Paul
Hi Paul, myself and my husband have been having multi sex toy sex for years. At first it was just him using toys on and in me. Then one evening I suggested just like you and your wife, I finger his ass as he fucking me missionary. Once I knew he enjoyed it, things just developed from there. Our sex toys have grown to include two different strap ons and a variety of dildos. As for feeling anything different about him or your wife about you. Believe me, she wouldn't be doing any of it if she wasn't comfortable. It doen't make you a gay man, it just means you're prepared to enjoy all types of sex with your wife in the privacy of your home.
If she suggested it I would be all over it! Not sure I could ask for it though.
My wife will use a vibrator on me occasionally. I would love for her to try a strap on at some point as well.
No way in hell I would let my wife do that.