I am a black female, professional, married to a man who has lost his "sex". I give him bj or handjobs but no sex. I could not continue having sex with him since he has put on 100 lbs and now weighs 400 pounds. I have not had sex with him for about 10 years.

His sex in his younger day (he is 47) was incredible!!! An ex-football player with a huge "piece". He was also a whore, I mean besides the cheating he did the sex was hard, deep, and long lasting. The oral sex would make me scream so loud I would be weak in the morning. Now he is lazy and cannot/will not satisfy me.

I work out 5x per week, practice Judo, and bodybuild so I know I am taking care of myself as best as a 45 year old woman can. Sexy gowns, high heels, expensive perfume, toys just goes to waste. The only thing he wants to do now is eat, sleep, and watch tv.

I have started a behavior that makes me feel powerful. I get on penpal sites and talk to males. I find that they have to be from certain countries for me to really want to talk. Turkey, Japan, Italy. I pick these countries since the communication is difficult. This way I can flirt without having any discussions. Sometimes they will just pull out and stroke for me while I watch. Most of the time I will wear a low cut blouse and play with the outside of chest..you know, tease with my clothes on. They love this and will send lots of cute pictures or beg for my address to send lacy bra's for me to model for them. I always decline but it does turn me on.


There is one man from Istanbul who is a professional. This guy speaks English so we have great conversations. One time ask me to suck my vibrator and pretend it is him. I love it when he becomes breathless when I deep throat it for him.

The other day we were talking about life in general and politics when out of the blue he ask me if I was wearing a bra. I was shocked since he is a serious man during our world discussions. I told him no. In a commanding voice he said "Open your robe, I want to look at your nipples". This excited me..a lot. I opened my robe and that is when he showed me who he really was. I was ordered to pinch my nipples. I started to pinch my nipples while he kept his eyes fixed on my fingers. This man wanted me to slowly pull my nipples as high as I can. As I did this I could tell he was stroking. I was really into this when I was ordered to open my legs so he can see my "little girl". .I was in a trance as he told me step by step how to pull, tickle, and play with my "pearl". I was ready to "let go" when he suddenly said "don't finish". I was shocked, sweaty, and hot. This man ordered me to " put your clothes back on, wash your face, and lets continue our conversation". I was edged. It was exciting and frustrating at the same time. I felt that tickle, that uncomfortable feeling that needs to come out but he would not let me. We continued to talk about world events while he would smile in a wicked smile since he knew i needed release. I need a dick but..I knew I would not have it.

We play this game at least 3x per week. He never allows us to release at all. When ever I am working or just sitting and relaxes he will text me " do not touch my little girl tonight". This lets me know we well play our games. Now, I do jill off after we finish with skype and I am sure either takes his wife or jack off also but just knowing we can arouse each other is hot and exciting for me.

My husband does not have any ideal that I do this. I know he would probably break my laptop if he found out. Maybe he would break my fingers also.