-girlfriend and has a crush guy that works at her dad's tattoo parlor. I am a bisexual girl and she is a pansexual girl, so I thought it might not be too hard to win her heart over since we both kinda play for both teams. We were very close when I confessed my love for her, and all she could say was that she had commitment issues and that she's be a shitty girlfriend. I don't even care. I love her. I'd take things slow with her, make her happy above all else. I wonder if I'm just not get type and so she doesn't want to date me. I wish I could change. I wish I wasn't 150 lbs at 18...I wish I was small and cute like her ex. I'm just this tall, big, nerdy girl that lacks her ex's cute feminine charm. Don't get me wrong, I'm FAR from butch, but I'll never have a "cute and innocent" demeanor about me. I just wish she would give me a change. Then maybe, just maybe, for a moment I could hold her in my arms and make her happy.