I don't know what to do about this matter anymore so i hope writing this down will relieve some of the guilt and torment i've been feeling the past few months. I've been cheating on my husband for about 4 months now. Worse still, with his close friend. It all started when he encouraged me to go out with his close pal, *Jay and some girlfriends because i had been stressed about work. We went bowling and to a club after that, and i got really drunk that night. One of my girlfriends took me home but i was shocked when Jay sent me several photos of me naked a few days later. In a mode of panic, i offered to sleep with him one time, with the deal that he will eradicate all the embarassing photos of me. But that one time ended up being a huge mistake.

I became addicted to his dick and i can't stop. Just about a month ago, my husband went for a conference out of town for about 5 days, Jay and i ended up fucking for hours everyday. I love my husband very much- he's my best friend and the most caring guy i've ever loved, and i know i will be heartbroken if this marriage fails because of my infidelity but Jay has got a tight grip on me emotionally. He is very well endowed- both length and thickness-wise, and he fucks me like an animal everytime we have sex. But i am getting even more worried each time, as the guilt is overwhelming me. Just recently, Jay started to demand that he go in raw and i have to beg him not to cum inside me. Another thing that has been eating away at me is that we had anal sex a week ago and i've never even done that with my own husband.

Jay knows i love fucking him even though i always cry almost after each session. After i confessed to him that i often think about him when i have sex with my husband, he started spanking my ass and forcing me to say i was his slut. I know i deserve the worst right now but i desperately wish someone who has gone through this will understand where i'm coming from. Just yesterday, he texted me that he loved fucking my tight c**t and that i was going to be his slut forever. This really sickened me, a lot of dirty talk that he does disgusts me and i rarely get turned on by it. I'm really sick with the guilt, shame and helplessness. I am dangerously addicted to another man's dick and i don't enjoy sex anymore with my husband but i love him so much. I know my husband will find out sooner or later.. i want to stop this cheating now, but i don't know how. Jay is like a drug, it's too difficult to stop. This coming weekend is my birthday and Jay texted me saying he was going to fuck me senseless but i am extremely scared. My husband will be at home and i know i can't stray off anywhere. I'm going crazy with this and i know my demons are going to catch up to me sooner or later...