I have wonderful husband three children and life. Christian wife of a minister and we are missionaries for God. Need to confess this, but not to my husband or any other minister. I posted a search and found this site. Please to not think my life is like all in my faith and please pray for me and my family.
My father was a wonderful man and minister as well. He helped many at out church and treated my mother well. I remember her smiles and laughter. He was a good father and caring. Each night he put me to bed. Tucked me in and laid with me. Once I was sleeping he would sneek out and to be d with mom. It changed as I got older. Dad wore his boxer shorts and a shirt like always. Now he takes his shorts off. He kisses me long and rubs me vagina. On my magic birthday he told me I needed to make love. So he entered me and we made love for the first time. He treated me gentle and so easy. In a few nights pain was over and pleasure started. It feels good and he teaches me movement.
Tells me how good I am preforming and again the act feels natural and so pleasant. I now take pills to regulate my periods. He tells me I do not need to have a period and I do not. For years I never had a period. He never used protection and always finished inside me. He told me how to clean up and keep my self feeling clean. Mom told me how lucky I am to have a loving father like this.
She has no idea dad is having sex with me. As I know today she has no idea and never did. I know she and he had good sex life, she told me. Before my wedding she told me what to expect. How she had her virginity taken by a gentle husband on the wedding night. How he made love to her morning and night for years. He made sure I had medication to not have period; this was to provide extra love making for us. It changed some years later. He now only wanted sex in the morning and few nights per week. He had a problem and did not orgasm each night, but made sure I did.
At that time I knew why he did not orgasm, he had finished inside me. Some nights he did this twice. The time period was in line with my magic birthday as well.
My father had me for years and he actually made love better than my husband. When we came back from our first missionary trip, he suggested we take the upstairs. My husband worked days to save money for our next trip, and dad would get in my bed when he left. Some mornings he pushed into all already wet vagina. I did enjoy this and loved my dad very much.
This is my issue, I do not feel guilty for this. As I got older I heard about child abuse and knew I had taken part. Because I did not feel dirty, did enjoy every second of this, I was guilty as well. If I have the option of my husband or my father, I would take my fathers love making. I sure hope God will forgive me and him as well. I dare not tell my husband nor my mother. I almost gave it up, Mom spoke about love making with a lady of the church. She had problems taking her new husband. He was rough and hurt her. Mom told how she had the same problem. Size was painful for some time. How her husband was extremely large. I said yes he is. I got a strange look from both women. I blushed and said, I remember dad in the tub when I was a child. That seemed to clear this up. Mother thought dad was extremely large but he was about normal. He was very thick, not as long as my husband.
I explained to dad we could not do this. He is older and understands. I have used the knowledge to make my husband a better lover. Though he is not close to what I have enjoyed. I will make due.
On one trip we worked with some families and part of this is sexual issues. I have spoken with others who had sexual relations with family members. One village women had two sons by her brother and two by her husband. Telling her this was wrong was the hardest job of my life. She told how her brother lived with them. How her brother loved and treated her. She said God will forgive everything and she prays for forgiveness after each days experience. She does not take from her husband, but she will not ever tell her brother no.