when i was a child i was wild doing sexual fun stuff or perverse stuff and happily dry humping my way through childhood wherever, then i was like this sweetest little thing shy and demour and oh so lady like then as my life and dreams were breaking down i just became a rebel. i have done terrible things to men as a child and i have hurt a few guys deliberately. sometimes i want to thrash them and fuck them the way i have been fucked and raped and bashed, but i try not to do that physically but i do more verbally now.

i used to be this sweet little thing that would hardly ever express a feeling at all. so shy... but i feel like i am more how i was a kid now. i am more mean and spunky mouthed and bitchy.

as a child i had a wild but fragile ego and not much has changed, where i would be out with my cousin with half my jacket falling off walking around with a spunky cheeky mouth dry humping him in public places, and wanting to fuck all these cute guys, and i think i would have fucked them all if i had not been so held back. my parents deliberately kept me apart from my cousins and i think that was wrong in a way. i wish i had lost my virginity to someone i at least knew better like a friend or a relative like a cousin or someone close to do the job that at least i had some feelings for.